Loving: Sandra Bernhard

I know that a lot of people who even acknowledge Sandra Bernhard's existence hate her, but I've always been a big fan. I think she's ballsy and hysterical and I think it's totally awesome that she was pals with Richard Pryor back in the day. I loved her recurring role on Roseanne and her guest spot on Will & Grace generated one of the best lines of the whole series.*

But her recent digs at former BFF Madonna have me pumping my fist in the air.

According to Page Six, a fan at a recent show in Toronto asked Bernhard if she was still friends with Madge. The pair had a prolific (and sometimes puzzling) friendship in the late 80s and early 90s. The reasons for their split were never clear, but both women showed some class by never getting into any details. But in the years since, Madonna has become...well, a little crazy and from most accounts she's a very unpleasant person nowadays. And Bernhard couldn't hold back any longer, I guess.

To answer the fan's question, Bernhard went off on some five-minute long performance that, supposedly, mocked Madonna's touting of world causes. She also made a dig at celebrities who brag about their extensive work out and diet regimens, namely Madonna and her new waify pal and fellow Anglophile, Gwyneth Paltrow. "Yeah, why don't you rub some salt in the wounds of the people who have to work 14 hours a day?" said Bernhard. To which I say, "HELLZ YEAH!" Or even in the wounds of people who have to work 9 hours a day as a desk jockey, go to school to better themselves, take care of their families, and fill in the rest of their waking hours working toward their actual dreams. Sure, when such celebrities point out that they achieved their physiques through such rigorous practices, they're acknowledging that they have an advantage in the form of time and wealth. But they are still part of the current standards of "beauty" and...yeah. *stomps foot* Bernhard hit the nail on the head with that one.

* Upon finding Will and Grace in her apartment, she snaps, "What are you two Kate and Leopold-looking motherfuckers doing in here?"

Comments

[Sils]

I keep hearing about how unbearable Madonna has become in recent years and I feel like I missed some giant, flaming memo or something.

She seems a lot quieter and far less offensive to my sensibilities now than she did in the 90s, certainly. I mean, sure she's taken on an affected speech pattern since moving to England, but a lot of people do (it's a natural thing to do as a human, you pick up speech patterns -- it's an almost biological behavior pattern -- after living there for 7 months I didn't have an accent but could no longer distinguish between someone with an American or an English accent). And yes, she adopted a child and there was a lot of media hoo-ha around it and the method in which it was done -- but she adopted a child in order to give him a better future and to love and to take care of so I can't quibble with that. And yes, she's found a religion that suits her and some kind of inner peace from that religion, but I don't really care if she's buddist, jewish, or catholic as long as she's not trying to convert me (last I checked she wasn't). And sure, she's become pretty active and fit, but I don't recall her acting superior about it? Just some pictures paps took of her running in the park. She hasn't come out with a work out video and meal plan has she?

I mean, I'm all about the girl power and owning my sexuality as a woman but I was really over the whole Sex book, black and white self indulgent biopic, I'm going to wear a cone bra that could put an eye out thing by the time I graduated from high school. I think it's totally bizarre that people who were her friends when she was so "counter culture" (in a way that was totally NOT counter culture) are railing against her now that she seems to have a pretty average life.

Did I miss something? If I did can someone point me in the direction of the articles where Madonna is seen telling me that I should work out like such and eat such and then read such (effing Oprah)? Because I have no idea where all this anger is coming from aand if I need to be justifiably enraged at someone's existance I'd like to get on it as soon as possible.

[bbbbbb]

WORD, sils!

[b]

I think the Madonna-rage comes from how effing patronizing she is. Kablahblah, eat raw, my kids have never watched T.V., I am so very centered and perfect. There isn't even a nod to how twisted and needy she was when she was "re-inventing" herself every year. There isn't an ounce of self deprecation in that woman. She really comes off as having all the answers, and that is irritating. Even Oprah pokes fun of herself sometimes, and she and I are NOT friends.

[Kim]

I agree with Sandra's comment about the time celebrities are afforded to work out. It also bothers me when you see some size 0 saying "oh, I don't have an exercise routine, I play with my dogs on the beach." *eyeroll*

I could be a size 0 if I didn't eat and ran on the beach for 9 hours a day. But then I wouldn't have a job so I couldn't afford to eat.

[Sils]

I have no idea where that rant came from, I'm not even Madonna's biggest fan, I just don't get it.

I'm starting to feel bad for famous people. Someone help me.

b, I can see that, I guess I just never saw her as patronizing. People ask her questions about her lifestyle and she answers them. I think a lot of people consider things patronizing because of the internal interpretations that they put upon themselves sometimes, rather than the intentions of the speaker.

[Suzy Q]

The thing about Madonna that is so irritating to me is that she is always, first and foremost, in WHATEVER she does, ALL ABOUT HERSELF.

Case in point:

Recently, Ellen DeGeneres celebrated her 50th birthday and a bunch of celebs sent her video greetings. Madonna's was about 90 seconds long, of which 83 seconds she spent talking about herself and her video and her new album, etc. Oh yeah, and Happy Birthday, Ellen. Total. Narcissist.

[b]

It's not that she just answers questions, it's the sanctimony in her answer. I have NEVER heard Madonna joke about herself. So for me, it's the utter lack of humor about who she is and her insanely UNcommon lifestyle.

That said, all the wishing and hoping that her personal life is falling apart that the Entertainment News seems to be doing is appalling. I don't like the woman, but I don't wish her ill will.

[BaltimoreGal]

Can I agree with her and still hate her? Because she annoys me WAY more than Madonna, yet I agree with her overall statement.

[Amanda]

I've never been a fan. I haven't really cared one way or the other, then I saw her emasculate her husband during an interview for His movie. She just couldn't shut up. For her own sake I just wanted her to zip it. She seems to be her own worst enemy.