An Interview with Debbie Phelps, Mother of Michael

Since I hadn’t before heard Debbie Phelps speak until our phone conversation yesterday, I wasn’t completely sure that she could form words or sounds beyond the simple rubbery squeals and clicks that comprise dolphin communication. Afterall, her son did perform an Olympic feat by winning eight gold medals in a single competition and is viewed as the best swimmer – nay, most talented athlete - on the planet, with skills in the water that seem almost beyond human. She shares that feat simply because she raised him. As such, Johnson’s, the baby products company, named her their “Mom of the Olympic Games.”

Michael Phelps’s mother is all exuberance in the stands but complete business when discussing her son and the struggles she faced as a single mother of three competitive children: daughters Hillary and Whitney, and her youngest, Michael himself, who was diagnosed with ADHD. It was the major reason which prompted Debbie to enroll him in competitive swimming along with his older sisters; it was an excellent way to burn off his restless energy.

When Michael was just 11-years-old his longtime coach, Bob Bowman, told Debbie that her son had a “God-given talent.” 

“I never envisioned him as an Olympic athlete,” she says, still in proud awe of his accomplishments. “Even after we sent him to best age group club in the country, you look at how many thousand kids make trial cuts, I mean they’re scooping the cream at the top,” she says. 

While his sisters wouldn’t make this or that team, Michael was consistent in his victories as a kid. In the pool, that is. Behind the scenes, in the locker room, he was teased and bullied relentlessly about his appearance. 

“Michael was bullied – he really stood his ground,” Debbie recalls. “He didn’t hit back, he just kinda of took it in stride. I taught him that sometimes there our children who are not very nice.” Despite this she never encouraged her son to hit back. He did, in his own way, without truly violating her intent. After the infamous relay against the trash-talking French team, Michael revealed in a post-race interview that he internalized all the criticism, the ribbing, the poor-sportsmanship showed to him by anyone, and used it as fuel. He might not punch back in the locker room, but watching his competitors struggle to keep his pace as they fight against his wake gives a new feeling to redemption. 

“You don’t want your child to get burnt,” Debbie explains. “ You don’t want him to get used.” Debbie recounted the time after the 2000 Olympic trials in Indianapolis, when one of Michael’s former bullies approached to congratulate him. Michael couldn’t remember him though the guy protested his familiarity. After the bully walked away Debbie asked Michael if he remembered him. Michael admitted that he did of course, how could he not? The guy had bullied him in the locker room years before. Michael told Debbie that he wasn’t going the give the former bully the satisfaction of his recognition.

Debbie sighs when she says that she’s still protective of him, which is amusing as he’s nearly twice her height and as powerful as an ox. 

“We have talked to him since he was 15 about finding out who your true friends are,” she says. “After games in 2000 he came to me and said I’m going to go to the movies tonight and he named some girl – I asked about her. He said ‘Oh, she goes to my high school.’ He told me how old she was. She was older – I told him: ‘She’s a senior, you’re a freshman – was she your friend before the games? He sometimes gets so caught up with people, people who want to be friends on Facebook, you know. I meet people who are excited by Michael – and I’m all ‘How many swim meets have you been to?’” 

It’s a mother’s natural response to the sudden influx of zealous new swim fans, famewhores, and other creatures that tend to suddenly appear from thin air whenever someone strikes it big. 

I asked her how on earth she was able to maintain a grocery bill for a teenage boy who requires over 10,000 calories a day. 

“I hate to cook, cooking is not my forte,” she chuckles. “I had to make sure that we were very economical on our grocery bill as a single mom with three kids. We ate a lot of carbs and protein. Michael just kind of eats continuously, he sort of grazes like a cow.” 

Despite her challenges as a single mother Debbie made it work, insisting that Michael fulfill his academic obligations, like homework, before hitting the water. She also relied on a support system of other swim moms. 

“I couldn’t have done everything without the support of the other moms,” she says. “And with the kids it was a collaborative effort in the home.” 

Of course I had to ask her the question that’s burning through the heart and minds of so many women in America and I was the only one to ask such a totally tabloid question but I new you’d flog me for it if I didn’t: Does Michael have a girlfriend? 

“We’ve always let Michael speak on that topic,” she says with a grin in her voice. “He’s had some very nice dates with some lovely young ladies.” That was big praise coming from the very discerning Mama Phelps. 

“I’d heard of Amanda Beard …” I baited. 

“Amanda Beard and Michael are not boyfriend and girlfriend,” she said with a twinge of disgust in her tone. Beard had deflected such a question earlier to the press and her response was littered with “Ew,” and “Nasty,” which has half of America wondering if Beard is more a fitting description rather than a last name.

I kid. Beard later softened her response, saying that she was “joking.” 

In the meantime Debbie has some aspirations of her own: she’s planning on releasing a book. 

“I wanted to launch it prior to Olympics, but I just launched a new school,” she says, referring to her job as a principal at a Baltimore-area school. She’s considering a book based upon parenting – possibly a book connecting parenting with athletics. 

“In my family with my three kids I’ve been on both sides of these coins with a child who’s very competitive and who made the team and one who was very competitive and didn’t make team,” she says. 

Later, at the end of our discussion she shares advice from her own mother, her apparent role model: “It’s here and its gone tomorrow, she says of success. “I have to go back to my mother’s lesson in valuing each day and making the best of it; you don’t know what’s going to happen next.” 

Check out more of Debbie’s story on Johnson’s website (and see cutey-pie photos of baby Michael).