Iron Man v. Batman: Who Ya Got?!

Robert Downey, Jr. is no stranger to controversy. I would include a bunch of hyperlinks to back my point but this site would collapse under the virtual weight. He, of course, was Jon Favreau's unusual and (in this comic book geek's opinion) inspired choice to play Tony Stark in this summer's Iron Man. Iron Man went on to make tons of money, but fell short of the box office records set by the other big superhero movie...wait, incorrect, "superheroes" are heroes that possess superpowers, i.e. Superman, the Flash, and the Hulk (Ant Man fans - he doesn't count because he shrinks to the size of an ant but only possesses the strength of a normal human. Kryptonite can kill Superman. My four-year-old's Skechers can kill Ant Man. Ant Man - not a superhero.) Batman and Iron Man are just normal guys with cool stuff. Anyway, I will get to my point so Sweetney doesn't fire me: Robert Downey, Jr. thinks Batman sucks. Which got me to thinking - who's more awesome? The Dark Knight or The AA Avenger? 

Let's compare the two, shall we?

Suit/gear - Iron Man: super-powered armor that enables him to outfly fighter jets and punch through walls and tanks, Repulsor Rays that can blow shit up real good. Batman: the Batmobile gets blown up, is replaced by the Bat Big Wheel, and Bruce Wayne asks Lucius Fox to make him a new suit, with the main criteria being that it's dogproof. Advantage: Iron Man.

Digs - Tony Stark's cliffside Malibu pad looks like a cross between Austin Powers' Shagcastle and the Jetson's summer home. And it has a cool talking virtual butler. In The Dark Knight, Bruce Wayne lives in an apartment and has to commute to a well-lit crawlspace under the docks. Advantage: Iron Man.

Assistants: Tony Stark's. Bruce Wayne's. Advantage: Iron Man.

Nemesis: Batman fights the Joker, a twisted psychopath with a knife fetish, played by Heath Ledger in a performance for the ages. Iron Man fights The Dude. Advantage: Iron Man.

So Robert Downey, Jr. has a point; I loved The Dark Knight, but my empirical analysis shows that Iron Man has the goods. Gotta go - my mom's yelling at me to clean up her basement. So much for it being "my" room.