Oh, Shut the Hell Up, McDonald's

If you haven't heard, McDonald's is hoping to be a major player in the gourmet coffeehouse market and steal the title of "The McDonald's of Coffee" away from Starbucks. I guess the marketing geniuses at McDonald's didn't get that that moniker is supposed to be an insult, but whatever.

I don't think you'll be surprised to learn that what I'm taking issue with is their advertising.

I'm not against the concept, really. I mean, I'm kind of a coffee snob, but I imagine that as long as McCafe uses high-quality beans and adheres to good coffee practices, it will be an enjoyable and much more affordable alternative to Starbucks. Also, a friend of mine who used to work at McDonald's corporate offices and get a peek at the man behind the curtain, so to speak, heard about this plan years ago and says that McDonald's McCafe efforts should not be underestimated.

Anyway, two of the TV spots depict stereotypical coffeehouse denizens sharing the news of the new McCafe's, attempting to feign disgust, and then breaking down into relief. In one, two guys declare that they love watching football and want to shave off their goatees.

The other ad features two women, and their list of joyful revelations is longer and way more infuriating. These women, because of their desire to have good coffee, have been forced to pretend that they like jazz, wear sensible shoes, read newspapers and books, not watch crappy TV, pretend that they speak another language, and posture that they know what Paraguay is and where it's located.

Now, I know that these ads aren't "serious," per se, and are supposed to be cheeky. But pleast tell me why the dudes were merely giving up football while the ladies were pretending to, like, know shit. Not only do these reinforce some bullshit social stratifications, in which educated yuppies go to coffeehouses and the unwashed masses go to McDonald's and never the tween shall meet, but their attempts to speak to my demographic are, once again, condescending and insulting. "Oh, you cute little lady. I know that you really want to giggle and chew gum and drink coffee at McDonald's with the other cool kids. You + McCafe = BFFs!"

I also know that the more direct message is that coffeehouses are full of snobs and you can't relax and be who you are while you drink your coffee. But, oh my god, who cares? Was this really a pressing social issue? And if you see yourself in these ads, let me give you a little confidence boost. Take US Weekly to Starbucks and read it proudly. If anyone gives you a dirty look, give them the finger.

Check out the ads below:

Comments

[Karen]

I just want to know what these ladies do for a living that they can sit in a coffeehouse and "listen to jazz all day". Because, you know, I have gone to coffeehouses...but I don't sit there all day. *confused*

[swag]

Should a company that popularized batter-fried indistinguishable parts of chickens slathered in high fructose corn syrup really be complaining about people being too "snobbish" about what they ingest?

[Jenny]

I'm not a big fan of the new stuff at Mickey D's. The caramel flavoring is too chemical-y and one time the server asked what type of flavoring I wanted in my mocha. I asked her "doesn't it already have chocolate flavoring?" and she said only in the iced mocha. Huh?!

[jen from boston]

I agree- I've seen both, and I really didn't "get" how the women's version was supposed to be funny. I'm pretty sure I'm smart, too.

And yes, the men's side was much more benign and my husband may have laughed at the line, "I have to keep *my* glasses. They're very real."

Anyway, why would I McCaf' if when I can Dunkin it? That is all I have to say about that.
(for the rec, I do enjoy The Starbucks. Just my wallet can't always take the beatin'.)

[margemayhem]

I had a vanilla iced coffee the other day and it was absolutely vile. No way it could compete with Starbucks or other coffee shops.

[Suzy Q]

Hoo boy! Chemically-flavored coffee at McDonald's! Sign me up!

PS: Are they seriously calling it McCafe? Just...ew.

[skroll63]

i am so far from being a coffee snob. I mean I don't go to the Starbuck's across the street from my office because, duh, we have Flava machine in kitchen! I've had many of the hazelnut iced coffees at McD's and while they can't seem to get the syrup measurements right all the time, it's easy on my wallet...just sayin!

[Amalah]

See, I AM a coffee snob. Which is why I hate Starbucks and their burnt bitter coffee. I'll go ANYWHERE ELSE in search of a good, basic brew.

Except, now, for McDonalds McCafe, because fucking hell, men poke fun at their goatees while women admit to pretending to READ BOOKS AND NEWSPAPERS? Seriously?

"I think that barista overcharged me, but you know, whatever. Math is hard!"

[BaltimoreGal]

I go to McDonalds... to get a Coke. I go to the LOCAL coffee shop... to get a coffee. That ain't gonna change.

[Condo Blues]

I am a coffee snob but will buy java at a gas station if the need/addiction arises. I haven't had the McCafe stuff yet I'm sure I'll get around to it. Is it coffee from a real bean or is it a fakeachino=powdered flavored coffee + hot water ?

I don't get the coffee shop girls = those who wear long skirts and sensible shoes. I'd think that the stereotype coffee shop poser would be the opposite.

[Sils]

I hte Starbucks. There. I said it. It's overpriced, poorly made coffee, that is intentionally burned to taste "straonger" and produced on the backs of bean farmers who are in no way fairly compensated.

I was talking to someone the other day and I used to find Starbucks tolerable enough that if someone else was going there I would pick up a cup out of convenience rather than making two stops -- now? I can't stomach it. I am unable to finish a cup of their coffee and the only explaination I can think of is that I can't stand the taste of human suffering. Its like shopping at Walmart, even if the stuff they sold wasn't cheap crap I couldn't shop there and live with myself.

Also, I was raised in Maine and Dunkin Donuts has always had superior coffee, in so far as flavor is concerned.

I prefer the local coffee shop Three Roots here in Tempe, or the chain The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf - vastly superior coffee *and* politics.

[Sils]

Also, I have a concussion (thanks to sleeping on the wrong side fo the bed in a hotel room the other night) and any spelling errors are being attributed to that today.

Not that it makes up for any other day.

[Vicky]

I am with Amalah on her comment. That killed me. They have this already in my area since the beginning of the summer and I just bypass it. It grosses me out. Their premium still tastes like office-brewed sludge to me.

And McCafe? Sounds like something I'm trying to cough up.

[avonlea]

Wow, that women's version of the commercial is really insulting. Yuck -- I don't like the iced vanilla coffee stuff at McDonalds; I had to throw it away because I couldn't finish it.
I agree about Starbucks tasting bitter. About the only think I can drink there is some of the lattes (because, hello, it's mostly milk with flavoring) and the eggnog latte, nom nom.

[Danielle]

I don't know if the advertising is the problem here. I think the fact that McDonald's wants to take more money off the price of coffee and ultimately away from the farmer who grows the coffee than even Starbucks does is kind of gross.

Buy fair trade from locally owned coffee shops, and tell McDonald's to go bleep themselves.