All I Ever Needed To Know About Politics, I Learned From Eazy-E

There are a couple posts about the election on this site that are getting a lot of play. I really don't appreciate their attempt to distract me from The Office, Angelina Jolie, and the impending release of High School Musical 3, but what the hell? You gotta give the people what they want.

I'm gonna make this simple. All you need to know about politics comes right out of Eazy-E's dead mouth.

Yeah, he's been dead for 13 years. But a sign of true lyrical genius inheres in the perpetual relevance of his pristine words. After the jump I'm gonna break it off, son.

Stand up, clear your throat, and read the following out loud. This will permit its full impact to shine forth. Poetry is more than the meaning of its content. Poetry is about sound. Let it sing, MamaPop Reader!

"So you can kiss my black ass / Fuck the White House / It ain't my house / So you can burn the motherfucker down for all I care / Cuz T-shirts & khakis is all I wear"

-from the track Niggaz My Height Don't Fight, Eazy motherfuckin E, 1992

Please DO NOT make the mistake of letting what might be perceived as vulgar detract from its significance. Eazy's pronouncement was meant to boldly sound in the ears of BOTH John McCain AND Barack Obama. They can both kiss his black ass. Fuck the White House. Good writers will frequently mention opposites like black & white in close proximity because it cradles the Reader in an unconscious sense of wholeness. Anyway, fuck the White House.

It's not your house.

Here Eazy-E points up the monumental distance between the President and your average gangster rapper. However, he implicates you in this distance as well. Indeed, the White House ain't your house neither.

Next, Eazy, like an antenna transmitting global sentiment and our own collective American self-loathing, lights the match: You can burn the motherfucker down for all I care. Tell me. Why were you so riveted to the television on 09/11/2001? OK. Set your first reaction aside for the moment. Again, why were you so riveted to the television? O shut-up you were aching for it. Eazy-E was alive in his grave and you were on the edge of your seat.

As if that were not enough, Eazy-E then lights the entire Western scientific concept of causation ablaze with the incomprehensible lyric: Cuz T-shirts & khakis is all I wear.

Go ahead. Take a moment. I admit it. It's a head scratcher.

This lyric launches Eazy-E into timelessness. His justification of burning down the White House as a function of his limited wardrobe of T-shirts & khakis eludes all rational categories. It doesn't cohere. And the attempt to make it cohere leads only to frustration. This timeless dope rhyme seeks ultimately to formally express the fundamental condition of American politics: a lack of coherence. It's a 3 ring fucking circus.

But there is solace to be found in chaos. In the end, we can all guage are choices based on another of Eazy's nuggets of wisdom from the same song: "I'm going crazy like 1980 / I need my ends fuck you pay me".

I'm Black Hockey Jesus, and I endorse this message.

Comments

[Maria]

LOL dude you're such a brilliant nutbar.

[Rhea]

You remind me of my high school English teachers who analyzed the heck out of everything. At some point, words are just words, BHJ. I think you stretched too far on this one. But it made me think, as always.

[SLPM]

Black Hockey Jesus - your words intrigue me.

I am always compelled to visit your blog as a result of your off-beat and insightful postings. Then I read the URL, and quickly close it out - cuz I'm pretty sure "wind in your vagina" will be flagged by the IT group for my place of business...

[Lori]

This is awesome. Seriously. "His justification of burning down the White House as a function of his limited wardrobe of T-shirts & khakis eludes all rational categories. It doesn't cohere." So awesome.

[muskrat]

brilliant. if only he sang about pissing on the IRS: http://tinyurl.com/4m8hfn

[kdiddy]

I love Eazy-E.

[BaltimoreGal]

Word.
You are OUT THERE- and I'm with ya.