Friday Eye Candy: Brain Candy, Wordsmith Edition

So I just read The Corrections, on Tracey's recommendation, and it occurred to me, as I lingered over the last few delicious pages, that I had maybe developed a whopping crush on Jonathan Franzen, the author.

You know what I mean by that, right? That overwhelming feeling of, oh, wow, I would just so love to curl up in this person's head, or, failing that, maybe just corner them with a bottle of scotch and demand that they explain their brilliance, which is not so much a book crush (where you fall in love with the characters or the lifeworld of the characters or the story or whatever) but a crush on the mind of the person who created a totally compelling literary space and seduced you therein with his or her words. THAT kind of crush.

I have a few of those. Franzen is the just the newest. I don't think he's the most intense of my writer crushes. That honor goes to...

... David Sedaris, who I just want to shrink down to pocket size and carry around with me in my coat, always. Figuratively, of course. He was in Utah recently, apparently. Dooce went to see him, which made me madly, madly jealous of Heather Armstrong. I have to make to do with YouTube David Sedaris, rather than Live In Utah David Sedaris, which, you know, feels like a rip-off:

I also, as you know, have a crush on Amy Sedaris, David Sedaris' sister, who totally counts as a writer because even though she mostly writes recipes and craft ideas and comedy scripts and tips for keeping rabbits, she manages, through sheer force of words, to make these things totally fascinating to me, which is something very close to a minor miracle.

And even though it's totally not fashionable to have writer crushes on British misanthropes, I can't help myself:

Martin Amis. Sorry. Can't help it. I also, as it happens, have a crush on Martin Amis' writing room:

Lady writer crush:

Joyce Carol Oates. Be still my wordy heart.

My longest-standing crush is, however, this lady:

Judy Blume. You never forget your first.

This list is by no means exhaustive - believe me, I could fill pages of virtual space writing odes to my writer crushes - and I've only here considered crushes on living writers. Throw dead writer crushes - you know, Herodotus, Stendhal, David Foster Wallace, et. al. - into the mix, and we'd need a whole 'nother blog (or edition of FEC, as it were.)

Share your writer crushes in the comments!

Comments

[Kathy]

Amy Hempel, Lorrie Moore, Lydia Davis, Jonathan Lethem, A.M. Homes, somewhat embarrassingly, Chuck Klosterman...

I'll second Joyce Carol Oates, but I know a lot of smart people who really hate her writing. Secret crush...

[diamondcait]

Augusten Burroughs, Laurie Notaro, Jennifer Lancaster, of course David Sedaris, Madeline L'Engle and Dorothy L. Sayers (in the Dead Writers I Have Loved category), Dennis Lehane, and on and on...

[Jacki]

Jen Lancaster, Chuck Klosterman and Francesca Lia Block

I met David Sedaris in June. It was awesome. He autographed a book for my husband by drawing a gun that looked like a penis...

[BaltimoreGal]

I met a woman once who went to college with Joyce Carol Oates. She had this to say:
"Her parents dropped her off the first day of college and didn't come get her until graduation."
Also, "She was quiet."
In addition to the above, John Hodgman (of course), Barbara Kingsolver and Margaret Atwood.
And Harper Lee- the ultimate.

[Her Bad Mother]

Kathy - yeah, I know, but I thumb my nose at those smart people ;)

Her short stories are brilliant. She does gothic without actually being gothic. And if you've ever read her collection of essays on boxing - you know she's a master of the word.

[KBO]

I have a picture of David Sedaris right next to my picture of my husband in my office. No big. Love Chuck Klosterman, too.

Huge girl crush on Amy Vowell and Margaret Atwood.

[Genesis]

Monica Hughes, Stephenie Meyers, (yeah, I like YA fiction!) Stephen King and Arthur C. Clark.

[MzEll]

My top two are Catherine Newman and Neil Gaiman. Yum and Yum.

[Little Read Hen]

Anne Lamott, Arthur Miller, Ernest Hemingway, Kevin Henkes (anyone who can cause my kid to sit still and or snuggle for a full hour at a time is totally crush worthy).

[MetroDad]

I have so many writer crushes, it's ridiculous.

Tops are Jhumpa Lahiri, Margaret Atwood, Isabelle Allende, Ann Patchett, and Joyce Carol Oates.

[Nancy]

Great question! I could go on about this one for quite some time. I'd say my top five are David Foster Wallace, Jonathan Safran Foer, Paul Auster, Dave Eggers and Junot Diaz.

Buddy Crushes on David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs.

[Kate]

Kate Atkinson.

[Anonymous New York]

Zora Neale Hurston and Maya Angelou. If they could narrate my life, it would be so much prettier. And I love the sound of Ms. Angelou's voice. Like verbal warm hug.

[Her Bad Mother]

Jonathan Safran Foer! CANNOT believe that I didn't include him. He is waaay high on my list.

[sweetney]

first of all, BACK OFF FRANZEN, BEEYOTCH. i introduced you two, so in this imaginary world wherein either of us might actually snuggle up with him at night, I GET DIBS, DAMMIT.

i love me some Klosterman and Eggers, if we're talking alive and kicking writers. if the dead can be included however, that could get messy (no pun intended).

[Amelia Sprout]

Totally David Sedaris. Who oddly enough is very nearly pocket sized. He was sick and canceled my one chance to see him, wah!

Tomi De Paolo for kids books. Does illustrations count?

And then maybe some of my favorite bloggers like you, Alexa @ Flotsom, there are others.

[Sally Says]

I love this FEC!

I had a hardcore crush on the Australian author, Peter Carey. I was deeply hurt when his marriage ended and he didn't look me up.

Have smaller crushes on Ian McEwan, Nick Hornby and while he's not strictly a writer, Eric Bogosian.

[Jozet at Halushki]

Billy Collins
Bill Bryson
Edna St. Vincent Millay
Zilpha Keatley Snyder, who was a gateway crush for Marion Zimmer Bradley

My writer blog crush:

Moreena at http://moreena.typepad.com/ Good god, but that woman writes with silken threads.

And Anne Nahm and Problem Child Bride make my head spin with their humorous wordsmithing.

[Jason]

Da ladies in my literary hiz-ouse: Annie Dillard, Joan Didion, Elizabeth Arthur, Diane Ackerman, Sarah Vowell, Susan Casey, and Natalie Goldberg (for technical advice).

[BaltimoreGal]

Totally forgot about Sarah Vowell! She's so cute!

[Suzy Q]

Amalah, Nelson DeMille, Richard Laymon, Michael Crichton, Bill Fitzhugh, Tim Dorsey, Bentley Little, Laurence Shames, Anita Diamant, Ann Benson, Katherine Neville...oh, I could go on and on.

[BJ]

HECK YES to Foer. Also, John Kennedy Toole, and my ultimate--David James Duncan; the man is a god.

[Snarky Amber]

The late David Foster Wallace, Paul Auster, Michael Chabon, Carole Maso, the late Flannery O'Connor, David Sedaris, Sarah Vowell and Neil Gaiman.

[mallory]

joyce carol oates is my lady writer crush and Im absolutely head-over-heels for Tom Robbins, but I think he's like 80?

[noholzbarred]

Rather than list my favorite authors, which to me is something entirely different than a crush, I will just list the one who I would leave my husband for, should he ever happen to ask: Neal Stephenson. I know he's a little funny-looking, but the way his brain works turns me on...