KFC Advertising Execs Don't Know How Grocery Shopping Works

Pictured above is a KFC Famous Bowl. It's not directly related to this post, but I'm displaying it for purposes of full disclosure. Comedian Patton Oswalt describes said bowls as "a failure pile in a sadness bowl." Because I have no dignity, I ate one of these during a long drive and 45 minutes later found myself sweating in the dirtiest gas station bathroom in the backwoods of Virginia, swatting sci-fi proportion horseflies away from me as my digestive system howled in protest.

I just want to be upfront about the fact that I'm a little bitter toward KFC, so my critique of their latest, ridiculously stupid campaign might be biased.

It's called the KFC $10 Challenge and it goes a little something like this:

The facts of the 7-piece meal are this: wings are counted in the 7 pieces of chicken and it includes one side and 4 biscuits. I really don't see a family of three getting to the end of this meal without bloodshed over the last bits of meat on a scrawny wing.

Now for the "challenge." Alright, yes, if you're starting with an empty pantry then making that meal from scratch would definitely be well over $10. But it's not like every single time you want to make fried chicken, you have to buy a whole new sack of flour, a whole new bottle of oil, and re-stock your spice rack. You buy those staples ONCE every few months, then at most you have to buy chicken and maybe some milk and eggs if you're out so you can make biscuits and that shopping trip probably doesn't cost you more than $10.

The other part of this commercial that totally cracks me up is the little boy asking the supposedly stupid grocery worker, "Do you have The Secret Herbs and Spices?" The worker replies, "Um..." And do you know why he has that response? BECAUSE "SECRET HERBS AND SPICES" IS NOT AN ENTITY IN ITSELF!!! OH MY GOD, LADY! IF YOU'RE TRYING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS A LESSON IN THRIFTINESS AT THE SUPERMARKET YOU MIGHT WANT TO MENTION THINGS LIKE PLURAL NOUNS! It's not like "The Colonel's Blend" will be nestled in between cayenne pepper and cardamom.

Of course, at the end, this pantry-less family realizes that they're not making fried chicken for under $10 and decide to move their Mensa meeting to KFC. One can only hope that we don't see them next in a Home Depot commercial trying to find a toilet for under $100 so they can have diarrhea at home, too.

What's messed up is that there a lot of people who can't afford to keep their kitchens (if they even have a home for that matter) stocked with staples and who live day by day and do take whatever money they have to some place like KFC to feed their kids. It's not an exercise in frugality, it's survival. And it fucking sucks.

So, KFC, a little truth in advertising, hmm? How about instead of a bright, suburban supermarket you show some broke folks shuffling out of Wal-Mart and heading to your fine establishment, getting ready to shovel some failure pile into their mouths and trying, for just a second, to forget about the soul-crushing, asstastic state of the economy, commercial food, and health in 21st century America? My family's available.

Comments

[Sils]

I think the same thing everytime this commercial comes on.

There's a big movement in grocery advertising to market foods as meals and how much it costs per serving right now. It's a fascinating thing to watch because, as well all know, Americans aren't very good at eating "a serving," so I'm waiting for the large scale backlash.

People are going to wind up tightening their belts in more than one way in this economy, and the fact is that not having as much money could be better for the health of our nation if people DO buy staples instead of convenience foods.

[Diane]

This commercial drives me BATTY. Thank you so much for bringing this up. I'd say more, but the whole thing just makes me so mad I can't even stand it.

[bd]

"Of course, at the end, this pantry-less family realizes that they're not making fried chicken for under $10 and decide to move their Mensa meeting to KFC."

My co-workers just checked on me as I cracked up hysterically in my very open cubicle during lunch. No, I didnt choke, but OMG, KFC are a bunch of idiots. Wasnt there a post recently about 2 guys guarding the "secret herbs and spices" recipe???

[RuthWells]

"It's not like "The Colonel's Blend" will be nestled in between cayenne pepper and cardamom."

Certainly not -- Colonel's Blend should be housed between the cardamom and the coriander. Unless the stock boy can't alphabetize, that is....

[sassystitcher]

It's all true! I hate that commercial and I agree with what you're saying about the state of the economy and how things might end up better if people stop going to the golden arches or running for the border.

Growing up in the south though, the failure pile in a bowl of sadness has some appeal to me. I've not tried it for fear of the same situation you described. But the premise still sounds good. I've no huge problem with any of the ingredients separately and my dad always says it's okay to mix food together because it's all going to the same place anyway. Luckily for me, the Hungry Girl cookbook has an at-home, lighter version that I think I'll be calling a yummy pile in a bowl of goodness from now on :)

[Barbara]

On the way home from a long road trip I begged my husband to stop at KFC. I was pregnant and for whatever hormonal nonsense I NEEDED that fried chicken NOW!

Two straight hours of the worst case of burning diarrhea later...

To this day the commercials make my stomach roll over and that baby I was pregnant with is now 18 months old. ICK

[BaltimoreGal]

Thank you, kdid, for calling foul on this commercial that makes me so angry.

The "failure pile in a sadness bowl" bit by Patton Oswalt is one of the funniest bits I have ever heard. The whole album is really funny, actually.

You can hear 'bout the whole hillock on youtube, of course.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfan5MacmsI

[Irma]

A few days ago, we were very late getting home and nobody wanted to cook, so we stopped at a fast food place to grab some burgers & fries for the three of us. Nineteen dollars later, all I could think about was how much groceries I could have purchased for that same amount of money. You can get a lot of meat and vegetables on your grill or in your crock pot for $19!

[jen]

Pat Oswalt was on Conan O'Brian with his bit on the "failure plie in a sadness bowl" it was a riot! I saw it before knowing about the product since I usually skip commercials with the DVR. I couldn't believe KFC was serious, that was the GROSSEST thing I've ever seen outside of a dumpster, yuck! Now this idiot-fest, and guess what you CAN make a BETTER fried chicken dinner for less that $10! Grab a box of six pieces of Banquit (already pre-)fried chicken (six pieces NO damn wings!) that's just six dollars, all you need is an oven and cookie sheet. You got $4 left for frozen vegies and bisquits which I can easily get at the grocery for less than that and have way more BETTER food than nasty greesy KFC. I got my own better "secret recipe" of spices, they can keep theirs. I've yet to have anyone prefer the KFC crap fest to real cooked food, even if it's Banquit with spices added. Still cheeper, more and better quality food. Screw KFC and their sicko-fest for morons.

[Heidi]

"there a lot of people who can't afford to keep their kitchens (if they even have a home for that matter) stocked with staples..."

i read that at first as:
there are a lot of people who can't afford to keep their kitchens. period.

this economy is horrifying and i'm appalled that kfc would suggest that eating there saves people money. jerks.

[rednexmama]

Totally agree, but um, how much is chicken down there, cuz up here in the frozen North ten bucks gets me MAYBE 3 chicken breasts... no veg, no milk, no eggs... Then again, it would cost me an EASY $20+ to feed my small family of three at KFC. Plus the cost of Pepto afterwards!

[clarabella]

REDNEXMAMA: I can buy a whole roaster chicken at my friendly neighborhood Kroger for around $6. I can buy one already roasted for $4. (Wow, that doesn't make any sense.)
Also, this commercial infuriates me to no end for many of the reasons already iterated. I mute it every time.

[LiteralDan]

Despite the appropriately bitter undertone to the post, "Trying to find a toilet for under $100 so they can have diarrhea at home, too" will just make me laugh and laugh until something new comes along. But who knows when that will be? Man, oh man.

[Monica]

"...and decide to move their Mensa meeting to KFC"

I just spit all over my computer screen. It was really glamorous.

[Karina in T.O]

Dude, but you've got to admit. If you're backed up??? KFC will open up your bowels in a flaming explosion like no other meal out there...... Not even a coffee & ciggie can compare to the sheer intestinal revolution caused by that chicken!!! Who need colonics when you've got the Colonel???

I really think that chicken hitting your belly is akin to Tequilla hitting your bloodstream. Great at the moment, horrifying after it sets in!! ::shudder::