Pop the Top Off Some Kid Rock Beer!

Ever wonder what bandanna sweat, strip club stench, and rattails tastes like? Your waiting days are numbered: Drinks America Holdings Limited has signed a deal with Kid Rock to brew his own brand of "premium domestic beer."

I honestly didn't think that beer could get any more hillbilly than Pabst Blue Ribbon - and this is coming from an author who drinks STAG for pity's sake. (Gold can = fancy. Nothing but the best for my guests chez Loesch.)

This is the same company that made Willie Nelson's bourbon, Paul Newman's fruit juice, and Donald Trump's vodka.

The company CEO pipes up: "Kid Rock is a reflection of great American rock 'n' roll music and the American spirit, and we think we can create a beer in that same image. ... There is no question in our mind that people will try a beer that Kid Rock will stand by and when they like it, a great and incredibly valuable trademark will be created."

Oh no. When I hear American rock 'n 'roll I think of Chuck Berry, Elvis Presley, Jack White, Jimi Hendrix, Aerosmith, not a guy who can't play an instrument well and who believes that the 90s trend of rapping in a rock song is still musically acceptable. Granted, I think he's a good character, I'm all fist-in-the-air with him regarding supporting the troops and being generally un-PC, but do I find him a relevent and acceptable representation of the rock 'n 'roll asthetic? No. Rock is about more than keeping a booth warm inside one of the east side clubs, it's more than looking like a rock star; you have to produce music that both inspires and defines a generation. Seriously - Aerosmith's "Eat the Rich," from "Get a Grip?" Taught me about capitalism and gave me a general disdain for people who fix the market. Swear to gawd.

"Bawitdaba?" Rock's most famous song? I like, nay, adore metal (to be clear - Kid Rock isn't metal. Ministry? METAL. Opeth? METAL. If my ears aren't happily bleeding, it's not metal), and appreciate that aspect of it but it was a personal introduction with a nonsensical chorus. Not an anthem for an age. Every good rock song at least aspires to greater things.

I realize that I've driven off-road and veered dangerously close to getting too cerebral about this but I'm not going to be sold a gimmick by a company whose thought is possibly very likely: "When we think of rock and the American spirit we think of a giant redneck drinking beer! Let's get the biggest one and put his face on a label! Novelty! Plus it reinforces the pejorative stereotype of the America spirit while simultaneously shortchanging and insulting rock music!"

Thanks, but I'll stick to my Stag.

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Comments

[Missie]

"Kid Rock is a reflection of great American rock 'n' roll music and the American spirit, and we think..."

that it would benefit society more if Kid quit combing his hair with a porkchop.

[BaltimoreGal]

Sorry hon, but no way Stag is better than Natty Boh. It winks at ya!
http://www.nationalbohemian.com/

And you WISH he combed his hair with a porkchop.

[KimPossible]

Erg. My ex boyfriend worked for Sunbelt, the crew that made sure KidRock et al had power. Generators and such. One night, Andy, the ex, called me to let me know he was in seventh heaven; a strip joint with none other than Kid Rock. While on the phone with Andy, I could hear some whoopin and hollerin, and when I asked him what was going on, he told me Kid was havin a good old time with the strippers. Okay, fast forward. I called Andy a little bit later and all was quiet. Asked him what was going on and apparently Kid had passed out on stage. Girls trying to revive to no avail. Basically, the Dennys/I-hop/Cracker Barrel, whatever story that was with Kid getting in a fight didn't surprise me at all. Damn I hate myself when I sing along to his tunes.

[The Usual Suspect]

This guy was a hip hop DJ. He was actually one of the few guys who could spin and mix that was....well.....vanilla without cheesy ice. He's not rock and roll anything. He does make a lot of money and he has an image to maintain. Still won't drink the beer. I prefer my cheap German imports and cider ales.