Same Sex Marriages and GLBT Rights

I was watching the VP Debate the other night and I was very excited when Gwen Ifill brought up the subject of granting rights to same-sex couples. I was thrilled when Senator Biden gave this answer.

Absolutely. Do I support granting same-sex benefits? Absolutely positively. Look, in an Obama-Biden administration, there will be absolutely no distinction from a constitutional standpoint or a legal standpoint between a same-sex and a heterosexual couple.

The fact of the matter is that under the Constitution we should be granted -- same-sex couples should be able to have visitation rights in the hospitals, joint ownership of property, life insurance policies, et cetera. That's only fair.

It's what the Constitution calls for. And so we do support it. We do support making sure that committed couples in a same-sex marriage are guaranteed the same constitutional benefits as it relates to their property rights, their rights of visitation, their rights to insurance, their rights of ownership as heterosexual couples do.

Even Governor Palin gave a fairly palatable answer, saying that while she did not support same-sex marriages she was tolerant of adults choosing whomever they want for a partner.

But then this happened:

IFILL: Let's try to avoid nuance, Senator. Do you support gay marriage?

BIDEN: No. Barack Obama nor I support redefining from a civil side what constitutes marriage. We do not support that. That is basically the decision to be able to be able to be left to faiths and people who practice their faiths the determination what you call it.

And I felt sick.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

What is the problem with an adult marrying another consenting adult? Who cares what gender they are?

I have hear argument after argument about how allowing gay couples civil unions that were exactly the same is fair but I disagree.

How is separate but equal fair? Wasn't this level of segregation covered in Brown v. Board of Education? Why shouldn't same-sex couple be allowed to have a marriage license?

Don't even get me started on the "straight people can have a religious ceremony and gay people can be joined by law and not in the church" because I have been to same-sex commitment ceremonies in churches, wedding that were witnessed by family and friends in the eyes of God, and I have male/female friends that had a civil ceremony performed by a judge in a courthouse witnessed by a notary public and somehow the former doesn't count in the eyes of the law and the latter is a marriage.

I feel like some straight people somehow feel their own marriage in marginalized by same-sex marriages but I can't understand it. How could two people who are committed to each other have any affect on you? If you want to know what gives nuptials that no-so-fresh scent I would point you to Britney Spears and Jason Alexander and their 55 hour wedlock. I've had dates that have lasted longer than that. Hell,  I've had hangovers that have lasted longer than 55 hours.

You can accuse me of being a bed-wetting abortion-promoting pothead (I'm not really a bed-wetter or a pothead, I just got that phrase from the random Liberal Insult Generator.) but I believe with all of my being that it doesn't matter who you want to marry as long as they are an adult that is capable of making decisions for themselves. Two consenting adults should be allowed to get married. Period.

If this country insists on separating the two into marriages and civil unions then I want to trade in my marriage for the civil union. I don't feel that my vows to my husband have anything to do with God.

Hopefully soon (and I'd like to believe that it is generational and in 10 years we won't even need to have this discussion) Americans will get their heads out of their asses and understand that marriage should not be limited to one man and one woman. If it is the whole Bible thing that is bugging you, take a few minutes to research how many times that particular document has been re-translated to fit the views of the parties in power at the time and how much of the book you have on your shelf matches up with what Moses brought down from Mount Sinai. In the meantime I'll be over here drinking out of the colored water fountain.

Comments

[Sarahalyce]

I totally agree that all "marriages" should be legally considered civil unions. Equallity for all. Leave the concept of marriage for the churches to define and from a legal standpoint everyone should enter into civil unions. Hello separation of church and state...then again what do I know. I'm just a "neorotic Bible-bashing hypocrite" (I love that insult generator...we are talking hours of entertainment here. Woot!)

[Kathy]

I was really disappointed in Biden's answer, too, but I understand that unfortunately, too many Americans don't support gay rights and they vote. James beat me to it, but I think this sentence sums it up:

For any candidate to openly endorse gay marriage would be political suicide at this point.

[Annie]

I was also disappointed in Biden's answer, though not suprised. I think I understand his point about the government instituting civil unions, and faiths defining what "marriage" means for their congregations. And that argument would make sense if we lived in a society where only the religious people wanted to be married. But we don't. Currently, marriage is our cultural standard for a deeply committed relationship. When we only offer civil unions to same-sex couples, we aren't being just.

[heels]

Hear hear!

My husband and I had a wedding ceremony where we wrote our own vows, stood under beautiful oak trees, and had our best friend as the officiant... and then we signed legal papers 4 years later! Neither the government or religion really has any place in my marriage. It's not right that gender, not love or commitment, is what makes a difference.

Californians vote NO on removing same-sex couples' right to wed!

[wwbd]

Ditto!

[Amber]

Great post!!! I too felt that was a curve-ball in what otherwise seemed to be Political progress.

I agree whole-heartedly with your post & I can't wait for our generation to take over the government.... btw, my husband & I are totally down to demand a civil union.