The Reason for My Burning Hatred of Spencer Pratt Is Now Very Clear

I know, I know, I know...I'm going on about this nobody again. And really, does more virtual ink need to be spilled over this travesty of culture?

Well, yes. And I'll tell you why...

As I've said before, I've never really seen an episode of The Hills, so maybe what I'm about to say will come as a shock to none of you. I keep up with this shit via the brief recaps and video clips. And frankly, what I saw yesterday surpassed obnoxious and irritating and went straight to disturbing.

I should have seen red flags after his lunch with Heidi's mom, in which he called her, "my dear," and was just generally a smarmy douche. But it didn't click until I watched yesterday's clip, which shows Spencer interrupting a private conversation between Heidi and her sister: Spencer Pratt is emotionally abusing Heidi Montag.

No, he's not giving her black eyes or shoving her into walls, but the level of control that he wields over her, and her reaction to it, speaks volumes.

Watch for yourself. The scene in question starts at around 17:20

Now, Let's take this step-by-step:

- Heidi and her sister, Holly, are discussing the possibility of Heidi reconciling with ex-best-friend, Lauren Conrad.

- The conversation stops abruptly when Spencer walks and glares at them.

- Heidi avoids eye contact and looks afraid and Spencer demands to know what the two are discussing.

- Holly says that they were discussing the letter that Heidi wrote to Lauren and Heidi tries to downplay the fact that she was seeking reconciliation, knowing that Spencer will be PISSED to hear that.

- Spencer immediately accuses Heidi and Holly of keeping secrets from him and, you know, how DARE Heidi have a private conversation WITH HER SISTER ABOUT HER FRIEND.

- Holly tries to interject and Spencer makes it clear that she has no weight in the conversation that he is now having with Heidi about her dishonesty, going so far as to shush her.

- Holly explains that Spencer is the reason that Heidi and Lauren can't be friends, while Spencer tries to kill Holly with a look.

- Heidi gets all Stockholm Syndrome and says that Spencer is in fact not the reason, even though Lauren was very explicit that she will not be friends with Heidi so long as Spencer is in the picture.

- Spencer turns on the smugness and says that he thinks it's great that they're not friends, just like it will be great when he drives Heidi's mom and sister out of her life so he's free to control her without obstacles.

Seriously, if this isn't a classic case of emotional abuse, I don't know what is. His intentions to isolate Heidi from his naysayers are infuriatingly clear and she is brainwashed enough to think that she not only has to apologize for his behavior, but defend it, as well.

What's really icky about this whole thing? This is a "reality" show. Now, I know that it's somewhat staged since asking these people to be interesting on their own is a laughable prospect, but these are still real people. They are not playing characters. Spencer Pratt plays Spencer Pratt. And MTV is making money off of the fact that he is abusing his girlfriend. Is it really a positive career move to be labeled an abuser? Is that really an option now? If so, then this country and what it views as entertainment is sicker than I thought. It simply cannot be that a person who wishes to rise to fame on his own personality can do that by abusing a woman right in front of us. It simply CANNOT HAPPEN.

It just so happens that October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and I urge...no, I DEMAND that MTV address this issue. Being a manipulative, controlling, abusive asshole is not an acceptable path to stardom and MTV, being the big beneficiary of the lives of Montag and Pratt, has a serious responsibility to acknowledge what is going on here.

Sure, Heidi is the only person who can get herself out of this situation, but that doesn't mean that she doesn't need some guidance and support on the way.

Abuse is not entertaining. It is not a ratings generator. It is not an acceptable platform for advertisers to bank on without any kind of moral consideration. It is a serious fucking issue. MTV has an excellent opportunity to address what is going on and reach millions of young people who may be in the exact same situation.

Don't be a dick and ride Heidi's back all the way to the bank, MTV. Grow a pair and call this what it is.

Comments

[BaltimoreGal]

You know what? YES. Good call. Just because you can't go to jail for it doesn't mean that it isn't WRONG. It's not even entertaining anymore.

[sweetney]

oooh! I SMELL PETITION!

[Legitimate Beef]

I'd sign that petition. Well said!

[Suzy Q]

WORD.

I kinda feel sorry for Heidi because she is just too young and stupid to see how he's manipulating and controlling her. I've been there. Never again.

[Robyn G]

I'm with the others - this is a great post. I've never seen The Hills - I only know of Spencer's douchebagginess from what I read here. Now I'm REALLY glad I don't watch it, and wish nobody else did, either. As long as people do, MTV will continue to roll to the bank, cashing in on that poor, stupid girl's naivete. Disgusting.

[Amy H]

finally! Someone said it.

Would MTV continue filming if Spencer were beating the shit out of Heidi every night? No. They would step in and stop it from happening--at least that is what any decent human being would do. So why is it that they are ok with his emotional abuse? Because it doesn't leave external marks? Because it may not be as obvious? Please!

We all see what is happening and if MTV had any sense at all it would put a stop to filming it.

[BaltimoreGal]

It's funny (or not) because I just got an email from Avon's mark:

"Lauren Conrad will partner with mark in its first initiative, aimed at ending the cycle of dating abuse and violence...100% of the net proceeds from Lauren's Have A Heart Necklace will be donated to the Girls M.powerment Campaign."
http://shop.meetmark.com/shop/product.aspx?from=product.aspx&newdept=&s=MarkCustHTML1008mPowerment&c=Email&otc=markHaveaHeartNecklace&bnd=&pf_id=34507&level1_id=300&level2_id=469&pdept_id=487&dept_id=501

Irony.

[Amy H]

and! and!

the audience for this show is young teens-young women in their 20s (although I fall slightly outside of that...)

What are they teaching young girls about the way they deserve to be treated by showing this couple all the time? The impact is bigger than they realize.

[Kristen]

A-fucking-men!

[caleal]

Often this is the kind of thing women over look as abuse. In reality, true physical abuse comes after a long long of emotional and verbal incidents that fall through the cracks. When actually, physical violence starts, the woman is far closer to death than she ever realizes.

I applaud this post.

[caleal]

Wow there's a lot of typos in that that make me look like an idiot. Sorry. :)

[Vicky]

As a person who dated a douche like this for five years- and lost contact with my friends, etc- I totally agree. Each time I see him I think the same thing. I posted on it being Domestic Violence Awareness month last week- this post- though makes me want to post again and start something with this. We watch and it's sick and terribly sad. Are we going to wait until Heidi can't go to the store alone because she feels she incapable?

What's truly awful is that it starts out this way and then escalates further and further and as the case was with me it does turn physical and by then it is so ugly and insane you have no idea what reality is- be it a show or not.

Mtv needs to man up and stop making money off this f*cker.

[Heather B.]

I've always wanted a boyfriend to treat me like the dumbshit that I am and to publicly chastise me as if I'm a child and to admonish my family for having the nerve to speak. Ah, love!

Cannot stand them and you're right, they're setting a terrible example for young women who are probably in similar relationships and making them think that it's OK to be treated like that. It really isn't but Heidi doesn't strike me as the type to stand up for herself like ever. So she'll just continue to be pathetic and we'll continue to tsk, tsk her relationship and nothing will ever change until their contract with Viacom ends.

It's a shame.

[Snarky Amber]

kdiddy for president. Srsly, spot on.

[Jill]

I couldn't agree more. I've been calling this one for SOOOO long now- but it just seems to be getting worse! People always talk about how it's not really a reality show because so much of it is faked. If it was MTV's idea of good TV to fake this, then shame on them. Shame on them anyway for not seeing it like it is and addressing the problem.

[Barbara]

Great post. It says it all.

[JellyBean]

I certainly agree that Spencer's behavior is atrocious and abusive to Heidi. I 've only watched last season and this season. I've heard the rumors that this show is scripted. I am starting to believe that b/c of the new characters of Stephanie and Holly. I think the producers arranged for them to be in the show and created "conflictual" type storylines for them for ratings. I think Spencer is intentionally being an ass to Holly & her mom and they are in on the plot too. So, if it is scripted, then shame on MTV too for promoting an abusive relationship to impressionable young adults & teens.