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So...okay. I fully admit that I am stretching the definition of "pop culture" to ridiculous lengths here -- basically shoving that wacky, new-fangled "going green" trend under the pop culture umbrella, and keeping it there by threatening to poke you in the eye with said umbrella if you dare question me.

(NINE MONTHS PREGNANT. HUMOR ME.)

With a new baby on the way and a older child who just had a birthday, we've been getting a LOT of gifts. So nice! I love gifts! And nobody tells you that gifts for your kids can be just as awesome as gifts for yourself, because you can totally play with that bitching firetruck and build really cool Lego McMansions while your kids take naps. Suckers.

Most of these gifts arrive in the mail. Mostly through Amazon or various third-party sellers/partners of Amazon. And here is where I finally get to my damn point:

Any guesses as to what came in this box?

Answer: THIS. AND ONLY THIS.

That's 10 ounces of Play-Doh, people.

Sadly, this is ridiculously typical of the packages we've been receiving lately. This one is actually better than some, since at least they opted for mostly recyclable materials. But mostly we get huge (SERIOUSLY HUGE) boxes, jam-packed with tons of bubble and shrink-wrap...all for one tiny little baby-sized board book. And usually the sender orders more than a Play-Doh party pack or a single board book, but each item is coming from a different seller, with no way to combine shipping, so a simple gift of a couple small toys results in three or more gigantic boxes of trash. 

It's been explained to me, of course, that there's simply no incentive for companies to package responsibly -- it's cheaper to buy a ton of standard boxes and get a flat-rate shipping account. I imagine (if I were a real writer and like, contacted people for quotes and statements and shit before posting half-assed rants on my website) Amazon would wash their hands of the overpackaging craziness in the name of offering better selection and helping small businesses have a web retail presence and hey, if you give a shit about the environment it's up to YOU as the consumer to pay attention to whether everything in your shopping cart is coming from Amazon's warehouse or from four different sellers across the country. Online shopping is the new cultural norm, boxes and bubble wrap are the new shopping bags and tissue paper. Whattya gonna doboutit?

I mean, if it makes you feel better, go ahead and just assume that EVERYBODY recycles. Because OF COURSE THEY DO.

Call me a silly tree-hugging idealist though -- this seems like a really, really easy thing to fix, on par with switching to energy-saving light bulbs or buying unbleached paper towels. Sure, that one hallway light might be a little hospital glarey now, and honestly having the Seventh Generation paper towels out on my countertop actually makes me reach for a cloth dishrag most of the time instead because they sure as HELL ain't Brawny Tough, but hey. I'm doing the best that I can, and constantly looking for ways to improve and reduce our waste and footprint. I'd like to see online retailers do the same.

Um. The end. Now what kind of jeans is Katie Holmes wearing these days?

Comments

[solmaz]

Baby, yousofunny, i just want to recycle! (i already do, that was an attempted catcall)

[Linda]

Unfortunately, I DO take notice of companies' packaging and change my buying habits to reflect that. I struggle with bringing my own shopping bags, but I use those plastic bags I inadvertently collect as packing material if I MUST mail something, and even then I make sure the box is just big enough for what I'm sending. Sometimes I wish that I didn't have to go to all that footwork, but if I don't become the example I wish to see in the world, who's going to do it for me?

[Sils]

Amazon is actually pretty good about packaging, I get a lot of books that are shrink wrapped between 2 pieces of carboard when I order directly. There has to be a really big price discrepancy for me to order used at this point, just because of all of the extra shipping charges and the crazy packaging that comes along with ordering from their third party vendors.

Then again, I also threw my reusable grocery bags into the wash this weekend (and then ironed them) because I thought they looked dingy, so I'm pretty sure I am not on the normal end of the spectrum.

[Gail]

If I remember correctly there was a push in the 1980s or 1990s about using appropriate size boxes and actual popcorn as packing material. The stuff we eat, but without the butter and salt. The point being that it was natural and environmentally friendly. I wonder why that never caught on?

[Anon]

I recently discovered that you can take packing peanuts (those awful things that are terrible for the environment and a nightmare to throw away) to your local shipping store. They'll reuse them! After getting married, we brought no less than a dozen boxes to our UPS store.

[Karen]

I've seen those party packs of PlayDoh at my local ToysRUs. Even at the grocery store. It's probably cheaper to buy it whilst on a shopping trip anyway, find a package (or even wrap it in brown paper) and ship it from the post office.

I digress. I loathe Amazon, ever since they frakked with a purchase I made a couple of years ago (all I wanted was the Tolkien audio CD for my husband's present, and it took FOR FREAKIN' EVER to get to our house, and every time I clicked on the UPS tracking number it just said "Not there yet loser. Ha ha ha ha").

Super Saver Shipping is a scam. Not every item qualifies, so guess what, you often can't combine all your purchases into one box, thereby saving the packaging. Thppt. I'll continue to buy locally.

[Jen]

I've noticed the same thing lately, with wedding presents coming in. My friend ordered a bunch of our china stuff from [well-known department store] and it arrived in a fairly large box. Understandable, with the quantity of smaller boxes inside, plus the weight. A week or two later, the same store sent exactly 2 towels and 2 hand towels in an EVEN LARGER BOX. There was so much empty space, I could have climbed into it and sat down. Kind of. If I were skinnier.

[Shawnna]

I really wish companies would start using the starch-based packing peanuts. They are fully biodegradable and you can even eat them (although I wouldn't recommend it). Unfortunately, they weigh a bit more so shippers don't want to use them.

[norm]

Hear hear. I'm trying to get on the plastic-bags-are-loathesome bandwagon here (Go, Berkeley and SF: ban those f*ers!). But I still appreciate all efforts to reduce packaging of all forms.

[Linda]

Shawnna—We've used those peanuts and, my husband being the *ahem* adventurous eater he is, has eaten them. Lovely.

[Mother Musings]

That is a ridiculous amount of packaging for such a small item!!

[Cee]

Your welcome and sorry for the gift all at once...

[JennyW]

Thank you for bringing this up! Wasteful packaging drives me bananas, but at least my cat gets some enjoyment out of it. There are so many aspects of the "green movement" that are really simple & easy to do, I don't understand why people & companies are so reluctant to make changes that will benefit the planet and our childrens' future.