The 4th Beastie Boy

In November of 1985 I was crowned the Breakdancing Champion of Fruitport Middle School, not without some controversy. Even though the gymnasium erupted when I ended my performance with a front flip, breaking purists objected that I clinched with gymnastics. Chris Delaney was the only one of us capable of doing the windmill, but on that day in 1985 it was only good enough for 2nd place.

In January of 1986 Chris Delaney was killed by a car. I conceded. The windmill was dope.

In August of 1986, Chris Delaney's Mom took me & Dan Parker to see Run-DMC in Grand Rapids, Michigan. The crowd was warmed up by a crew of 3 rapping white kids drinking & pouring Budweisers all over each other. My 14-year-old jaw hit the floor.

In November of 1986, they released their first full length album. The cover had the tail end of an airplane on it. When you took it out of the cassette case and unfolded it, you discovered that the plane was actually crashed into a mountain. This image served as the objective correlative for my experience of the world in 1986.

22 years later, the 7th album by the Beastie Boys is getting ready to - ahem - LET ME CLEAR MY THROAT! KICK IT OVER HERE BABY POP! AND LET ALL THE FLY SKIMMIES FEEL THE BEAT Mmmmmmm DROPPPPPPP!

I don't know a damn thing about the T.I. or the Lil Wayne. My hair is getting salty. Young people pass me in the fast lane and laugh their asses off. I am out of the loop.

When I consider these facts in the context of writing for MamaPop, I hear Thom Yorke mutter: "No I don't belong here." But then I wonder if a Radiohead song sounding off to express my sense of not belonging doesn't indeed signal my belonging.

I'm informed by a former Pop Culture. I'm constantly amazed by the way I live with these things: music, books, movies, TV. I remember "literal" events with the same memory that remembers the plot of Star Wars. The Fruitport Middle School Breakdancing contest is like a scene from a TV show. Darth Vader is my Father. It becomes impossible to distinguish between elements of Pop Culture and my "real" life because Pop Culture figures are as real to me as my Real Life.   

When I heard that the Beasties had a new album in the can, I remembered that airplane and Chris Delaney. I remembered that little scratch at the beginning of Rhymin and Stealin that bursts into a slow funky drum beat and I was 14 and confused and ready for an auditory representation of my emotional landscape and mutinty on the bounty's what we're all about...

Some people are too smart for Pop Culture. I'm made of it.

Comments

[Katelin]

You have officially become one of my favorite writers.

[j3n]

You belong here. Where you don't belong is writing for Vibe.

[Emma]

I don't care that I have two small children and should probably be wearing mommy jeans. My best road trip music is always going to be the Beastie Boys, and I'll look like a complete ass singing and bum-jumping along as I drive.

[FM]

Dude, great post - I feel the same way on many levels, and I'm almost positive that there are a lot of people (who may not appreciate the Beasties) who can connect with your general sentiments even more than me...

.. Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves.. ALI BABA AND THE FORTY THIEVES!!!

[Kate]

Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego.

[Mrs. Jason]

My goal is to teach both my kids all the lyrics to Paul Revere by the time they are 10.

[ASH]

I followed a link here from Her Bad Mother & felt compelled to comment on your post. I went to FMS for half of 8th grade in 1985/6, and I remember this; I didn't know your friend, because I was new, and I think he was younger, but I remember the announcement in homeroom, and all the girls (but me) crying. (I can't remember the homeroom teacher's name, but I believe he taught English and had a little mustache.) It was just odd to read about it, by happenstance.

[Black Hockey Jesus]

OK my mind is officially blown. Did you have Mr. Vandertill?

[Robyn G]

Don't worry, Emma. You don't look like an ass to those of us who know what you're listening to - because we're listening too.

I've got a peg leg at the end of my stump-ah...

[Elizabeth]

BHJ, you went to school in Fruitport? Just wanted to wave hi from my house in Lansing, I grew up in Okemos and graduated from OHS in 1985. Dude.

And a Run-DMC show with the Beasties opening? AWESOME.

[sweetney]

you are one of us, dude. terrorist fist bump?

also, i was living in GR at that time. and i was mos def listening to License To Ill. PARALLEL LIVES MUCH?

INSANITY.