Dear Fred Phelps: Jesus Called and He Would Like You to Kindly Go *%&^ Yourself

Disclaimer: I apologize ahead of time for the hateful language that I use in this post.

You know Fred Phelps, right? He's a former lawyer, politician, the pastor of the Westboro Baptist Church, founder of the charmingly named godhatesfags.com and, most notably, a despicable human being.

I know it's wrong to wish for such things, but it would honestly be such a relief if some freak tectonic plate shift were to occur and swallow up Phelps and all of his followers.

I get frustrated with myself, because people like him are so obviously completely batshit (or engaged in some long-running, completely bizarre performance art), that it's really not worth the energy to be pissed at him. A grown person who seemingly hates everyone in the name of God and who uses phrases like "up the pooper" to illustrate his disdain for homosexuality is obviously to be briefly mocked and then thoroughly dismissed. I think it's fair to say that Phelps and his followers exist merely as cartoonish extremes and don't hold any significant sway over society or politics.

But it's just...you know there are people whose existence just fucking bums me out, and he's one of them.

The WBC's practice of protesting funerals, particularly those of veterans from the Iraq war for defending a country ruled by homosexuals, displays not only their mind-boggling, but impressive, leaps of logic, but what happens when you add the more self-righteous and disgusting brands of religion to a group of people who apparently carry the gene for utter douchebagginess and being so stupid and outrageous that they corner themselves into irrelevance.

So I guess it comes as no surprise that Phelps and the WBC plan to picket the funeral of Madelyn Payne Dunham, aka Barack Obama's grandmother.

You know...whatever. Yeah, it's their first ammendment right to do shit like this. And it's my first ammendment right to say that I sincerely hope they all die of dystentary. I may not be the most patriotic person ever, and, yeah, I have some radical ideas, and, no, I am not a fan of any organized religion, but I have nothing but vitriol for people who are so fucking disgusting that they are compelled to call attention to themselves while people are mourning the loss of their loved ones. Seriously. Just fucking die already.

Comments

[Sils]

It makes me sad, how much I hate him.

Like, I actually think it's poison to me to think the things I think about him and his fellow hateful people. I wish I could be like the Amish and try to look past things like this and focus on the good and the power of good, but I can't he totally overwhelms all of my senses with hate. I think that's what I hate most of all, that he inspires the same level of illogical hate in me for him that he has for others. Ugh.

[makyo]

i'm not even going to comment on the ridiculousness of phelps and his "church" because my head might explode. i just think that no matter how much you might disagree with people's opinions or decisions, protesting at a funeral is just WRONG. it's rude and disrespectful to the family and to the memory of the person who has passed.

[Lori]

His "church" was going to try to protest (protest WHAT exactly, i can't figure out) at the funeral of a young man brutally murdered this past summer in Manitoba, Canada. Supposedly the fact that Canada allows gay marriage was the reason for this? or? the squirrels in the heads of the "church" members? or...

This brand of "belief" makes me (as a Christian) sick with grief for the people who will be affected by it and just plain sick.

[Tricina]

I have a really hard time understanding how someone could be so cruel to everyone who is slightly different from them. The passing of Proposition 8 was frustrating and sad, but this makes me livid. Leave that family alone to say goodbye in peace! Hate is so contagious.

[Katie]

The thing I find most disgusting about Phelps' protests is that the clan's children are often at the funerals, holding the same revolting signs and chanting the same stomach-turning catchphrases as the adults. It makes me physically ill. People like that don't deserve to be parents, and children deserve to be raised in a fashion that does not incubate hate.

[Amie]

The man and his group disgust me to no end. I just try to take solace in the thought tha, when he dies (which won't be long, old man, laugh it up while you still can) he's probably going to have one hell of a protest at his own funeral. At least I *hope* so.

[ivymae]

Do you know about the Patriot Guard? http://www.patriotguard.org/

They have blocked the Phelps protesters many times, and they give me hope for humanity. For every asshole who buys Phelps hate, there is someone willing to stand up and (peacefully) shield families from that sickness.

[~Jenn]

This is awful. These people are scum; I've had to protect children's eyes from their "God Hates Fags" signs at LGBT events; the kids don't need to see that crap.

Sometimes the Phelpses don't show up after they've threatened to .. if the service is in Hawaii, they might not spend the $$ to fly there. But if it's in Kansas, yikes.

[ND]

I comfort myself by dreaming that when I am in Hell, I will, in addition to my own suffrerings, be allowed to increase the suffering of Fred Phelps and his merry band of batshit insane fuckdick assholes.

[Robyn]

I absolutely hate that this guy has ever been associated with any sort of church or Christian/Baptist organization. This is NOT how Christians act. This guy is NOT a Christian. His is coming, trust me.

[rebecca]

Ridiculous.
as someone who IS religious, I am heartbroken over people like the members of WBC. What happened to 'God is love'? My God doesn't hate, that I know.

[Issa]

Picketing a funeral, that is fucked up. If I believed in hell, which I don't, there'd be a special place for people like this.

[Anne]

I am ashamed to say that this man is from my hometown of Topeka, KS. My parents, who attend a liberal church in Topeka, have been accosted by Phelps' people on more than one occasion. I am saddened that there are people in this world so full of hate as Fred Phelps and his family.

[jennifer]

ND - you are too funny.

and, Ivymae, i thought of the Patriot Guard too. hopefully their love and integrity will negate the hatred of "Fred Phelps and his merry band of batshit insane fuckdick assholes."

[kristy]

The ONLY thing that keeps me from wishing he would die is that MAYBE his crazy, hate-filled, bullshit will make the "more moderate" anti-gay crowd feel ashamed and eventually rethink their position. It's a stretch, but helps to keep me from filling my own heart with hate for him and thus sinking to his level.

[Shelley in Winnipeg, dManitoba, Canada]

Those dingbats were going to come up here and "protest" at the funeral for Tim McLean, a young man who was murdered on a Greyhound bus without provocation. Luckily, they were stopped at the border. Nobody needs that kind of crazy, especially not when they're already mourning. Assholes.

[Robyn G]

These batshits also claimed they were coming to my small town in MD to protest at the funeral of a teenager who died in a car crash, who didn't even have anything to do with their disgusting agenda (yeah, I know much of what they protest doesn't). The town went nuts - the police were out in force to stop them. They never showed.

[Katharama]

I lived in Kansas for the first 26 years of my life, and twice attended events picketed by this jackass - a Nine Inch Nails concert, and the display of the AIDS quilt at my college. I fully expect his funeral to be picketed whenever he finally gets kicked off of the living plane, but that almost saddens me, because no one should be stooping to his level.

[Hey You]

ATTENTION WORLD: This man and his followers do not represent the norm of Christianity. I can't believe we read the same bible, because mine teaches Love, Grace, and Forgiveness.

[Jen]

Remember these are the same kind of "people" like Sarah Palin, sadistic monsters who believe being "Christian" means doing 100% the OPPOSITE of what the Biblical Jesus supposedly said and taught. Doesn't that make them ANTI-christs not "Christians"? Theirs is a Hate Group plain and simple, when will the government quit protecting these knuckle-dragging vermin under the false guise of "religion"? If they are a "religion, so is the KKK and neo-Nazis, I mean what's the difference. I'm no Christian but I can READ and this isn't from any Christ. What book are they reading? Oh I forgot, savages like this can't read!

[Heidi]

I don't want to start a religious riot, but I have to respond to Hey You and the idea that this man does not represent the norm of Christianity.

I agree that most Christians (most people in general) find what Fred Phelps *does* despicable. It is horrifying to picket funerals, to torment families who are grieving.

But I think many Christians (and sadly many people in general) agree with what Phelps *believes*: that homosexuality is wrong and a sin. In this way, I think he is representative of the norm of Christianity.

This is the core problem with belief in a text that not only contradicts itself but is open to a variety of interpretations.(See here www.religioustolerance.org/hom_bibl.htm
for an interesting discussion of the different ways religious conservatives and religious liberals interpret the same Biblical passages.)

I am not a Christian and I find Phelps to be a reprehensible human being. I am grateful for Christians like Hey You who find love, grace, and forgiveness in the Bible.

[jacki]

From the song "Fuck Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church" by I Can Lick Any Sonofabitch in the House:

"If God hates fags, you asshole, I'm sure he hates you more!"

[sweetney]

yeah. this is the kind of shit that makes me feel like i don't know whether to cry or go on a cross-country killing spree.

[sweetney]

yeah. this is the kind of shit that makes me feel like i don't know whether to cry or go on a cross-country killing spree.

[Katie Kat]

Unfortunately I live just 20 minutes outside the town where this nutbag jackass and his inbred family live. It's amazing to me that he is STILL out there spreading his particular brand of crazy and hatred. But he somehow has a certain amount of luck and "power" for keeping people from effectively shutting him down (mostly things like intimidation and finding loopholes in legal avenues).

He's an abomination. The only good thing is that as time goes by and the world becomes more compassionate, he is becoming obsolete and a mere charicature of himself. He will no doubt soon be just an ugly footnote in the history of hatred and intollerance.

As for the Bible teaching "love, grace and forgiveness" and God not hating? Ummmm, you might want to take a closer look at those declarations. The Bible is FULL of instances where God is hateful and vengeful and murders people for no good reason, other than his own agenda. Just sayin'.