Sheikh Suing Jacko For Millions He No Longer Has

AAAAAHHHHH!

Oh, Michael, will your days on CourtTV never end?

Just when you thought he'd finally faded into obscurity, or Bahrain (same thing), never to (allegedly) diddle preteens again (in the U.S.), The King of Pop is back in the news as the defendant in a $7M lawsuit. Michael Jackson is being sued by Sheikh Abdulla bin Hamad Al Khalifa, who alleges that Jackson was paid the money to record a new album and write an autobiography, neither of which have materialized.

We all know that money is long gone, right? Jackson moved to Bahrain after his trial, where he probably used a large portion of the funds to build a castle out of gingerbread, lollipops and chocolate bars. He then likely spent the rest of the cash finishing the art project that is his face.

The way I see it, the sheikh would have been out $7M regardless of what Michael did with it. No one who has heard the atrocity that is Invincible would buy it, no matter how much they love Thriller. And people might read the autobiography, like on a couch in a hidden nook of Barnes & Noble before surreptitiously returning it to its display, but they weren't gonna actually pay money for it. I say dude should cut his losses and save himself the court and lawyer fees, because I doubt Jacko has two pennies to rub together.

'Sorry, honorable Sheikh! I spent your money on candy for children and facial mutilations! Can I interest you in the royalty rights to 'Beat It' instead?"

Actually, Jackson asserts that the money was a gift, which seems like a lot of generosity to extend to a man who aspires to look like Peter Pan and was twice-accused of molesting children, even if you're totally BFF. However, Jacko was not in court yesterday as the trial opened, so his full side of the story hasn't been brought to light. I would promise to keep you posted, but am savvy enough to realize you probably care as much as I do right now, which is just enough to make fun of him, shake my head, and move on.

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