Five Reasons You Should Encourage Your Daughter* To Read/See Twilight

So there's this vampire movie? And it's opening tomorrow? And, like, it's based on this book that's like part of a four-book series and it's about this vampire? Who's like a nice vampire? And he falls in love with this girl and she falls in love with him and it's, like, SO AWESOME.

Seriously.

I'm not going to claim to anybody that the Twilight series is high literature. It's not high literature, by any stretch, unless you happen to consider the works of Dan Brown as high literature, in which case you've probably already read Twilight sixteen times and made notes in the margins with your National Treasure commemorative ballpoint pen, and, also, could I interest you in a library of leather-bound works by Ken Follet?

What Twilight is is excellent storytelling that taps into the human-all-too-human desire to experience love epically, in that awe-inspiring way that inspires, well, love stories. It's storytelling of the variety that one might expect if the gods gathered up Judy Blume, Jane Austen, the Sweet Valley High writers, the writers behind Buffy the Vampire Slayer and also, maybe, Mary Shelley and the Brothers Grimm and wrung them all together to make word soup. (Not Shakespeare. I've never understood the Shakespeare comparisons. Edward and Bella are not Romeo and Juliet. They're not kept apart by interfamilial tension. They're kept apart by species difference, and maybe a little class distance, which is another story for another time. Sure, people die - people start out dead - and suicide is threatened at one or two points, but really. NOT SHAKESPEARE.)

Twilight is good shit, and not just because it's entertaining (although it is that). It's also good for you, and good for your kids. You should encourage them to read it/see it. And if you don't have kids, you should read it/see it for yourself. Here's why:

1) Bella is a good role model.

When Breaking Dawn was released this summer, a flurry of articles hit the Internet about how Bella was a poor feminist role model, what with her mooning over Edward and her inability to kick ass like Buffy and all. Those arguments are bogus. It's not anti- or un-feminist to fall in love (more on this below), nor is it anti- or un-feminist to not be able to drop kick the undead. Bella is a strong female character precisely because of her vulnerabilities: she's Everygirl. She's clumsy and an unremarkable student; she's angsty and stubborn and prone to whining about bullshitty things like rain and unwelcome attention from douchey boys. Which is to say: she is just like most girls. The thing is, none of these things make her any less compelling. She's not a superstar, but she shines as a character because she's smart and loving and loyal and kind and determined and independent-minded and has great taste in trucks. She does her own thing, follows her own lights, and is all the better for it. She proves that you don't have to be The Chosen One to be remarkable. Who wouldn't want their daughters (or their sons for that matter) to follow that example?

2) The story characterizes love as empowering.

Love makes both Bella and Edward better people. It strengthens Edward's resolve to be a 'good' vampire and encourages him in his restraint. It encourages Bella, in the literal sense that it gives her courage: it makes her brave and daring in ways that it seems she wouldn't be otherwise. It compels both of them to look beyond their own, self-limiting worlds and reach outward. It teaches both of them the rewards of self-sacrifice (in sometimes excessive ways, sure, but this is fiction.) They are both made better through loving each other, which is exactly the kind of love that I want my children to aim for.

(Okay, maybe I don't want them to consider becoming undead for love, nor do I want them to battle - as Bella does - homicidal monsters on my behalf, but still. The intent is good.)

Sure, love makes Bella a little moony and Edward a little emo - okay, a lot moony and a lot emo - but hello? Were you ever a teenager? THAT'S WHAT LOVE DOES TO TEENAGERS. It's scientific fact. Even Buffy and Angel made moon-eyes at each other and got all angsty. And after all is said and done, Edward and Bella move beyond making CDs for each other and get down to the business of saving each other's lives and encouraging each other to transcend their limitations and all sorts of other stuff that rinses the taste of Spencer and Heidi right out of your pop-culture-coated mouth and allows you to believe, for a moment, in the transformative power of young love.

3) Further to #2: the story sets the bar really freaking high for choosing romantic partners, in a good way.

Much has been said about the fact that Edward is an impossibly perfect guy, that there's something problematic in the fact that he defies reality in his awesomeness, inasmuch as no girl (or boy) is ever, in real life, going to find someone like that to fall in love with. A related argument holds that the story perpetuates the insidious idea that we should only fall in love with amazing people. Here's a news flash: I want my kids to hold out for amazing people. Obviously, there aren't a lot of sparkly, do-gooding vampires out there, so odds are slim that my kids will ever find some perfect, Edward-like creature (nor would I necessarily want them too. After all, vampire), but still: they can hold out for someone who is unswervingly loyal, someone who is kind, someone who strives to be good, someone who treats them with respect, someone who wants the best for them, someone who loves them dearly and passionately. (Maybe not someone who floats outside their bedroom window at night, but I could maybe live with that if that person floated nicely and didn't slobber on the windows.)

Someone like Edward. Or Jacob (*cough*). You know, if they weren't, respectively, a vampire and a werewolf.

4) The story underscores the idea that love (and friendship) can transcend difference and that, yes, we can just all get along.

Edward is a vampire. Bella is not. As Jacob reminds Bella constantly (and somewhat hypocritically) Edward is pretty much a different species. He's a MONSTER. And to those people who don't know that he's a monster, he's still different enough that everybody keeps their distance from and his family and look upon them with suspicion. But Bella doesn't: she looks past his monsterness and ignores the differences that seem to divide them and falls in love, and, at the end of the day (at the end of the books) even the most dramatic differences are overcome and (spoiler alert) everyone lives in a sort of inter-species harmony. That's a good lesson, no?

Just because someone is a monster doesn't make them bad. Grover and Cookie Monster taught me that. Edward and his family just underscore the lesson, and it's a lesson worth teaching.

5) The story demonstrates, convincingly, that love is not just about sex, and that abstinence can be erotic.

Holy shit is abstinence ever freaking erotic in these books. You ever want to convince your kids that they do not need to have sex to be turned on and/or to bond physically with another human being, you just hand them these books. SERIOUSLY. WAITING IS HOT.

6) EDWARD NOM NOM NOM.

That was a bonus reason.

Now go see that movie.

*Or your son, if he's into it.

Comments

[Kristabella]

I so agree with number 3! (Well, I agree with all of them but #3 is why I love these books so much.)

I'm single, have no kids, but I want a love like Edward and Bella's. I want a man who is that in love with me like Edward loves Bella. And we should ALL want that for ourselves and our children (or friends or family or for EVERYONE!)

[FM]

This was great. I haven't read the book yet. Only read the synopsis, what I get through osmosis from my wife and daughter, and all the Edward gushing here. However:

As the father of 3 girls.. I hope my daughter's eventually settle down with a person who embodies what you wrote..

"Someone who is unswervingly loyal, someone who is kind, someone who strives to be good, someone who treats them with respect, someone who loves them dearly and passionately."

Personally, I don't sparkle. Maybe my eyes shine when I'm happy or excited (or really sleepy). I think the most important of those things is the striving to be all those things.

You forgot the reason #7 to get your daughter's to read the book. You can use them as an excuse to see the movie again and again. Ha

[the ex]

I haven't read the books but uhm there's no sex? LAME.

(oh wait, they're supposed to be for teenagers right?)

[Redneck Mommy]

I'm dragging my daughter (and son) out of afternoon class tomorrow just so they can see this movie with me tomorrow.

I consider it my parental duty and way more important than fourth period band or math or whatever.

[Her Bad Mother]

The Ex - trust me, even without sex, it's pretty, erm, stimulating, But if you need the sex, there's always the True Blood series... ;)

[Karen]

We all already know that I love you and that on a different but equal note that I love the Twilight series, but now...I love this post. Thanks for giving me a url to give my friends when I can't explain, what you just explained for me. So um...thanks and all.

[Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas]

This was a great post. I totally agree. I also loved that Bella really has a conscience re: her parents that she trys hard to listen to. She goes to great effort not to lie to people, and doesn't like fudging the truth.

[Terri]

Thank you so much for this post! I find myself constantly defending Twilight against book/lit snobs (I'm an English major, so I suppose I'm throwing stones from my mighty glass house.... hmmm...).
I keep telling people that just because Twilight isn't high lit (and you're right, it's not) doesn't mean it isn't VALID literature. Anything that gets the "young adult" market to step away from the computer screen or give their texting thumbs a rest and actually READ something for enjoyment is amazing and deserves medals and parades and confetti.
I love Shakespeare, and Chaucer, but if teenagers are "bitten" (shameless pun! oh dear!) by the reading bug because of Twilight than so be it!
P.S.: Oh yeah, Team Edward... he is just yum-o.

[Lori]

I'm reading the series currently, and no, it's not "high lit" but I can see the value in the books. I'm not an Edward fan (sorry) but I do really appreciate all the points you made above. That is what I want in a future husband but I'm lucky in that I had an example of that kind of human man in my Dad (well, not the vampire parts, but the rest of it).

I just hope my bratz loving niece will pick up these books (or similar) when she is of age, rather than just get sucked into the vortex of skimpy/skanky teen idols.

[Katie]

Don't forget that it fosters creativity! As a geek I say that, something that put out as much fanfiction as Twilight has, is worth the read!
FF staves off the hunger that develops whilst I wait for S. Meyer to pick back up on Midnight Sun! It saves me.
On that note, there are plenty of vampire sex filled stories from the readers who wanted all the details of their honeymoon! I've read a bunch.

[Sils]

Okay, I loved these books as much as the next person but I really, really, REALLY (add about a million more reallys) have a hard time accepting that this is a healthy relatioship for anyone, let alone a teenager, to be having. Her relationship with Edward is borderline obsessive and to come degree she surrenders her entire life and personality to become a part of his world.

Great fantasy romance? Yes. Great basis for a real relationship? No.

[Her Bad Mother]

Sils - neither is his vampirism a good quality in a romantic partner: the relationship is *literally* unhealthy. BUT: as I suggest, the over-the-topness of it is completely understandable from the point of view of adolescence. Teenagers get borderline obsessive in their attachments - they FEEL very intensely (I did, anyway: OH MY GOD THE POETRY) - but at least in Bella's case she falls in love with a really good guy.

But in any case - of course it's not a good model for a real relationship. But neither are Romeo and Juliet. It's extreme, and can really only live in the realm of fiction.

[Sils]

Her Bad Mother, I know. I just feel like it's one of those books where the parent needs to sit down and say, all after school special like, "Hey, I totally know what it's like to go through this..." Because it is totally what 13 year old love feels like, and reading these books brought all of that heart pounding, aching frenzy back for a lot of us (testimony to their popularity).

It just scares the hell out of me that I ever felt like that, and that teenagers feel like that, and that the characters in this book wound up married and indulging in it for the rest of their lives. You could say I have a love/hate relationship with the books for this reason.

[NotAGirl]

Sorry, no. They're terribly written books, and I read them just to make sure, and there's no way. Good article, though.

[Olivia]

Encourage your daughters, sure. But what age?
My friend's nine year old brought home Eclipse from the school library. My friend sent it back, saying it's inappropriate. (kissing scenes, etc.) Is she too young for this series?

[Her Bad Mother]

Olivia - Nine is too young, in my opinion. But then, I wouldn't presume to tell a parent what age is appropriate for *their* kid. But I think of them as books for more mature young adults - not tweens.

[design mom]

I love every point you made, Catherine. The idea of Edward, a vampire, striving to be good, is what interested me in picking up the books in the first place.

How wonderful to have a character that's taken the harder road (fought against his instincts to drink human blood) in an attempt to do the right thing. And then shown to be ultimately happier for it.

I think that idea is pretty true to life. And I hope it's a lesson my children learn early.

[Vanessa]

Awesome Awesome post, I am sending it to everyone i know ;)

[Holly Buchanan]

I read the book, and while I can't say it was my favorite, I LOVED the fact that the characters have this erotic relationship with no sex in sight.

Too many movies, TV shows, books, etc. featured love stories where the couple either sleeps together the first night, or they go for a long time with nothing, THEN they sleep together.

Whatever happened to kissing? Why does it always have to be portrayed as just a stepping stone to get to the next base?

Kissing can be erotic - by itself - and I think the book sends a wonderful message to that effect. Wish more "grown-up" books took that approach as well.

Great post.

[Kristy]

Thank you Catherine. I JUST had this conversation - point by exact point - with someone yesterday. This English major also doesn't consider these books to be "high lit" either, but the story is compelling and works on multiple levels - all of which were already discussed here.

The other point I made - with regard to the movie - is that I find it interesting that a movie which probably has its flaws and is worth of some criticsm will likely be no worse than the bulk of the fare at our movies year-round and specifically ALL SUMMER that are unabashedly marketed to teenage boys and young men in their twenties. A vast majority of those films are complete and utter crap with vapid role models and horrible plots and dialogue and yet little fuss is ever made of that fact. I have no problem with movies being created for fun and escapism, but if we're going to go to the trouble of creating them - why can't we make an effort to make something that might appeal more to the young girls in the world?

[Her Bad Mother]

EXCELLENT point, Kristy - there's probably some latent sexism in the fact that Twilight gets the extra-close and critical examination, but Transformers/Batman/whatever doesn't. People bitch about how Twilight promotes obsessive love - but you don't hear much about how Batman (arguably) glorifies/makes fascinating homicidal mania.

I smell a follow-up post...

[MWAS]

Love #4 about Grover and Cookie Monster!

[Katybeth]

This is a "why not" movie for girls, its fun, and its romantic...and hey they are reading.. but after seeing it today--nothing much beyond that. I think that as a mom I would suggest that leaving your family for immortality is really dumb even for a hot vampire, and as some of old married ladies will acknowledge...Till death to you part is long enough, honey.

[karma_musings]

You are funny girl :-) I especially like #6 for humor value. And I really like #3, all the positive values Edward embodies.

I just saw flick on Fri, finished 1st book yesterday - and for once liked flick better than movie. More concise, succinct, didn't really leave out anything majorly important...

[Rachel]

Exactly.

A-freakin'-men.