The MySpace Trial: A Primer (Or Why You Should Not Cyber-Bully Children)

Here's the thing, I'm a big freakin' dork, most lawyers are.  And I'm an even bigger dork, because I'm a dork with a blog.  And I get obsessed with trials, and my current obsession is with the MySpace cyber-bullying trial.  Everyone at some point in their life has been bullied.  Even if you were the coolest kid in school, at one point in your life someone was mean to you.  So how a parent can be that mean to a kid?  Well, I will just never get it.

But, I'm getting ahead of myself.  For those of you who have either been living under a rock or do not read every bit of legal news, other than what I write on this site of course, here's the run down.

A 13 year old girl, Megan Meier, thought she was talking to a 16 year old boy on MySpace.  For six weeks he was all sweetness and flattery. And then one day, as suddenly as it had all started, he began trashing her online.  In his last message he told her, "the world would be a better place without you." A few hours later, a distraught Megan, who suffered from depression, committed suicide by hanging herself with a belt in her bedroom.

In the months after the suicide Megan's parents tried to reach the boy, who they believed was named Josh Evans.  They discovered there was no Josh.  Josh was a hoax.  But to add insult to an amazing injury, the hoax was not perpetuated by a teenager, as one would expect.  It was a neighborhood mother, Lori Drew, whose own daughter had had a falling out with Megan.  She apparently bragged about this behavior to other people in the neighborhood, who never thought it was appropriate to tell Megan's parents.  I hope they are real happy with the outcome.  It takes a village people.

Lori Drew's trial began this week.  She is on trial for one count of conspiracy and three counts of accessing computers without authorization. Each count carries a potential sentence of five years in prison.  She is essentially on trial for breaking MySpace's rules, not for killing someone or causing someone's suicide.  Law and Order: SVU did a special "ripped from the headlines" episode about this case.  The defense attorneys reminded the jurors in opening statements that this was not a homicide case, this was about hacking.

The Judge initially was not going to allow evidence of the suicide in, since the charges are not directly related to it, but he changed his mind.  "It's impossible to get a jury that doesn't know," said the Judge, who instead suggested attorneys focus on finding jurors not unduly influenced by what they might already know about the case.

Megan's mom, Tina Meier, testified yesterday that Megan had suffered from depression and attention deficit disorder, was on medication, and had previously attempted suicide.  She told the jury her daughter was not supposed to be online when she was she not home.  The day of the incident she took her younger daughter to the orthodontist and when she called to see how Megan was doing, she was crying. "Josh" and two other girls were saying mean things about her.  When she came home Megan showed her what was being said.  She said she told her daughter that she wasn't supposed to be online without her being there.  "The last words she said to me were 'you are supposed to be my mom, you are supposed to be on my side'." 

Megan's mom found her 20 minutes later after she hung herself.  She died the next day.

There is an expression in the law "you take your victim as you find them."  For example, you hit a woman with a bad back with your car, well, you have to deal with the injuries that result.  You emotionally torture a teenage girl with mental health issues, same principle applies.  I can't speak to this particular hacking case, but I'm pretty sure that the parents have a damn good civil law suit for intentional inflection of emotional distress on their hands.  It will never bring them their daughter back, but I hope they take Lori Drew for all she is worth.  Bullying stopped being funny in the 7th grade.

A foundation has been set up in Megan's name to combat cyber-bullying.

source, source, source

Comments

[Liana]

In my opinion, bullying was NEVER funny.

In all other ways, I TOTALLY agree with this post. This story broke my heart when it first came out.
That woman's actions disgust me beyond measure. In my opinion, even if Megan HADN'T previously had mental-health issues, Lori would still be COMPLETELY responsible for the outcome of the bullying.

I hope she gets a LOT of jail-time.

[Marmite Breath]

Oh my God, that is absolutely horrible! I hope that woman gets what's coming to her!

[Isabel Kallman]

This stoy breaks my heart over and over.

I wrote not too long ago about cyberbullying but not this case. You know what we need to be aware of as well as parents:

1- children who IRL would never bully become more likely online because they cannot SEE the victim's reaction so they don't take it seriously.

2- cyberbullying extends beyond online to mobile texting and will continue to do so as technology becomes more pervasive.

Here's my post:
http://www.alphamom.com/mmb/2008/10/cyberbullying_what_to_you_need.php

Isabel

[chatty cricket]

As a mother, this makes me sick. As a HUMAN BEING I just cannot comprehend.

I'm positive that there is a special place in hell for Lori Drew, along with all of the other child abusers.

[JayMonster]

It bugs me that (often) defendants can find ways to twist laws to suit their own needs, but that they couldn't find more ways to add to the indictment of this despicable woman.

Even if you could possibly put aside the outcome, or the fact that the child had depression issues to begin with, this is a parent doing this to a child. It shouldn't matter the method (cyber) she used, she showed a clear disregard for human life and reckless endangerment of a child.

(Yes, I realize I am throwing around terms that may not actually apply, I am not an attorney, but if these laws don't actually apply in this case... THEY SHOULD!)

[Barbara]

As a person who has been a bully (Oh, was I ever mean in 2-5th grade), and a person who WAS bullied in 9th, I can say this who mess sucks. What gets me is how this mother who bullied this teenager could do this to her daughter. Did she ever stop to consider that her daughter is going to bear the burden of her mother's actions? No, of course not. This mother got caught up in being "cool" with her teenager.

As for the people who never stepped in, it seems to be our current culture. Parent's are always more concerned with OVER stepping and are starting to do less.

[Kim]

As a mother who lost two of her daughters a year ago as a result of a senseless, reckless and preventable act, I know the anger and pain that Megan's parents are feeling. Losing a child isn't easy no matter the circumstance, but for it to have resulted from such blatant idiocy - it's sickening.

I agree with Jaymonster, it is sad that the prosecution was limited on what they could use to charge Drew. I applaud the judge for denying the defense's motion to keep the word "suicide" from the jury.

Hopefully, the media coverage alone should, at a minimum, prompt Myspace and other social websites to implement new guidelines.

As long as we have the internet, cyberbullies will exist. We can only pray that this case is the last we will ever see.

[jenniferjen]

as usual jodi, great though-provoking post.
i just don't understand what kind of effing wackadoos our society produces, i.e., lori drew.
my niece was on the receiving end of some cyber-bulling and it is incredulous how mean and hurtful teenage girls can be.
but a grown-up? a mother? someone who not only is supposed to know better and be above this garbage but is shaping the lives of her children? i just can't get my head around it.
kim is right; hopefully this case will prompt some changes, or at least increase awareness of this new form of bullying, and bullying in general. it's serious stuff.

[DianaCLT]

Kim - my heart goes out to you. I cannot imagine the pain you have felt since losing your daughters.

I've seen Lori Drew in interviews - she seems completely oblivious to her actions having the reaction it did Megan Meier - and the reaction it continues to draw from the public. Even in interviews, to me, she came off as a bully... Perhaps a few years (hopefully a LOT of years) behind bars will wake her ass up, but I suspect she'll just develop a "poor widdle me" attitude and develop further resentment at the people who "did this" to HER. Egads.

[Dana]

It's even worse as our governor here wrote a "cyber-bullying" law in response to the case, something that many of us feels abridges free speech. They legislatively over-reacted.

Drew should get her ass kicked. Unreal - picking on a kid past the point of breaking.

[Danielle-lee]

This story kills me. It is just so insanely sad. The mom must have so much guilt over those being her daughter's last words to her. so sad.
And Lori? There's a special place in hell for her.

[Kristie]

I was told about this post from a friend and I thank you for writing about Megan. I'm related to Megan and I remember the day I heard she had died. My Grandma still sends me updates whenever she gets new information. I hope that horrible excuse for a mother gets the maximum time.

[indycitygirl]

Kristie and Kim,I am so,so sorry for your tragic losses.I as a mom cannot even begin to understand how this monster can look at herself in the mirror.I so hope she gets her ass kicked on a daily basis in jail.I hope she has to stay in jail for life as her little joke cost a life so she should have to give up hers.I am outraged that a so called adult thought this taunting and namecalling was ok.I guess it taught her kid its ok to be an asshole,lying sack of shit.Sorry for the mouth but damn,thats just unreal

[Suzy Q]

Kristie and Kim, my heart goes out to both of you and your families.

I hope Lori Drew gets what she deserves (jail time) and that her children somehow learn from this, as she apparently hasn't. What a horrible tragedy.

[Karina in T.O]

I used to be a fat kid, with big glasses, who got whooped on one year, not only the first day or school, but the second day of school too, and ya bullies, need a little of their own damn medicine as far as I'm concerned...which brings me to this...

Jesus! This case just makes me so angry!! That a grown woman, can do this to a kid! A kid! She knew what she was doing, and seems oblivious -still, that it was so totally off base. I think one of the excuses she used in an interview a while back was that she wanted to find out if Megan was talking trash about her kid.

I'm still in shock the first attempt at a case against her didn't happen. It's a shame they couldn't bring a wrongful death suit (or something!). Considering this woman was a 'friend' of the family for years and knew this girl had emotional issues and was on medication etc. I don't see how what she did was any different that bullying Megan in person and giving her a bottle of pills on the way out of the room.

I don't care if they have to get her ass on tax-evasion or RECO or traffic tickets, or something, she simply needs to go to jail, and stay there, to finally realize the depth of saddness and damage she has caused to the Meyer family.