Barkley, Dillon, and That Guy From Trading Spaces Make It A DUI Hat Trick

Happy New Year everyone! And I DO hope everyone drove safely and RESPONSIBLY last night. Which celebs didn't even wait till New Year's Eve to get their drunk fool asses behind the wheel? We have THREE this week, and I am HOPPING MAD. With ALL CAPS, even.

Seriously, when are these people going to learn how to CALL A CAB, ALREADY?

Matt Dillon, Charles Barkley, and Doug "The Mean One Who Wasn't Hildi" Wilson from Trading Spaces were ALL arrested in the past week for DUI. Thankfully, nay, MIRACULOUSLY, no one was hurt in any of the incidents, but having to add three more "celebs" (cause this list is stretching it a bit) to the endless list of Hollywood types getting plastered and zipping down Sunset has me nearly fried banana chips insane with rage.

Driving under the influence is RAMPANT in America, and since we all hear about celebrities that do it, and THAT list is obscenely long, just imagine how many non-celebrities there are out there slamming back seven margaritas and hopping into their Chevys. But that, although heinous, is not my point.

My point is that so few, SO FEW celebrities are actually tried and convicted of DUIs that perhaps it has become an unwritten understanding that if you have even a modicum of fame, you are exempt from driving laws. Insane. Horrible. INFURIATING. And here's another thing, celebs:

You have MONEY. We KNOW you have money. We know that even Doug "I Purposely Made Ugly Rooms, Haha" Wilson has SOME dough. CALL A CAR. Don't want the stigma of pouring yourself into a yellow cab outside of the bar? Call a NICE car. I would rather see a starlet flashing her girly bits climbing into a towncar than see her Mercedes wrapped around a tree, or heavens forbid, a TODDLER. You have enough money to pay your lawyer to get you out of drunk driving charges? You have enough to call someone to PICK YOU THE HELL UP.

We rag on celebs for their clothes, for their career choices, for their romantic entanglements, and I am as guilty and as happy to do that as the next betch, but driving under the influence? I don't care if you're an A-list actor or my upstairs neighbor. Call a cab, asshole. Seriously.

Comments

[atheists eat fish]

I recently had to go to traffic school for oing a California stop. The instructor told us that the average cost of a DUI incuding fines, driving school, court fees, and raised insurance is an average of $15,000.
For some one reason, this is not common knowledge. Seriously, call a cab people. It is way cheaper, regardless of how far you have to go. BTW, a second conviction of DUI can run you upwards of $40,000.

[christina]

hmmm, I thought Matt Dillon was only arrested for speeding. According to The Smoking Gun he was arrested in Vermont for being clocked going 106 on I-91. Still horrible, but at least he wasn't drunk too.

[LauraJT77]

I HATE that doug guy from trading spaces. You know that on one episode he went into the girls underwear drawer and blew up some private pictures she took with her husband and hung them over their fireplace. THe couple was obviosly upset and embarassed. He is such a perv.