Big Love Recap!

Oh, man. I am having such a hard time keeping my eyes open this morning, mostly due to the sheer excitement of last night. My dear Steelers are going to the Super Bowl. Plus, the third season of Big Love premiered, plus The United States of Tara premiered, plus the second season of The Secret Diary of a Call Girl premiered. However, due to the aforementioned Steeler game, I only got to see Big Love.

Anyway, let's get recapping, shall we? I've missed this show so much!

Previously on Big Love...Kelly realizes that she should have watched the last few episodes before diving into the third season, because what is all this stuff they're talking about?

Morning at one of the Henrickson's houses. It is, of course, chaotic. Bill is playing with new baby Nell and Nicki is getting ready for her first day at her new job. Bill coos at Nell over the sound of all of the other kids in the background and turns to Nicki to baby-talk ask her if she's going to provide the next bundle of joy. Nicki, despite being the go-to fundamentalist in the house, gives him a look like, "Are you high?" Barb tries to get Nicki pumped about her new job and Nicki blah-blahs about being responsible and paying off her debts and how naked she feels in a v-neck. Barb seems more distracted and forlorn than usual and we quickly find out it's because she has to go to the doctor for some pretty serious-looking tests. Uh oh.

Bill listens to some motivational tapes in the car on his way to a meeting with Don and a guy named Jerry. The tapes instruct him to repeat money-making phrases like, "I am a magnet to money." Dang. Even fictional tv characters are feeling the economic pinch and turning to The Secret. Bill needs to psych himself up for his meeting with Jerry, who owns some Native American reservation casinos. Bill and Don want to team up with him to create a Mormon-friendly casino in Idaho. Don tries to butter him up by pointing out that a Mormon casino won't have the typical casino problems of hookers, showgirls, and meth labs. Bill is all, "Shut up, Don." Jerry promises to think on it, but seems to have trouble swallowing the idea of a G-rated casino since they're, like, kind of supposed to be dens of sin.

Roman thankfully (?) appears to have fully recovered but he is rotting away in jail. He freaks out when his lawyers tell him that he's being charged with rape (or something very close to it) based on the testimonies of a bunch of Jane Does. Adaleen assures him that his lawyers are very good; they even worked for Ronald Reagan. Upon hearing of their credentials, Roman wails, "Why has everyone forsaken me?" Adaleen also reports that Alby has pretty much taken over Juniper Creek, moved into the big house and everything. Roman promises that the heavenly father will "crush that bastard."

Bill is at Ana's house! He helps her with some home repair issue and she tries to convince him to do the dirty-dirty, but Bill insists that they have to be married.

Frightening Alby and his equally frightening wife Lura are settling in nicely at the big house and Roman's office. They're both enjoying the power trip so much, Lura orders around one of the younger sister wives and Alby instructs helpers what to do with Roman's hats and mounted deer heads. I can practically hear the strains of Phil Collins' "Coming in the Air Tonight" in the background. I've been waiting for this moment for all my life...

Barb is on the phone with her doctor and it doesn't sound so good. He's talking about removing nodes and stuff, which definitely makes Barb turn pale, but he tries to be reassuring and says that this is why they have check-ups.

The goofy neighbors from down the street, the ones who Barb unexpectedly came out to at the end of last season, pop in to say hi and ask if all of the Henricksons are planning to attend the upcoming block party. They only ask because they got their weird map of the neighborhood from church and Nicki's house is greyed out. Plus! Some other dude has volunteered to man the hot dog cart! "But Bill's the hot dog man!" cries Barb. Hehehe, I bet he is. Ahem.

Nicki is, of course, completely freaking out over the map, certain that everyone knows that she's Roman's daughter and, more importantly, that the neighbors have spilled the beans about all of their Home Pluses. Bill points out that they've all been slipping up on being secretive, borrowing cars and whatnot, and they need to tighten operations.

Later, Barb takes some time alone to confront her cancer, telling it, "I give you no sanctuary. I give you no permission." It's a pretty powerful scene and, uh, kinda makes me cry a little.

Nicki and Bill are in bed watching the news, which says "it's all polygamy all the time." There have been a bunch of arrests, Roman's being the most noteworthy, and they give some details of the crimes he's accused of, namely trafficking young girls across state lines. Ick. Bill makes Nicki promise to stay out of the trial and she offers to stay home from the block party. "I understand that you might have to send me away," she mopes. Bill does not say, "Never in a million years would I send you away, my darling Nicki, light of my life, total non-pain-in-the-ass, fiscally responsible wife," but instead says that that's the worst case scenario. Nicki's like, "Uh, that's comforting."

Barb shows up at Ana's, all ready to take charge of her life and, presumably, her afterlife since that whole matter seems a lot more pressing now. Ana's like, "O hai. Ur husband is nice." Barb gets down to brass tacks and let me tell you any time someone starts a conversation with a sentence like, "What has Bill told you about our religion?" I start looking for the nearest exit. Barb breaks it down for Ana, about how, if she marries Bill, she marries all of them and they spend eternity together in the afterlife. Ana briefly considers eternity with Barb, Margene, and Nicki. She tells Barb, "Do not want," and that Bill knows this, essentially making her relationship a fling more than anything else. Ana leaves as the flesh melts off of Barb's face. Barb calls Bill and tells him what fer, while Margene calls Ana and sounds really frantic. What the hell is she up to?

Nicki has a weird whispered conversation with some woman at her job. Turns out she's working at the district attorney's office. Hmm...

Bill gets in his car and is surprised to find a disheveled boy in the back seat. The kid, it turns out, is Frankie and one of Bill's brothers. Frankie has been kicked out of Juniper Creek, just like Bill was, for having the audacity to have a crush on a girl his own age. Silly Frankie. Young girls are for creepy old dudes like your dad! Frankie tells Bill that his mom and siblings need him. Bill agrees to take Frankie to Juniper Creek and try to get him back with his family.

Ben drags Teeny into the kitchen and orders her to tell Barb and Margene what just happened. Poor, sweet Teeny was kicked out of her friend's house after her parents told her she was a bad influence. This only adds fuel to their suspicions that the air-headed neighbors have exposed them. Barb and Bill march over to the neighbor's house and bang on the door to no answer.

Barb, Margene, and Nicki have their meeting and they discuss upcoming expenses and the block party. Barb tells Nicki that they'll have to cancel the roofer that's supposed to go to her house and Nicki snots that while they're at the block party, she'll stay home and roof. Barb also brings up the possibility of marrying Ana, which causes something of a shitstorm. Nicki whines that they can't afford her roofer but they're going to take on a new wife, but then glares at Margene and says that they can use a new wife anyway. Sarah overhears this discussion and wants to know if they've all lost their minds, but stomps off saying, "Fine, get a fourth wife. And a fifth and a sixth and a seventh..." I kind of love Sarah.

Lois and Wanda discuss a parrot of Wanda's, which is apparently very valuable. Wanda doesn't seem...stable. Like, at all. Bill arrives at Juniper Creek with Frankie and stops at Joey's to see if he knows what the deal is. While Joey's trying to explain the convoluted series of events (Joey's new wife, Kathy, and her twin sister, Jodean, were both sealed to this dude named Ron, who died, and Frank claimed Jodean thinking it was Kathy and Alby sealed Frank to Jodean and then my head exploded), Lois pops out to give Bill shit for not taking over the UEB when he had the chance and ridding everyone of the Grants for good. Bill asks Joey how he can live within a hundred miles of Lois. Very good question, Bill.

Bill takes Frankie to his house, where he tearfully embraces his mom. Frank is as disgusting as ever, accusing Frankie of eying a girl marked for one of his grody old cronies and being too friendly with Jodean. Frankie apologizes but Frank won't let him return. Bill drives Frankie away and promises to help him, but Frankie jumps out of the car and takes off.

Nicki is at home, sewing, when she spots some shadows lurking about her house. They've TP'ed the whole house and the tree, leading me to wonder how long they were out there and, uh, why Nicki didn't notice them sooner. Bill arrives home and Nicki tells him to get away, but Bill stays and helps Nicki clean up.

Alby lurks around at a gas station and signals to another driver with his brake lights. They head to the bathroom to have illicit buttsecks, but it turns out to be a professional hit. The guy tries to drown Alby in the sink, but Alby is saved by some kids who randomly walk in. Alby is sure that Bill is behind the attack, but Nicki assures him it wasn't them.

Heather picks Sarah up to go to work and wants to know if Sarah got her acceptance letter to University of Utah yet. Sarah has and Heather is over the moon, but Sarah sadly tells her that she's applied to out-of-state schools because she doesn't want to stay in Utah. Heather is crushed. As much as I hate the evil Rhonda, I think she may have been right about Heather's feelings for Sarah.

Bill and Margene meet with Jerry and his wife, Ladonna. While Jerry might be all business, Ladonna takes the opportunity to grill them about polygamy and points out that their Book of Mormon describes Native Americans as dark-skinned and cursed. Margene stutters out a Native-American phrase she's learned and Bill looks at her in horror. But Ladonna is suitably impressed and it looks like the Mormon-friendly casino might be a go.

Despite receiving a Book of Mormon from Margene, Ana is still not sold on the whole plural marriage thing. But when Bill stops by again, she finally seduces him. Bill is wracked with guilt and returns home to Barb and Margene. They know where he's been, but he informs them that it's over between him and Ana.

Nicki stops by Adaleen's camper and thanks her for the fake ID pieces she got for her. Turns out Nicki's job is at the district attorney's office and she's working under Margene's name. Oh, dear. She gives Adaleen the names of two of the Jane Does in Roman's case. They discuss Alby's recent attack, and Adaleen hints that she was behind it and knew about Alby's little habits.

At the block party, all of the Henricksons are on the defensive, certain that everyone knows about their marriage. Bill starts to get into it with one of the neighbors and Barb starts to argue with the mom who kicked Teeny out, saying that if she has a problem with their family she can go ahead and reveal it. The mom insists that it's not their family, but Teeny specifically, who has been charging her kids money to look at dirty magazines. Barb, shocked, replies, "Is that all?" which is really not the answer the mom was expecting. Barb notices that Bill is about to tell off their other neighbor for being prejudiced against polygamists and stops him just in time. Nicki, who is, in fact, roofing, stands up and tells the neighborhood that she is Roman Grant's daughter and the Henricksons helped her to leave the compound and that they should all be kind to them. Nice save, Nicki! As the Henricksons acknowledge their close call, Ana shows up. On their terms.

Dun dun DUNNNNN!

Gah, sorry if this recap is kind of flurried, but what a jam-packed episode, no?

Comments

[Erin]

Yay! So glad to have Big Love back! Even more glad to have your awesome recaps back! Looks like it's going to be one hell of a season!

[jodifur]

I love Big Love but don't get HBO so I'm not reading this until they episodes come out on DVD, a whole year from now!

My husband is ecstatic over the Steelers in the superbowl!

[AmyC65]

I watched the first 2 seasons on DVD awhile ago and now am way behind. But I have always had this burning question - why the h*ll did a polygamist move his harem into a suburban neighborhood? Why couldn't he just stay in the boonies and build a big mansion and a fence? I feel like alot of the premises and problems on this show draw from this really bewildering decision they all made. Has anyone ever explained this, that maybe I missed?

[JennC]

Congrats on your Steelers win. My Iggles, alas, were not so lucky.

RE:United States of Tara; Love, love, loves it. Toni Collette is totally my new gf.

[Rhonda]

Yay!! I have been missing Big Love and coming over here to read your recaps. You always do a great job. I love this series and the characters. It looks like it will be a doozy. Adalene and Lois are such psychos but they do make me laugh everytime they are on the screen. Wonder how long it's going to take Lois to sell that parrot!

[Kate]

Thank you, thank you! We canceled HBO, TWoP doesn't do recaps of the show anymore, and I cannot possibly wait a whole year to catch up. Hurrah!

[MiniHipster.com]

Bring on more Big Love!! Love Love the Big Love! thanks for the re cap, the season hasnt started in Australia yet, so i am now even more excited!
http://minihipster.com/