Friday Eye Candy: Snarky Amber's Queer Eye Candy

Howdy, y'all! Catherine bestowed upon me the honor of bringing you this week's Friday Eye Candy. Truly I mulled over what my theme would be forever. After all, I'm married, and therefore I don't really look at other people or think about them, y'know, that way, and ...  oh shit! BRB, my pants are on fire.

Okay, I'm back!

Naw, like many of you I am married, but neither dead nor blind to the charms of others. Finally, I decided that, because I myself identify as queer, I would do a little spread of the queer celebs that make me hot under the collar.

The Ladies:

Ellen and Portia

Of course, I find them both ridiculously beautiful in different ways on their own, but as a couple, they're exponentially hotter. The way they look at each other, with love, passion and mutual respect, makes me gush. And there ain't nothin' sexier than love.

Rachel Maddow

Rhodes Scholar? Check.
Unapologetic nerd? Check?
Liberal? Check?
ADORABLE? Double check. Rachel Maddow is the absolute complete package of brains, sense of humor, endearing quirkiness, and good looks.

Amanda Palmer

The lead singer of the Dresden Dolls describes her style of music as cabaret punk. Two great tastes that perfectly showcase her amazing, throaty voice, which can tremble or roar on command, as well as her mad piano skills and fierce personality. On top of her unique talent and beauty, she's also totally hardcore. When her label wouldn't promote her video because she didn't adhere to their ridiculous standards of beauty, she told them to take a flying leap. And then she leaped straight into my crush zone.

Elvira Kurt

There is nothing sexier than making me laugh, and Elvira Kurt does it in spades. She's one of my favorite comics, the sort that can make you cry from laughing so hard. And she's also one hot fellagirly.

Sarah Paulson

She has a certain grace. I don't really know what it is about her, but she's the sort of girl-next-door queer crush.  I've liked her since the short-lived American Gothic, and really wish one of the TV shows she stars in would not get canceled so I can see more of her.

The Gents:

Rami Kashou

Not only is he disarmingly good looking, but he can drape fabric on you until you look like Helen of Troy. Oh Rami, please come be my personal designer/cabana boy!

Anderson Cooper

Okay, so when asked if he was gay or straight, Anderson said he was a journalist. *snort* However, it's widely conjectured that he's gay, and while I am not in the business of outing people who aren't out, I am in the business of digging Anderson Cooper. He's smart, he's charming, he's funny as hell, and he doesn't even look *too* pathetic swimming next to Michael Phelps. He's also, as you can see, a silver-haired fox.

Rufus Wainwright

Rufus has the voice of an angel, and he's not bad looking either. He has a bad patch for a bit, doing the party drugs, wasting away and overproducing his albums, but he's looking fine these days, don't you think?

Ted Allen

I love a guy in Buddy Holly glasses. But even without the specs, Ted Allen is sexy — because he can cook. Better yet, he's a whiz at picking out the best bottle of wine for any occasion. Ted was just a low-level crush for me when he was with the Fab Five, but my crush for him has grown since his guest judging on shows such as Top Chef and Iron Chef America. He's now the host of my new favorite Food Network show, Food Detectives, which is like a cross between Good Eats and Mythbusters. He's so adorable, I want a pocket-sized Ted to come with me when I go wine shopping.

Neil Patrick Harris

Last but certainly not least. Of course, no FEC is ever truly complete without our MamaPop Gay Boyfriend, but I would especially remiss in excluding him from this special, queer edition. Oh Neil, how do we love thee? Let me count the ways. You're funny, down to earth, a fantastic singer and dancer, and have almost single-handedly proven that being gay doesn't mean losing great roles. Barney Stinson is by far one of the funniest television characters in recent history, and NPH's performances have garnered tons of nominations (sadly, as long as 30 Rock is on, he probably won't win). I love you Neil!

What was that? You need more Neil? Oh, I thought you'd never ask.

Comments

[jacki]

Rufus Wainwright! SQUEEEE! Do not want Want 1 or 2, but did I ever love Poses!

[Leslie in Toronto]

*Faint* ... *thud*.
I am in total gay-bf love with NPH. He makes my head happy.

[Jennelou]

Elvira Kurt is teh awesome.

=]

[Maria]

Mmmmmm, piles of sexy.

[Emily Jones]

MMM..Rachel Maddow does it for me every night at 6pm...
Hubby and I both have naughty fantasies about her...:-)

[DianaCLT]

When did NPH start looking like Luke Perry? Cuz he totally does in 1st pic, kinda does in the 3rd pic...and in the 2nd pic, one can spot a nummy taste of James Dean - and that ain't bad at all.

[Amber]

Diana,

Those photos are from a spread in OUT Magazine a few months ago; the issue was called "A Man's Man" or something, so I think the pictures were supposed to reflect that kind of macho cool guy. It definitely gets my blood pressure up. NPH is Tabasco hot.

[JennC]

Those last three pictures totally just made a crap ass Friday SO. MUCH. BETTER. Yum. Thanks!

[gray matter matters]

What? Ellen's gay? How could I have missed that?

[Sweetney]

Okay, the beer-swilling photo of NPH makes me feel all tingly and wrong. AND YET SO, SO RIGHT.

[Jason]

NPH is (as Barney Stinson would say) awesome. I think it's great that he's better at playing straight guys than most straight guys. Also I have a hetero-man-crush on him, hence the "NPH".

[BaltimoreGal]

Not so much Rami. But the NPH blows all the others away, no? I usually do not find gay guys attractive, since- hello- but WOW.

[LA]

Rachel.Maddow.

[Amy H]

"oh shit! BRB, my pants on fire."

I may have peed a little when I read that. so funny...

[Maxine Dangerous]

I love Elvira Kurt! And now I love Snarky Amber even more for including in this list the funniest fellagirly EVAR. :)

Also, NPH? Looking studriffic! Hubba. :D

[lackadaisical]

What about Robin Roberts? I love her...when is she going to come out and show up on this list?

[Karina in T.O]

Rachel Maddow = LOVE HER!!! She's adorable and bloody smart.

And as far as my boyfriend Anderson, I will cut a bitch up that gets in my way while I paw at Andy!!

[Accidental Housewife]

Bwah! I MISS lists for FEC! LOVES IT! (Too much with the CAPS??? Sorry, bad...) Is it weird that I love Jackie Warner? She makes me want to work out if you knooooowww what I mean *sly wink* (or you know, not so sly...)

[Amber]

Accidental Housewife,

It's not weird to love Jackie Warner if you can set aside how crazy and narcissistic she is. ;)

Believe me, I think she's totally hot, but there is something about her personality that makes me scream at my TV from time to time. It might be how she think she's a really great communicator in relationships and that the OTHER person is the problem, when she's actually kinda self-involved, jealous and passive aggressive.

So, in summation, I would totally "work out" with Jackie, but I could certainly never see myself dating her.

[indycitygirl]

NPH makes me feel so Mrs Robinson but i would hit it