January, the Month Many Celebs Call it Quits

I remember getting ready for a ski trip in early January 2005 when Brad and Jen announced their separation. I probably took it harder than the average fan, which is why I remember it so well, but also because I imagine their decision to announce their split immediately after the holidays was deliberate and much thought over. It seems a common Hollywood theme: get past the holidays and then give the respective publicists the green light to release a cliched statement. And that's the case for 2009 so far.

Jennifer Love Hewitt and her fiance, Band-of-Brothers actor Ross McCall, announced their break-up Monday after being engaged for more than a year and together for more than three.  The couple met on the set of her popular television show "Ghost Whisperer" and although there were no set wedding plans, Jennifer recently slimmed down (amidst some controversy) in preparation of her big day. A close source of the couple says "They're both really sad about this. . . . Everyone just wants the best for both of them."

In addition to Jennifer's split, Medium star Patricia Arquette and her husband of more than two years, Thomas Jane, have also called it quits. Arquette filed for divorce Monday citing the ever-vague "irreconcilable differences." The couple married in 2006 and have been together since 2001 and they have one daughter together, Harlow (aged five). Arquette is seeking sole physical and legal custody of their daughter. (As an aside, about a year ago, Jane was arrested for driving under the influence in March 2008.)

So two split announcements a week into 2009. Who will be next? I'm betting on Heidi and Spencer but perhaps that's simply WISHFUL THINKING.

Comments

[Elizabeth]

It is so sad that for some marriage has become so disposable. Especially in cases where there are children involved. Perhaps there is too much temptation out there that leads people to believe the grass is going to be greener somewhere else. It seems this is magnified for the rich and famous where there the financial hardship normally associated is negligible. In years past the community would rally around struggling couples to help them get through.

In our day, it seems that for some vows are hollow or people go in counting on the fact that it is not only acceptable, but it is half expected for people to bail out when the going gets rough.

Curious that on the heels of the season of hope, some people head for the hills.

My relationship struggled and had some very bleek times during the first ten years. We stuck it out, grew and learned about ourselves and we are stronger than ever. I have gone through some medical stuff recently that was made so much easier by my DH. When the kids were little I used to have struggle so much for time on my own away from them and him.

When times were tough I could not even imagine how great things are now. Our son and daughter are so much better for it too. I can only think that teaching them to stick to things and not give up when the going got tough was one of the best gifts we ever gave them.

Now I look forward to seeing the world with him when the nest is empty and his care as this not-so-young lady gets older.

Maybe if I was a celebrity or rich I would have quit. In this one instance I am glad I am not.

[jacki]

Dibs on Thomas Jane. Yeah I know, DUI and all, but look at him. Loved him since the movie "Thursday."

[Hilary]

Wow, I really enjoyed that comment, Elizabeth. It IS very sad how disposable marriage has become for some, as you said. I especially appreciate the lessons-to-your-children-portion. Very well said. Thanks.

[MWAS]

JLH needs Spanx (or a less snug dress) bless her heart. Seems trivial following the above heart felt comment, but I just had to say it.

[SaraR]

I DO love my Spanx and the illusion of my former physical perfection that it creates.

I hate to admit it but I'm also confident that none of my celebrity crushes would put up with my imperfections and mood swings for more than a month like my husband does.

When I remember his patience with me when I'm crazy or lazy, it makes it easier to chill out during the times he does mindless or annoying things that make me want to spit tacks or just up and go at it alone.

Loving each other especially when we go through periods of being seemingly unlovable... Isn't that one thing that makes a difference between relationships that succeed and fail?

Maybe the stars who can't help but have over-inflated senses of themselves lose sight of their own frailties and are less opt to keep working at it like us mere mortals. Maybe they don't feel like they need to and maybe they'll wind up having really messed up strung out kids that want to run from them!

I LOVES me my eye candy and my escapes but when I stop to take a long and truly loving look at the beautiful baby we brought into this crazy world and then the good but imperfect man I chose who chose me despite my own flaws, I know my still lovely too-kus belongs at home with them at the end of a hard day fighting a indifferent world.

I love my independence, but the really good experiences seem better when shared.

My husband doesn't mind my Internet addiction and we both enjoy some eye candy to stoke the flames.

Thanks to Mamapop I can have it all!

Is it me and my age or do the days seem tougher in this economy?

(my first post after lurking for months)

[FM]

All I can say to some of these posts is "Amen." because it eerily mirrors how I feel. I guess everybody goes through their own shit.

Now, I have to disconnect myself and escape into levity..

Jennifer Love Hewitt: I have had fun watching how they try to edit out your lowerhalf in the Ghost Whisperer.
I'm partial to nice round butts and I can not lie - but with her.. it's like impossibly comedic proportions.. that torso and hips on the same body.

[Jen]

Not arguing that marriage has become too disposable in many cases, but now that I am dealing with my marriage breaking up, I've found I become much more sympathetic. From the outside, my husband and I always appeared to have a great relationship as well. No one knows what goes into the decision to end a marriage, so it's hard for me to assume anyone is making the wrong choices. I'm glad to read the stories of people "sticking it out" but it's also good to acknowledge, I think, that sometimes that isn't a valid choice.

[FM]

@Jen - valid point.

At the end of the day, we can only look in the mirror and decide for ourselves. Sometimes those decisions can change from moment to moment. The only thing we can do, regardless if we are thinking about the past or the future is LIVE in the moment. We really have no choice. I used to spend a lot of time missing or making mistakes IN the moment because I was stuck worrying about how the past might affect the future!

Unfortunately, some people see themselves clearly and others don't. A year ago I wouldn't have seen the need for improvement IN MYSELF that I needed. I thought I was doing my best. Today though, I can look in the mirror and KNOW I've made personal strides as a dad, husband, son, and friend, but am also mindful that I can even improve a whole lot more. I hope I keep having the opportunity to do that with God's grace (letting me wake up every morning), and my wife's grace (letting me continue to be a real in-house Dad, and partner).

As for valid choices, sometimes people do not even realize the plethora of alternative choices they have that they can't even imagine or therefore explore.

I think most people wake up and think they are doing their best at the time with what's in front of them. All we can do each day, in the moment, is just that.