Recognize Women's Self-Empowerment Week By Continuing to be an Empowered Woman!

Hey betches, it's Women's Self-Empowerment Week! How are YOU going to celebrate? Perhaps you'll put extra hours in at work, perhaps you'll stay home with three sick kids, perhaps you'll have to forgo much-needed extra hours at work BECAUSE you're staying home with three sick kids. Some of us will think of our moms, our grandmothers, our crazy aunties who would, upon hearing about being self-empowered for a week, adjust their fabulous Sunday hats and say "And that's different from any other week HOW, sweetie?"

And that's the thing about dedicating weeks to things. They always seem like people, or ideals we should be celebrating every DAY, not just one week a year. Women's Self-Empowerment? Doesn't that define women every damn day of the year?

Why yes, I AM raising an eyebrow full of skepticism, thanks for asking!

I appreciate that it's called "SELF-empowerment." We're not looking for any applause and parades here (because face it, we'd never get either). We're looking inside ourselves for that ever-present "Hells YEAH, I work damn hard, DAMN hard, and that's because I am STRONG." But...But we KNOW this! It's SELF-empowerment! It's what keeps us going every day, not something we realize in the first full week of January with a big lightbulb above our heads that we'll probably have to replace anyway, because no one else seems to notice that it burned out three weeks ago.

And why is it celebrating self-empowerment when perhaps we'd just like a tip of the proverbial hat or maybe a RAISE or a day OFF once and a while, or just a society in which we don't NEED a week specifically to rev ourselves up about how gosh-darn keen we are because everyone already knows and acknowledges it. It seems to me like "Women's Self-Empowerment Week" is, at the core, patronizing and demeaning, as if someone is saying, "Oh, sweetie, just pat YOURSELF on the back and tell yourself you're a good girl because you just managed to do the job of three people while wearing heels."

Bullshit.

We don't NEED a self-empowerment week. We already ARE self-empowered, thank you, and maybe instead of rolling our eyes at this shit, as yours truly did, we should take the time to help other women who aren't feeling very self-empowered right now. Volunteer at a women's shelter or a women's clinic. Answer phones at a crisis line. Reach out to another woman who is having a hard time.

And PLEASE, if you're feeling like you are anything but empowered? Then this is the perfect motivator to reach out to another woman and ask for help, or a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to listen.

We're all empowered, dammit. And we help each other when we're not feeling that we can do it alone. We don't need no stinkin' week to tell us that. 

Comments

[Jen]

Well, I told my husband this week that I want a divorce. I'm feeling pretty damn empowered and I hope it continues!

[suzieQ]

I'm not judging you, but after reading beautiful posts yesterday about people sticking it out, I find it hard to join the cheering section.

[FM]

My favorite quote from Abraham Lincoln is.. "The best way to test a person's character is to given them power."

I'm with Miss Banshee, women AND men were already born with the power of choice - EVERYDAY.

What we do with it and how we wield it, that's what defines us. Right?

[Jen]

@suzieq I'm glad you're not judging me, because that's sure what it sounds like. I don't think empowerment and cheering are the same thing. Maybe my comment was a little light-hearted, and I didn't mean to imply it was going to be easy, but the freedom to get out of a bad situation is a choice a lot of women didn't always have and some feel like they still don't.

[suzieQ]

Jen,

I'm not a spring chicken and I've lived and seen those types of relationships you speak of. I am also sure there are still women out there who are trapped, especially in third world countries.

I'm sure there are times when the best choice for the couple or the safety of the children is divorce. (Unfettered drug, alcohol, gambling, hapless spending, battering, child molestation and infidelity that does not stop).

However, I have seen marriages that come back stronger even in some of these horrible instances. Sometimes all it took was for one or both of the partners to truly see the error of their ways and make the needed changes.

The key to this kind of growth and happiness isn't easy but it isn't too complicated either.

You are absolutely right about how in the past some people were trapped in very bad situations with no escape. My aunt was one of them.

I think it is fair to say there seems to be a backlash now where way too many people quit way too early. They actually go in with this mindset.

Someone else mentioned on another post about how there is less outside support for families that are struggling.

One one hand in the past there was pressure from everyone to stay and work on it. That's probably a bad thing if your situation is one of the above. However, it just seems that there isn't enough good pressure for couples that should be giving real effort and find livable solutions other than a bail out.

I'm not saying this is you. The whole celebrity thing sparked my original comment. Apparently, some people make the choice to get into or out of a marriage with the same whimsy as changing their living room layout.

When someone gets bored with their living room, one can paint the walls and move the furniture around instead of breaking the lease and getting another apartment.!

There are plenty of people who have quit simply because at the moment they were convinced they were not happy, or in love anymore, or because they thought they had found something better out there.

I personally do not think any of those are reasons for people to break life long commitments that will have huge effects on the lives of many people.

No one should feel trapped or unhappy. I think that if someone feels that way in the relationship it could just mean that is a lot of work to do or bad things to undo.

Only the person in the situation truly knows if they tried or they didn't.

This is my opinion from my experience on the state of things. I'm married 20 years and better for it.

When I first got married people who cheated on their spouses would feel the weight of their neighbors for their poor behavior.

Today, it is sadly accepted and there are websites to help married people cheat.

Isn't there something wrong with that picture?

That is probably another reason a lot of these instant celebrity couplings fail. They are used to getting what they want when they want it. If things start going astray they balk.

I wish you and your family the best.