What's Hot For 2009? Temper Tantrums!
Ah, the new year. Full of hope, and promise, and bills, and layoffs and corporate SCUM stealing money, and government CORRUPTION and it's enough to make you...MAKE YOU MAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!
Well, lucky for you (and me, she of the caps-lock addiction,) temper tantrums are now A-OK, even encouraged. According to the UK's Daily Mail, temper tantrums are a healthy resource for relieving stress and making your life a bit more pleasant.
Imagine my devilish grin right now. Go on.
WELL. This is the best news I've heard in quite some time, actually. Tantrums! Screeching, fist-pounding, raging, crying TANTRUMS. When's the last time you had a really good tantrum? The last time you took a deep breath and howled at the moon about all the unfairness in your life, in this country, in the world? Do you even remember how good it feels to ball your fists, hold your breath and stamp your feet in outrage?
It's fanTASTIC to think that this kind of deliciously self-indulgent behavior is now getting the thumbs up, especially from the Brits, who, let's face it, aren't exactly known for their raucous behavior, unless you count soccer hooligans. Let's look at the (hee) scientific facts that will support us the next time we fling ourselves on the copy room floor and start banging our fists.
'Releasing tension through shouting and screaming is a really beneficial way to expel the negative energies caused by stress,' said body language expert Judi James, the Big Brother psychologist.
WELL. If the "Big Brother psychologist" thinks throwing a tizzy is just dandy with her, then it's FINE WITH ME! And yes, she also says that going into a quiet room and taking deep breaths is a good stress reliever too, but come on. So would having unicorn glitter spew from my ears instead of SMOKE, but that's not going to happen either.
Of course, none of these "stress relief techniques" or "nervy spazzes" should ever be directed towards another person, and that's the beauty of it. Feel like throwing lit matches at your boss? Don't seethe about it, FLIP OUT ABOUT IT! Kids driving you out of your freaking mind? Scream into a pillow! BITE the pillow, shake it like a rabid tiger, just LET IT OUT. No one else gets hurt in the process, and you get to let that temper FLY.
After all, if the "Big Brother psychologist" says it's totes cool for you to hold your breath until you turn blue because the market was out of wasabi peas AGAIN, WTF!?!!? Who are we to argue?
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Somewhere, Kanye West is thumping out a blog post that says, THE GROCERY STORE IS OUT OF WASABI PEAS? WTF? I'M GONNA RANT ALL DAMN DAY BECAUSE NOW MY TANTRUMS ARE SANCTIONED, BABY!
PS) This here Brit is RAUCOUS as hell. Just not on Tuesdays.
Posted by: Marmite Breath | January 06, 2009 at 02:53 PM
I, for one, think this is EXCELLENT news. I should print this out and put it on DH's pillow. SEE!!! I can throw tantrums now! IS GOOD FOR ME!!!
Posted by: Snarky Amber | January 06, 2009 at 02:55 PM
Calvin! I have missed you!
Posted by: bd | January 07, 2009 at 01:52 PM
Calvin or the collector with a similar sounding name?
Posted by: FM | January 10, 2009 at 06:48 PM