Big Love Recap

You know what I just can't figure out about the Henricksons? Whenever life gets way too insane, instead of slowing down and taking it easy and attempting to simplify life, they add more stressful things into the mix. And not small things like, "Oh, my brother's wife is poisoning people. I think I'll reorganize the silverware to take my mind off of it." Big things...like a fourth wife, another baby or two, a second store, a new gambling business. Or, like this week, a 3,000 mile road trip with the whole fam damily.

But this isn't just any road trip. The Henricksons are on a pilgrimage to New York to bury their family time capsule on some sacred, historic spot and see a pageant about the Angel Moroni breaking it down for Joseph Smith. They're stopping along the way at various historic Mormon spots and reflecting on the struggles that their ancestors faced in trying to reach their Promised Land. At one of their stops, Barb reads some information from an index card, noting how many people died along the way, including many, many children. I can totally relate. This one time, in Oregon Trail, Mary died of dysentary, John was trampled by a buffalo, and Jenny...oh, Jenny drowned when we caulked the wagon and forded the river.

Ben and Sarah are driving in the caravan in Nicki's station wagon and I think, "Oh, man, there is no way that car is making it the whole way and back." Sarah notes that this journey is reminiscent of prisoners of war on a death march. Cheery!.

Barb and Bill are listening to some horrible music as they merrily drive along. Bill gets on the walkie talkie to Margene's car about their next stop and Margene calls Bill, "Big Daddy." Nicki and I both think about killing Margene and Nicki points out that it's a long trip and Margene should bring it down a notch.

At the motel, we see Margene unpacking the urn holding her mom's ashes. Bill is in the bathroom counting out his Viagra when he accidentally knocks them down the drain. Margene appears at the door and tells him how she wants to drop her mom off at a distant relative's house, which will require a 300-mile side trip. Bill is understandably distracted but Margene spies the pill bottle and suddenly Bill's secret is out. Margene understands and promises not to tell anyone and Bill believes her because he is stupid and apparently has never met Margene.

In another room, Nicki and Barb are getting some kids ready for bed when the DA calls Nicki's phone. Barb is perturbed that her supposedly former boss is calling her on vacation. Nicki, of course, has fed the DA some tale about going to Hawaii and he asks her how she's enjoying it. Nicki is visibly giggly when she peers out the motel window and sighs, "I've never been anywhere so beautiful in my life." Barb's like WTF? The next day, Nicki calls Wanda and tells her about the DA and asks Wanda, the relationship expert, if it sounds to her like the DA was flirting. Wanda runs a quick diagnostic and asks Nicki if the DA has chased her at night or tried to put her in a trunk, which I guess in Wanda's fucked up existence is the equivalent of first base. Nicki gets off the phone when she sees her sons playing with Margene's mom's ashes. Much screaming ensues.

Ben and Margene drive blissfully along and Ben tells the woman who is basically his mom that he really likes her hair. But like...REALLY likes it. Ugh.

In another car, Barb is trying to talk to Sarah about college and going shopping for supplies for her move to ASU. Sarah says that she and Heather have shopping plans, which is all news to Barb, especially the "Heather's going with me to ASU" part.

The Henricksons are at another stop on their pilgrimage, this time at the house where Joseph Smith was killed. One of the boys asks the guide about how many widows Smith left behind and the guide tries to brush past his question. Bill calls him out for leaving out an important part of Smith's life and another visitor tries to shut Bill down. Bill gives up and Ben is a little disappointed in Bill for not fighting back. Bill didn't want to get into it with the dude's family right there and besides...with all the Viagra gone, he doesn't need to waste energy.

At another hotel, Bill is exercising with some of the kids while Ben and Sarah lounge by the pool. Sarah finally admits to Ben that she's keeping her baby and I spontaneously break into, "Papa Don't Preach." But Ben doesn't hear me and preaches away to Sarah, especially when he points out that her partner in all this, Heather, still sleeps with a night light.

That night, Nicki steps out of the bathroom to greet Bill in a sexy nightgown. Bill tries to beg off but Nicki persists. Margene barges in wearing her bikini and it takes her way too long to realize what they're up to. She sits down next to Bill and pointedly asks him if she's being a pill. She decides to help things along by making out with Bill, much to Nicki's horror.

Later, Ben is naked and getting changed when Margene walks out of the bathroom, naked, post-shower. Margene runs away, horrified, while Ben grins dreamily. Dude STOP IT.

The next day, Barb starts to ask Ben about Margene and Ben looks slightly terrified until Barb goes on to ask him if she's said anything about her or Nicki being upset with Barb. Relieved, Ben practically shouts, "No, Mom, not at all!" Bill spies Wayne trying to get into the time capsule. Wayne explains that he doesn't want to bury his cowboy anymore. Bill tries to convince him through some talk of sacrifice, but I totally get where Wayne is coming from. Margene forces Sarah out of the car that Ben is driving so that they can talk. Margene babbles about how it's not a bad thing but it was just an accident and he shouldn't be embarrassed. Ben insists that he isn't embarrassed and Margene's like, "Oh good, because it's totally not a big deal, blah blah blah." But Ben's like, "It is a big deal. To me. And my wildly inappropriate boner."

At another historical stop, the wives discuss the logistics of the side trip and Barb declares that she's going to go along, much to Nicki and Margene's dismay. Barb huffs off and stops to bitch at Sarah for sleeping so much, obviously unaware that Sarah is in that first-trimester coma. Honestly, Sarah's holding it together pretty well. During my first trimester, I fell asleep any and everywhere and am honestly surprised I didn't accidentally drown myself in the shower. Margene reads some notes about the significance of the spot based on some information she got from Wikipedia. Ben pulls her aside and further creeps her out with talk of how they didn't plan it, but this just happened, "this" being this Oedipal escapade that Ben seems to be intent on. Bill is trying to gather everyone for a family picture and through his viewfinder sees a yawning and exhausted Sarah, a thoroughly creeped out Margene, and an unhappy Barb and Nicki. Cheese!

The wives head out on their side trip in silence. Barb tries to spark conversation by pointing out what she thinks is a pretty barn. Nicki replies, "It's. A. Barn. Barb." This sets things off and the three start to get into it, with Nicki accusing Margene's blonde hair of being trouble since it came out of the bottle, culminating in Margene trying to have a "menage a something" with Nicki and Bill. "Your hair does not give you license to act like a whore," she says. More bickering ensues with Margene finally blurting out that Bill takes Viagra and Nicki instantly assumes that Bill has to take them only on her nights. This is like National Lampoon's Mormon Vacation. All that's missing is them unwittingly dragging a dog to its death. Maybe they should have grabbed Frank before they left and tied him to the bumper.

Bill and Sarah are driving and talking about college and Sarah almost looks close to telling her dad everything. But Bill can sense that Sarah needs some extra attention and promises to take her to Chicago on their way back so they can spend some time together. Sarah is beyond thrilled and is nearly in tears. I want to hug Sarah.

The wives are at Margene's aunt and uncle's house. The aunt and uncle have ferrets, which...EW. Not surprisingly, they are not the warmest people alive and say some really horrible things about Margene's mom. Margene can't bear to leave her mom there. They meet up with Bill on a gaming boat where he's meeting with Jerry, his wife, and a booking agent (who was that main girl from the A-Group in Romy and Michele's High School Reunion) who claims to be Jim Neighbors' daughter. They get all atitter about the booking agent's ability to get acts like Tony Orlando and Tony Bennett to their casino and Bill's like, "OMG CAN YOU GET CHER?!?!? GYPSIES, TRAMPS AND THEIVES!" Margene expresses some doubt about the booking agent's lineage. Outside, the wives confront Bill about his little blue pills. Nicki flips out at him and Barb snots that she's pretty sure he didn't need the pills when it was just the two of them. Bill doesn't say anything but I can hear his penis protesting, "I'M OLD AND I HAVE THREE WIVES AND TWO BUSINESSES AND GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH."

Meanwhile, Teeny, who now only appears on the show to exhibit some weird or disturbing behavior, is talking to some dude in a robotic monotone about their faith. When Bill shows up to collect Teeny, the dude confronts Bill about their religion and how he's a Baptist and there's only one true gospel and blah blah blah this is exactly why I'm an agnostic because fuck conversations like this. Wayne whimpers to Nicki that that guy was scary and Nicki assures him that all Baptists are. Ben hands Margene a note and dude...seriously. A note? It's weird enough trying to hook up with your mom but using sixth grade tactics and, "I like you. Do you like me? Check 'yes' or 'no.' See you in study hall," maneuvers. Margene, distracted by all the incest, plops her mom's urn on top of the car. She, of course, starts to drive off and Ginger's urn crashes on the ground, scattering the ashes everywhere. Later, at the hotel, Bill baptizes Barb in honor of Ginger and as a symbol of how no matter how great our differences are, we're all together in eternity. It's a lovely gesture and Margene looks to feel a lot better.

The next day, Teeny goes in the glove compartment of Margene's car for her iPod and spots the note from Ben. ARGH. Bill gets all ragey about someone's juicebox spilled all over the time capsule. "This is a sacred vessel!" he yells. Margene tosses him a Handi-Wipe. Bill gets all crazed about how they need to get moving and there's no late seating at the pageant. He stomps into the bathroom to wash off the capsule while all of the wives and kids start getting into cars. Teeny tells Barb that she doesn't want Margene in their car. In all of the chaos, they leave without Bill, who doesn't have his phone, so he starts walking. He apparently gets picked up by a passing motorist and calls Nicki to let her know that he's furious, but okay. They're at a hotel tending to some carsick kids and Barb goes into one of the toiletry bags to find more medicine, but instead finds Nicki's birth control pills. Nicki's like, "Err...ahhh," but Barb wails about how could Sarah do this and Nicki's like, "OH YEAH TOTALLY SARAH WHAT THE EFF???"

Teeny goes to Margene's room to confront her and Margene insists that she's going to handle it. Margene goes and confronts Ben, who's all, "I have these feelings, I can't help it," but Margene reminds him that she loves him as a mother and KNOCK IT OFF CREEPAZOID.

Sarah goes to Barb's room after being summoned and Barb lays into her about the pills. Sarah insists that they're not hers, but when Barb starts yelling at her about having sex, Sarah breaks down and runs outside. Nicki goes after her, but Sarah's completely distraught. Bill gets dropped off by the Good Samaritan who picked him up and sees the scene unfolding. The wives and Bill gather in their room to discuss the fallen Sarah, but Nicki finally admits that they pills are hers. The spouses are PISSED, especially when Nicki tells them that she's been on them for four years because she "got addicted." Margene is especially pissed about having to have all the babies, but Nicki retorts that she doesn't want to have children with someone who has to take Viagra to sleep with her. Bill clenches his teeth and says that this is the lowest of all the low things that Nicki's ever done because she's undermined the future and the mission of this family. Ugh. I mean, I know that having as many children as they can is their thing but this whole situation is just so...messed up. Bill insists that they have to leave for the show

The family hikes up a hill to bury their time capsule. Bill offers up a prayer saying, "I don't know what we learned on this trip...something, I hope...besides the fact that I take Viagra and Nicki's on birth control and Sarah's pregnant and Ben has the hots for Margene and Teeny, I think, is poised to become a serial killer." Behind them, the pageant is starting. Bill sends the others ahead so that he can pray alone. He says that he hasn't found the Heavenly Father's presence anywhere on their trip and that he feels lost and forsaken.

Nicki wakes up in the middle of the night and hears Sarah crying in the bathroom. Sarah is having a miscarriage. On the drive home, Nicki tells Sarah that she has to tell Bill and Barb and that she'll be with her when she does. I think Nicki might be my favorite character on this show. Her antics are so ridiculous, but her interactions with the kids, especially Sarah, show such compassion. Anyway, Nicki dials the phone and we see Barb getting a shocked look on her face. The caravan stops and Barb and Bill get out of the car. Sarah looks scared for a minute, but her mom and dad simply embrace her as she sobs in their arms.

Comments

[cindy w]

I'm not sure what I thought about the episode overall, it was another one where it felt like they crammed 3 or 4 episodes into one. But that last scene with Sarah made me cry. A lot.

I think you summed it up perfectly with "National Lampoon's Mormon Vacation." Great recap.

[Rhonda]

I loved this episode! The part when Nicki said that all Baptist's are scary was a total classic. I thought it was kind of appropriate that Margene's mom's ashes’ broke at the gambling place. She probably would have liked that. I also liked how this show delved into some of the Mormon beliefs. The scene with Sarah at the end was heart breaking. And the scene were Bill was praying at the end looked like a good scene to submit to the Grammy board.

Great recap! I can't imagine how hard these are to write!

[Suziannie]

These recaps are fantastic! I don't have HBO anymore and was so disapointed that I was missing Big Love...but this is almost better than watching it!

[amalah]

I have been waiting for your recap all day. I am happy now, with my wildly inappropriate boner.

[Holly]

Calling this 'National Lampoon's Mormon Vacation' was hilarious and gave me a much needed laugh today. Thanks for that.

I felt so bad for Sarah and it was nice to see that Nicki was so compassionate. I have disliked Nicki in the past, but somehow love her this season. And, honestly, I'm hoping she makes it with the DA. It might not be such a great idea, but I feel like she needs to be with someone who just totally digs her. Everyone else seems to be judging and/or using her this season. I find myself rooting for her in just about every episode.

[veronica]

Was totally thinking "National Lampoon's Mormon Vacation" while watching the episode. And did anyone notice that the wife when they went to see Margene's relatives was Eddie's wife from the Vacation movies? Loved how there was a tie-in weather intentional or not!

I too am loving Niki - she can be such a royal bitch and a pain in the ass, but she does show that she truly loves her family. She could have gotten all preachy on Sarah's ass, but realized it wasn't the right thing to do. Am also glad that Bill and Barb realized that it wasn't the time for it then...you can have "that talk" later, what she needed right then was her family and their support which is what she got. Which is why I love this show in general...they're one big screwed up bunch, but still a family that loves each other :)

[clarabella]

I also ditto the great recap, and I was moved by the last scene with Sarah as well.
But can I just say how disappointed I was that Anna just . . . disappeared? Often, I feel like this show moves too fast, and this was one of those times. Last episode they married Anna, scared her off, and she asked for a divorce. And this episode, no one even mentions her name? I hope we revisit the Anna issue at least to end it at some point.

[Tina Nanez]

Great recap, thanks!
The show(s) have been pretty heavy lately! I was never a big fan of Nicki however she's becoming more interesting w/ this drama/attraction w/ the DA... and how can Bill not get a boner w/ her but can get one with Barb?

Poor Sarah, I felt bad for her too. :-(

Where the heck is Anna? Are they going to bring her back?

I knew Ben had a crush on Margene... they were always chummy chummy - it all started with the swimming pool episode last season (remember?)

Again, great recap! Thanks!

[DianaCLT]

Loved the recap...except...ferrets are so cute and sweet. Seriously. Give wuzzles a chance! They're just misunderstood. I had a couple and they are so lovable and entertaining. ;)

[WabiSabiLife]

The riverboat scene and some others were filmed in Old Sacramento. It's my old hometown, so that was extra excitement for me :) Yay!

[jacki]

OMG Oregon Trail! Never ford the river! This episode felt like the "We need to tie up all these storylines so we can get on with the season" episode.
I read the other day that 2 deaths, one of them really big, were going to be happening in March. Any thoughts on that?

[Suzy Q]

A rockin' good recap! I love this show.

I have to laugh, though, at your youth. It was Jim Nabors (not Neighbors) who that daughter-impersonator was referring to. Remember "Gomer Pyle"? Anyone? Bueller?

[C]

My husband pointed out that the Baptist dude was Mack from Night Court.