Big Love Recap (A Million Years Late)

What's up, party people? I'm sorry that this recap comes to you so late in the week. As I mentioned on Monday, I was preoccupied on Sunday with having multiple coronaries while watching the Super Bowl and then celebrating in the streets of Pittsburgh. I actually didn't get a chance to watch Big Love until last night. So let's get to it, shall we?

At the flop house, Frankie is brushing Rhonda's hair. Rhonda is upset and asks Frankie to kiss her, which he does in a way that leads us to believe that this is something that they've done many times before. Bill walks in and gulps a little at the sight of his brother making out with the girl who, if Roman has his way, will be his mom(ish). But Bill has bigger matters to discuss with Rhonda, namely the case against Roman. Bill is not, of course, acting as errand boy and is instead trying to convince Rhonda that it's in her best interest to go stay with some friends in another state. Rhonda is, of course, hesitant and wants Frankie to go with her.

At Joey's house, Wanda's freaking out (quel shock!) because Joey's trying to explain to her that they need to leave and stay at a motel for awhile. Kathy is on the phone with Jodean bringing her up to speed on the situation and tells her that they're not safe. She asks Jodean if Frank has returned. Jodean monotones that he hasn't and that they're all "very worried."

Speaking of Frank, he's finally coming to. In my experience, it's never a good sign to groggily wake up in a basement with a dirt floor and to see your notoriously disgruntled wife digging a ditch in front of you. Really, nothing positive ever comes from that. Frank asks for water and Lois ignores him. He sneers that Lois doesn't have the nerve to kill him, so she might as well give him some water. Lois finally acquiesces and sprays Frank in the face with a garden hose.

At Ana's, she and Bill make out a little bit and Bill starts fretting about how complicated things are with Roman on trial and whanot. Ana comforts him by confessing that while they were off and on, she saw someone else. She insists that they're not seeing each other anymore and promises Bill that she's going to inform him of that as soon as possible. Bill's birth certificate flashes on screen and is dated yesterday.

Barb shows up at Margene's with a guy named Ed who was Margene's mom's old boss. Margene remembers him driving them home from a party after her mom got drunk. Ed fumbles a little before finally breaking the news that Margene's mom fell going down the stairs to the laundry room and died and, well, it took awhile before anybody found her. Ugh. Barb and Ed start crying, but Margene looks more incredulous than sad.

Sarah and Heather are hanging out somewhere (this particular episode is really bad about identifying locations) when Sarah asks Heather to go to prom. Heather resists but Sarah says that she doesn't want to regret not going. Heather groans that they need dates and all the good ones are taken, but Sarah pops her head out the window and secures Ben for Heather and Frankie for herself. Frankie looks moderately excited about going with Sarah, which is weird, because he's her...uncle. "We could do worse!" cheers Sarah.

Barb gets a phone call from her mom who has some juicy news about Barb's sister, Cindy. She and her husband Ted have moved back into town and Cindy is involved in some forum to push legislation, particularly an anti-gaming legislation that may or may not have something to do with the fact that Barb's mom accidentally let it slip about Weber Gaming. Thanks, mom!

At Barb and Bill's, the Henricksons are having a little impromptu memorial service for Margene's mom. Bill encourages Margene to say a few words and Margene starts with, "Okay...um...One year on my birthday we watched Lawrence of Arabia, which was great, but...four hours long. Then she drank a gallon of gin, got morose, and told me she'd never been cherished by a man. She liked Nicki, though!" Ha! "Oh, let's face it, she was a loser who got tanked and died in a laundry room." I guess that's one way of putting it. Margene admits that she hopes that her mom wasn't afraid at the end and that's about as much emotion as she can stir about the whole thing. I can't really blame her. "I don't mean to be unfeeling," she says, "But she was never there for me. You are, though. Let's eat!"

Ana has her ex, Matt, over and is trying to break things off with him. He's understanding but reluctant and offers her a shot. He kisses her and Ana resists for about 3 seconds. I mean, break up sex is an important ritual and I guess the importance increases exponentially with each wife your intended already has.

Barb and Bill are in the kitchen talking about Cindy and Rhonda and trial ickiness when Sarah comes in and announces that she's going to prom. Barb is thrilled and Sarah continues that she wants to have her friends over beforehand for some normal pre-prom activities. Bill agrees and says that at this point, they're all entitled to a little normalcy.

On that note, Barb and Bill head over to their potential fourth wife's house to bring her some Jell-O and they bump into Matt, who was just leaving. Bill is PISSED, but leaves without causing a scene.

Wanda has run away to Nicki's house and is bitching about something being up with Joey and Kathy and she needs to stay away for a few days. Bill shows up and Nicki lectures him that he needs to talk to Joey about the Principal. Ana calls and Bill snaps at her that she shouldn't toy with people's emotions. "You cheated on me!" he growls. "You're married to three other women!" she shouts back. Nicki is, of course, wickedly intrigued by this transaction and takes the opportunity to declare Ana a sex addict.

Rhonda stomps around the flop house, furious with Frankie for going to prom with Sarah. "She'll make you have sex with you. She's a whore!" Uh, whatever, Rhonda, isn't Frankie supposed to be your son right about now?

Lois is still prepping things for the big show in the basement and is sprinkling quick lime (?) on the ground. Frank tries to tempt her into releasing him by telling her about the safe of a KFC he owns. Lois isn't convinced and gags Frank.

At the bus station, Bill prepares to send Rhonda off but she veers waaay off and offers herself to Bill as his wife. Bill is of course like, "Ack! No!" Rhonda threatens that her civil case against Roman will make her rich and Bill is all, "As IF!" and tries to push her on the bus. Rhonda turns to him and says, "The Prophet loved me. He chose me." Yikes.

Barb shows up at Cindy's meeting, much to Cindy's dismay, and gets ready to go many rounds. Yeah, Barb!

Margene is stress-cleaning her house and trying to avoid the box containing her mother's ashes, finally putting it on a shelf in a closet.

Joey and Kathy show up to collect Wanda but Wanda is not really trying to have that. Nicki insists that Joey apologize but Wanda doesn't really want to hear that either. Joey blows up at her but Bill tries to calm everyone down by offering to put them up. But, you know, at Nicki's house. Bill and Joey talk alone and discussion turns to their sister, Maggie, who Bill believes just randomly committed suicide. Joey lets him on the family secret: Maggie didn't want to be married and suicide seemed like the only way out.

Ana catches up with Barb but Barb has a few choice words for how Ana has treated her family. Ana gets Barb to admit that the double standard bothers her, but Barb gets Ana to admit that she's in love with Bill.

Bill shows up at Cindy's house to try to get her husband, Ted, to sort of turn Cindy's head but Ted's having none of it, even though Bill points out that they used to play slots at Tahoe all the time.

At the DA's, Nicki finally gets the break she's been waiting for when one of the lawyers asks her to help them by highlighting phone calls. Nicki looks around and sees the conveniently huge bulletin board with the information of all the Jane Does and seethes when she sees Kathy's picture. Nicki fakes a phone call and says that her mother is in critical condition after falling down the stairs to the laundry room. At home, she and Wanda try to figure out what to do. Nicki says that if Roman finds out about Kathy, he'll kill her. Wanda is therefore all for telling Roman.

At Cindy's, Barb's mom is trying to talk to both couples abour repairing the breach and Cindy says something about Ted being her lord and master. The meeting doesn't go well, especially when Barb notices that her mom gave Cindy her dad's grandfather clock. Cindy sticks to her guns on the legislation and Barb storms out. She tells Bill that she is so "blankety blank fed up," and that her wives are truer sisters to her than Cindy. "I never thanked you for that," she tells Bill. Aww! She also lets him know that Ana's in love with him and that she made a mistake and that she truly wants Ana to join them. They make out.

Roman is on the news because the identities of all of the Jane Does has been leaked, most notably Kathy. Bill has some strong words for Joey since he's trying his hardest to stay out of the whole ordeal. Kathy runs down to the basement sobbing, followed closely by Wanda and Nicki. Wanda is also sobbing and lets Joey know that they're going to incur the wrath of the Prophet. Bill explains that Kathy is not going to be able to pull down the Juniper Creek machine alone so there's not REALLY any wrath to worry about. Barb comes downstairs to let Bill know that it's prom picture time.

Sarah and Heather come downstairs looking lovely. Barb and Bill take a zillion pictures before sending the kids off. Frankie's brought a bottle of vodka but before they can leave their block, Rhonda is standing in front of the car screaming for Frankie. Heather orders the driver to get heck out of dodge.

Wanda walks to the pool, raises her arms, and falls in. Uh, not the most effective suicide method, Wanda. Especially since some of the kids see her and tell Margene. Bill fishes her out and she groggily asks Joey if he loves Kathy more than her. "No one could take your place in my heart," he tells her.

At prom, Frankie is yakking in the bathroom and Ben tells him to pull himself together. Frankie is also apparently unclear on the whole family tree and wonders if he's supposed to have sex with Sarah. Ben's like, "Uh, NO." Meanwhile, Sarah's left without a date for prom pictures, when Ben swoops in and takes Frankie's place. The other kids, of course, give them shit, but Ben tells them to "shut the effing h up." I love Ben.

Barb gives Wanda some Xanax and orders her to take it. Wanda says that the pressure was too much, what with Nicki trying to get her to prevent Kathy from testifying. Nicki tries to brush off the accusation and insists that the whole trial is too dangerous. Kathy finally speaks up about why she's testifying, that Roman married her at 14 to her first husband, who was 52, and he eventually forced himself onto her. "It happened to you, too, Nicki," says Wanda. Nicki insists it was her choice to get married at 15 but Wanda knows better, especially since Roman unsealed them.

At the DA's office, Nicki looks through one of the "joy books" and comes across her entry. She tears the page out just as the DA comes in and asks her what she's doing there, what with her mom being in critical condition and all. Nicki plays it off but can't help but break down, sobbing. The DA comforts her and offers to take her mind of things by reciting his opening argument for her. Nicki listens to his version of the sordid tale of Roman and maybe for the first time hears the truth.

Lois feeds Frank his last meal and says that she has to kill him, even though she doesn't want to. "You're too vengeful," she explains. Nonetheless, Frank tries to tap into some of her good memories, of which there are two, aparrently. But Lois decides to go ahead with murdering Frank and wraps his head with a plastic bag. She's pulled away by the phone ringing. It's Bill, and he wants to talk about Maggie. Lois crumbles and Bill hangs up. Lois runs back to Frank, who is gasping for air, but she turns and walks away. Hmm...

Rhonda visits Roman in jail and Adaleen pays the guard to leave them alone. Roman insists he still loves Rhonda, but she wants $100,000 to not testify. Roman says he can offer her greater riches, like his wrinkly old perverted hand in marriage. Sucker!

Bill goes to Ana and they make up. For now.

In the wee hours of the morning, the kids are chilling by a river. Heather and Frankie are cuddling and Ben and Sarah are watching the sun rise. Sarah thanks Ben for everything and tells him he's a good brother. "Yeah, I made this terrible night possible," he snorts. Sarah insists it wasn't so bad. "My uncle took me, got drunk, and then made out with my best friend." She chooses that moment to let Ben know that she's pregnant but that she doesn't want to tell anybody right now. "It's my prom night," she says.

Comments

[Gail]

Seriously, when you see it all spelled out you realize how much is jammed into 60 minutes. Best show on television! Easily.

[Rhonda]

I really like how this show seems to be blurring the lines of ethics. Watching Bill's family - it seems quite functional and makes me question why society should be judging/condemning them. But then you see the whole Bill trying to get Rhonda out of town thing and that's just kind of skeevy. Rhonda is a complete psycho - but she's a child that is being left in the wind. Bill would probably like her to go back to Roman to protect his family. And then to see what happened to Nicki, Kathy and Maggie. It's horrible.
Anyway, it was a certainly a jam packed show!

[DianaCLT]

In order to save $ in these trying times, I gave my consent to get rid of HBO. It wasn't 'til the next day that I realized *GASP* that's where Big Love resides! Ummm...is there some way to watch it online? Pleeeeeeeeeeeease...does anyone know?!?

Awesome recap - as always! :)

[cindy w]

Not to nitpick about the family tree stuff (b/c it kind of gives me a headache sometimes), but Rhonda was going to marry Roman, not Frank. So she wouldn't have been Bill's or Frankie's mom. She would've been Nicki's mom, though, so I guess she would've been Bill's mother-in-law, which just... yikes.

Oh, and is quick lime supposed to make bodies decompose quickly? I thought that's why Lois had it.

I've started hating Bill lately, he's been so selfish and controlling. I was glad to see him start to realize how corrupt and pervasive a lot of this polygamy/Juniper Creek business is. I wonder if he's going to do anything to redeem himself now, or if that was just a tidy way to wrap up his bit of the episode.