Cat-vertising, and other signs that our society is headed down the crapper

Authored by super special guest contributor and honorary MamaPop Betch, Marsha of sweatpantsmom

I don’t know about you, but I pretty much thought it was the end of civilization when I started seeing movie ads popping up on those plastic things on the supermarket. You know what I’m talking about – those bumpers that you use at the checkout to keep your vodka and Oreos separate from the wheat germ and organic feta of the person in front of you. It wasn’t bad enough that looming over every checkstand were copies of The Enquirer and it’s endless stories about Kirstie Alley’s thighs  – now I was confronted with ads for ‘Alvin and the Chipmunks’ rolling towards me on that little conveyor belt.  It almost had me running over to the self-scan aisle, even if I do always get yelled at by that bitch with the fake boobs and the mustache.

But I realized that those little mini billboards were just the tip of the iceberg as far as annoying, intrusive advertising goes. Because then I read about the lengths to which Warner Brothers went to advertise ‘F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin,’ their new shoot-em-up video game, this past Friday the 13th: they released a bunch of black cats wearing FEAR 2 cat shirts around London in order to ‘capture the attention of superstitious passers-by,’  They even have a name for it - Cat-vertising.  That’s right, you heard me. Advertising. On Cats. Real, live ones!

There are so many troubling things about this story I’m not sure where to start. The animal cruelty angle, the crass advertising aspect, and probably the most disturbing part about it for me – the glaring wrongness of pet clothing.  (I don’t care how much you love your schnauzer – he doesn ’t need a hand-knit sweater or a little 2-inch beret.)  Is Warner Brothers so desperate to advertise their mind-numbing adolescent fare that they’ve resorted to humiliating felines by dressing them up and parading them around the city? Couldn’t they think of a less insane way to capitalize on people’s superstitious fears, like maybe forcing them to walk under ladders or spray painting all the cracks on the sidewalk with the words, “Your your mother's back?”  Personally, the only thing ominous about seeing one of these black cats would be the dark realization that he was about to get his ass kicked by all the other cats for parading around in a onesie.

Warner Brothers tried to explain the campaign by saying that , “Every day people are bombarded with so many advertising messages that it can be easy to miss them. With our research telling us that Brits are actively looking out for signs of bad luck this Friday, it makes perfect sense to try and capture their attention that way.”  Yes, God forbid we should miss even one of the gazillion advertising messages we’re slapped with every day.  But I’ve got a better idea for Warner Brothers’ next campaign: Advertising movies on cats that are then used as those little dividers at the supermarket!  Don’t laugh – they’re currently working on a live-action version of “Tom and Jerry,” so anything is possible. Warner Brothers, have your people call my people – I’ve already figured out a way to silkscreen directly on those kitties and how to keep them from pooping on the groceries.

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Visit Marsha at sweatpantsmom 

Comments

[DianaCLT]

Ummmm...so how many of those unfortunately felines were hit by cars? Or are now homeless? Am confused greatly by this, and how PETA isn't all over it.

[amalah]

Are those cats on LEASHES? Because dude. A cat in a onesie is bad enough, but a cat in a onesie on a LEASH?

My cat would never in a million years go along with this. I wonder if all the people tasked with carrying out this campaign still have all their flesh, frankly.

[Holly]

I have two black cats who would be so pissed off if they could read this.

[Holmes]

Wait, fake boobs AND a mustache?

[michele]

i with holmes--fake boobs and a mustache?

also, that is all just bizarre. why? just why?

[Heather O]

I think I heard the next concept is hamster balls with their logos in holograms.