Hey Ladies: If You Want To Really Turn Your Man On, Try Smelling Like a Vulcan

  About a month ago, when winter was busy eroding my will to go on, I ‘broke’ the ‘news’ that Genki Wear was releasing a series of Star Trek colognes.  The line featured two scents for men (including the hilariously named Red Shirt, after the poor ensigns who went down to anonymous death with every episode) and Pon Farr, a perfume for women.  At the time, further information and marketing on the women’s perfume was pending.  Given the timing, and the fact that the scent was named after a relatively obscure bit of Trek lore, it seemed that Genki was concentrating on the manly demographic to sell its smells. 

But not no more, no way.  After the jump, witness the first cheesetastic graphic and bottle design for the world’s premiere Trek ladysmell.

Hey, did you just try to scroll past me?  Click the ‘more’ link, you bastards.

I have to say, I kind of love this image. The typeface and the cosmic background make me think of ads in comics I used to read as a kid, circa 1980. I associate this kind of graphic more with scale models of Apollo 11 or Moon Dust candy than I do with women’s perfume, but I have the feeling that this product touches down firmly on the continent of Novelty Gift. I doubt that originality or subtlety feature in Pon Farr’s list of attributes.

But what is Pon Farr, exactly? Let’s ask wikipedia. And let’s ignore the incredibly serious disquisition on the employment of Pon Farr in slash fiction.

It was introduced in the original series episode "Amok Time", written by Theodore Sturgeon, which depicts Mr. Spock going into pon farr and being returned to Vulcan by Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy in order to undergo the mating ritual and save his life.

What decorous Wikipedia is saying is that Spock becomes so insanely horny that he will die if he doesn’t get laid. This perfume? Is the smell of Leonard Nimoy in heat. Couldn't Genki have found something a little bit sexier? What about Uhura? Or even Mudd's women?  Or T'Pau?  There was plenty of babealiciousness on the orginal Star Trek, and even some interesting women characters. Why are we getting a smell for women named after extreme Vulcan horniness?

UPDATE: Commenter Helenel pointed out that the poster contains a ridiculous typo. So enjoy your pefume, Trek fans.

Comments

[Elizabeth]

Pon Farr perfume is not perfect for 'bright sunny days', it's perfect for that time when you are consumed by mad LUST! Odd choice, I agree.

[Sweetney]

The lust, it is not logical, captain.

I want them to come out with Tribble cologne for dogs.

[helenel]

So...they couldn't afford to use spell check on the ad?

[Palinode]

Oh Christ, I didn't even notice that. Pefume?

[helenel]

The logo is not particularly subtle, either. It makes me think of those viagra commercials where the guy threw the football through the tire swing.

[Eden]

I rely on giving good oo-mox myself ;)

[Palinode]

I just googled oo-mox AND IT'S EVEN MORE DISGUSTING THAN I COULD POSSIBLY IMAGINE, but primarily because it's the only sex act that absolutely needs to involve Armin Shimerman.

[LovelyLayla]

Hey ladies! If your man doesn't like the smell, the box includes instructions on how to apply the Vulcan brain melt to knock his ass out.
Nanu-nanu.
( Yes, I know...)

[helenel]

I have been chided gently offline that the logo I find vaguely sexual is, in fact, the "official Vulcan Federation Member badge icon".

And that the football ad was Cialis.

[teh Duchess]

Maybe the typo was on purpose? "Pon Farr Pefume" is a bit more alliterative, right? Or maybe I'm just looking for LOST-type symbolism in my similarly geeky Star Trek fandom? Meh, it's Wednesday - Anything is possible. Who's tired?

[helenel]

I thought maybe they could go with "Pon Farr P'Fume" to keep with the whole "T'Pau" thing.