Speidi Manage to Make Me Both Anti-Heterosexual Marriage & Pro-Swine-Flu All At Once

Blah blah blah Speidi totes got married for real this time except for the parts that had to be re-shot afterward who even knows anymore what with all the running away screaming and bleeding eyesockets. But don't worry that you've missed out on all the excitement before it even began: their current trip to Mexico is not, I repeat NOT their actual honeymoon.

"We're not on our honeymoon technically yet. This is a music-video shoot we're doing this weekend," Heidi said. "The honeymoon's coming in a couple weeks."

Another music video AND another whole vacation full of staged bikini prancing? Do you think they'll let us see some PHOTOS? Or even televise the WHOLE THING? Wow. Speidi is the gift that keeps on giving. Like a certain medical class of rashes, in a way.

By the way, in case you skimmed that first part: they're in MEXICO. Which means:

SWINE FLU! DUN DUN DUUUUUUN.

"We're definitely wearing the face masks everywhere we go," Spencer said. "We're not playing. I'm not trying to get pig flu! We're in isolation. We're in, like, full hiding."

I actually kind of love that quote. He's NOT TRYING TO GET PIG FLU, people! There's a limit to how far he'll take his famewhoring and insatiable quest for non-stop media coverage! It's like he's responding to an accusation that nobody made, like issuing forth press releases to deny non-existent pregnancy rumors.

Which...they've also already done...damn, these fools are pros.

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Comments

[ms martyr]

What I hate the most is that they got married in the church I attended in my childhood.

[amalah]

Oh man. Now they're destroying our childhoods? The mind boggles.

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

I don't care what anybody says, that is the best post title ever.

EVER!

And I agree.

[Dena]

In isolation? In full hiding? Could we be so lucky?

[LovelyLayla]

I like the part about screaming and bleeding eyesockets. That amused me.
Isn't it great how people make a complete mockery out of marriage anymore? And how we have gay couples who want to marry because they truly love one another and what to have families, but our country won't let them? But it's cool that we have two fame whore douche bags waste magazine spreads, and 15 minutes of my life I will never get back because of their ignorant ways.
I hope to god they don't breed.

[JellyBean]

Best argument for a pig flu pandemic yet! Will there be a Speidi photo op in Mexico of them cavorting on the beach wearing their surgical masks or eating tacos wearing surgical masks or shopping at the Dollar store wearing surgical masks? You get the picture.

[Kelly]

As I was watching the Hills last night, I could not stop this gnawing, aching, shaking feeling... no not PIG FLU, but murder. I really, really wanted to just hold up Spencer and Stephanie Pratt in front of a firing squad, and say "Fire, Fire, Fire, ad nauseum". Then I started wondering what it said about my life, that I could care so much about the F-ing Hills. I decided that I did not care to think about that, but instead thought up different ways to eviscerate the S-Pratts. Sometimes I do hate myself for watching this, but then I get over it, and gossip with other self-haters about what a manwhore Brody is. My Life, ain't it grand?

[JellyBean]

Didn't you just love the ex-boyfriend's girlfriend (sorry for no names) who kept commenting on how different Heidi looked since she moved to L.A. and wouldn't let it go and the look on Heidi's face as the camera kept cutting to her? I live for these moments, so life is grand!

[Wallydraigle]

So, are they going to wear masks while they shoot their "music" video? If so, I might actually watch it.

[cindy w]

Heidi really does need a mask. If she runs around Mexico doing that stupid "insert cock here" open-mouth smile that she does all the time (see above, even in her damn wedding photo!), she's going to suck up swine flu germs like a Hoover. Which, you know, would be totally ok with me, I'm just sayin'.

[BaltimoreGal]

That is the nice thing about them being in Mexico.
No more cheezy photo ops with huge idiotic smiles!