Woody Harrelson Mistakes Paparazzi for Zombies

Woody Harrelson assaulted a TMZ photographer in the airport on Wednesday night.

I'm sure he didn't mean it. He thought the guy was a zombie.

I wish I were clever enough to make up something that hilarious, but it is true. I read it on CNN.

Here is a quote from Woody.

"With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie."

 God, I wish I could go back in time and make that my yearbook quote.

That is the worst excuse I have ever heard and one time my daughter told me that she couldn't go to school because her butt itched.

I suppose if it was this guy I could see where you would confuse the photographer for a zombie, but if it was a guy eating a sandwich (as I suspect he was) wearing a black jacket and standing in LaGuardia I think it is much more of a leap.

Harrelson says that he was still in character from filming his latest movie, "Zombieland".

I would hate to see what he would have done to the poor guy if he has just wrapped "Natural Born Killers" or worse - "The People vs. Larry Flynt".

In my opinion, Woody's excuse is as weak as the Chewbacca defense.

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Can I just say I could pick pictures for this post all day long?

Look - there is this:

 

and this:

and this:

 

and this:

Comments

[Liz]

I am Team Woody on this one. You always need to be prepared for a zombie attack. ALWAYS.

Also I don't know why I'm surprised that there is a Wikipedia page for the Chewbacca defense.

[Fairly Odd Mother]

I love the "quite understandably" part of his quote. Oh, OF COURSE! I totally understand how that could happen. Just the other night I hit my husband in the head with a shovel b/c I quite understandably mistook him for a zombie when he walked into our house at dinnertime.

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

Right? Because it happens to all of us.

[the weirdgirl]

I think that is the most awesome excuse ever!

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

I am going to use it next time someone pisses me off in the grocery store.

[Apryl's Antics]

That is a stupid excuse. Everyone knows zombies only hang out at the mall.

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

That's what I'm sayin'.

[Mandee]

They filmed part of that movie outside my office a couple of weeks ago. It was on a Sunday, so I didn't bother to go check it out, but I did see the post apocalyptic downtown on the way home from church. It was a little disconcerting; I can see how Woody could still be traumatized. [snort]

[SweetPeaSurry]

I read this everyday, ALL posts, and some of the individuals who post here. REALLY?

ZOMBIES AT THE AIRPORT?

Where was security? Were they eaten?

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

I always pictured zombies taking the train.

Sarah

[Kerri Anne]

I don't know that I needed another reason to love Woody Harrelson, but if I did, I totally have it. The "quite understandably" part of his Zombie paparazzi story is my favorite.

[blackeyedgurl]

From now on, I will use xombies as my "quite understandable" excuse.

Why were you late for work? Quite understandably I thought zombies were blocking my path to the garage, so I had to get my nail board and bash in their skulls.

Sorry I didn't get you a birthday present, the mall was quite understandably overrun with zombies and I just couldn't fight them all...

Why did you hit that man with yout car? Well officer, I was minding my own business when this thing shambled in front of my car, quite understandably I figured it was a zombie, and thus hit it with my car. I didn't get a chance to make sure the brain was damaged enough, do you think you could shoot it in the head for me?

I sort of love Woody right now...

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

I'll say:

Honey, quite understandably I couldn't get to the grocery store or do any
laundry today, not because I fucked around on the internet all day, but
because of the zombies.

[Deb on the Rocks]

This is bringing up very painful issues for me because monsters and zombies were after me ALL of the time when I was a kid and my dad never did anything about it. Woody is the best father ever. His daughter knows deep down that she is not going to be the victim of an attack by zombies, not on his watch. If you are a dad and you haven't fended off zombies lately, just know that you are a zero but Woody is a hero!

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

We should all be lucky enough to have a father like Woody.

Or something.

[blackeyedgurl]

Zombies are known to frequent grocery stores (they have brains in the back of the meat department!) and laundry rooms (they know you have to go in there eventually, because no one lives long without clean undies), so I think this is a perfectly justifiable arguement.

[Karina in T.O]

Quite understandably Woody was so bloody stoned he ate every piece of food on that flight, and was jonesing for a Taco Bell when he left the plane!!

He realllllly needs to lay off the weed, man!

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

Mmmmmm. Taco Bell.

[Tricina]

I like him.

[Accidental Housewife]

this post ftw.

[DianaCLT]

I, myself, feel better, knowing that the likes of Woody Harrelson are out there to protect us. My children will grow up, knowing that this man is a hero to all children - not just his own. I do believe I'll be getting a Zombie Deterrent sign for my house tomorrow - a large poster of Woody, complete with "No Zombies Allowed" emblazoned across his chest, in true Superman fashion.

BTW: AWESOME post! Already posted the link to Facebook, and will be sure to come back everytime I need a good *snort.*