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The MamaPop Roundtable: Desert Island Books

Nee! And Huzzah! And It's just a flesh wound! And welcome to this week's MamaPop Roundtable, where the MamaPop writers answer enmass a single challenging, thought-provoking, or otherwise engaging question. We then ask that you, the reader, contribute your response to the same question in comments.

We invite readers to submit questions for the MamaPop writers to answer, and if we pick your question you will be handsomely rewarded with PDA and linkage. Please send your Roundtable questions to: roundtable@mamapop.com

This week's Roundtable question comes to us from MamaPop reader Steff, who asks:

Q: If stranded on a desert island what 3 books would you have to have with you? Also, what one non-essential item would you pick to keep you company/bide your time with while not lost in text?

Susan Boyle Is Gleaming the Cube Describing the Parabola (of Celebrity Meltdown)

Once upon a time, everyone knew how fairy tales worked out.  Anonymous young man or woman is launched into creepy adventure, overcomes an obstacle, and finds happiness in the infinite afterburn of happily-ever-after.  The twentieth century gave us the celebrity story, a different kind of fairy tale suited to our collective and connected age.  An unknown talent from nowhere resolves out of the void and fills our eyes and ears with his or her presence, until the pressures of fame trigger a spectacular implosion.  They go up, they freak out, they go down.

Which appears to be the developing story of Susan Boyle, if you believe the UK tabloids.

My Chemical Romance's Gerard Way Names His Baby "Bandit"

Please, God, let them have another and let them name it Smokey.

Keeping in tradition with other celebrity parents, My Chemical Romance's Gerard Way and Wife Lindsay, bassist for Mindless Self Indulgence, named their newborn daughter Bandit Lee Way. I had a friend in school who had a dog named Bandit. I suggested naming my second born "Scout" and everyone I knew all feigned weak gag reflexes and went on and on about how it was a dog's name, so I guess I can't hit it too much on the Ways' selection.

I like My Chemical Romance and I appreciate any chick who can truly play an instrument as opposed to using it as a prop, so I will at least give them props for not just completely making something up (Jermajesty. I'm looking at you, Jermain Jackson).

The New Trailer for V is New

They released a trailer for the remake of V last week and I pretty much passed out from dorkgasm right away and when they found me I was quivering on the floor and holding myself in a fetal ball and muttering "Not the hamster!" which my fresh-bought-from-the-Jer-Store friends totally thought meant something else that had nothing to do with aliens who are reptiles in people-skin eating rodents and birds. I need to get new friends. 

The new V is a re-imagining of the original series and will star some really cool people like Juliet from Lost, and Inara from Firefly and sure those people have real names and it would be totally respectful to look them up, but guess what? I'm not your IMDB. Just kidding, I have amazing journalistic integrity. Juliet's name is Elizabeth something, and Inara's real name is Macaroni Ocarina or something. On a side note,  Inara with short-hair? Pree-ow!

I put the trailer "after the jump" which is a way of tricking you into clicking on that "more" link. I'm sorry to be so deceptive.

Candy Spelling Blames Tori for Aaron Spelling's Death

Confession: "Tori & Dean: Insert Whatever Subtitle it is This Season Here" is a pretty charming show. I may watch it fairly regularly. I may even have it programmed on my DVR queue. I may have forgiven Tori Spelling for "Mother May I Sleep with Danger?" May have. And if you don't watch, basically, somehow, Tori Spelling and her husband Dean McDermott convince viewers to forgive them for cheating on their spouses and eventually leaving those spouses to be with one another and then go on to convince you they're fairly regular people and do regular people-type things, like take care of their kids and fight over the remote and stuff like that. And Tori does mention Candy Spelling -- her mom -- on air occasionally; she touches on their strained relationship and how it has made her a better mother to her own kids -- especially her own daughter -- because she doesn't want to repeat the past. I don't think -- at least to the extent that I believe what Tori has alluded to on air -- that anything specifically happened to cause a rift between her and her mom, but simply that they never really got along. Candy was never the kind of mom Tori hoped or needed her to be and, MY GOD, she kind of proved that with what I read today.

Disney/Pixar's Up - In Which We Discuss Everything but the Plot

Up is the latest offering from the good people at Disney/Pixar.  I'll tell you right now, if you're here for some snark and some hate and some throwing rocks at the kid on the pedestal, it ain't gonna happen.  It's too good.  And I like throwing rocks, especially at kids on pedestals, but mostly just kids.

I'm also not going to provide any spoilers because, and this is new, they SPOIL shit.  Who wants to be that guy?  Oh, and Darth Vader is Luke's dad.  Deal with it.

More Legal Trouble For Chris Brown As He Announces He Is "Not A Monster"

Chris Brown is is being sued by a photographer who claims he was beaten by Chris's bodyguard in March.  Robert Rosen is suing for personal injury, alleging he was roughed up after taking a snapshot of Brown at a Los Angeles fitness club on March 13, according to the lawsuit filed in L.A. Superior Court.   L.A. Fitness Club is also named in the suit.

Robert claims that he was chased by Chris's bodyguard after he took pictures of Chris playing basketball at L.A. Fitness Club.  He tried to run away but an L.A. Fitness Club employee allegedly "tried to block [Rosen's] exit and grabbed his clothing and body."

The Real Housewives of New Jersey (Episode 3): Not One of Us

 (This week we're doing a little live blog action so you can see how I feel in REAL time)

Teresa is taking her 7 year old, Gia to a meeting with Wilhelmina modeling agency in New York. It's super important, so says Teresa but you guys! Remember! Teresa is NOT a stage mom!

I love that Teresa beeps at the people in line for the Lincoln Tunnel. Yes, Teresa that's how it works, beep at the cars and they'll go faster. DUH.
Newsflash: IT'S THE GOD DAMN LINCOLN TUNNEL. By the way even though Gia is a precocious little 7 year old going on an obnoxious 17 year old, I kind of dig her and ability to know directions. If worse comes to worse thank God she can read.

Shirtless Vampire Thursday

Okay, so I've devoted TWO Thursday afternoon posts already to shirtless True Blood promo photos. It's clearly time to change things up a little. Develop some new hobbies, outside interests.

Baby steps, people. It's a process.

Brad Pitt Only Took "Inglourious Basterds" Role Because He Was Drunk

I know that when I read that Brad Pitt was doing a film with Mike Myers about Jewish-American soldiers scalping Nazis I thought that he must have been drunk when he accepted the role, but even in my mind I was being sarcastic.

As it turns out I was right.

The Stuff site has him quoted as saying "We went out together ... I got up the next morning and saw, like, five empty bottles on the floor and some sort of smoking device on the floor. Then, somehow, six weeks later I was doing the film."

Gillette Takes Manscaping to a Another Level

File this under: DUDE.

Gillette has posted a series of instructional videos designed to show men how to shave their ... areas. There's How to Shave Your Armpit, How to Shave Your Back (ew), How to Shave Your Head, How to Shave Your Face, and How to Shave Your Chest.

The video below is my personal favorite, How to Shave Your Groin, only because it cracks me up to think that a bunch of suits encircling a boardroom table decided to kick the video off with this little gem: "When there's no underbrush, the tree looks taller."

Friday Eye Candy: Thursday Edition (Now With More Boob!)

I've been thinking a lot about boobs lately. Mostly because my own boobs - having done their noble child-nurturing duty - have disappeared. So, yeah. Been thinking about boobs.

Salma Hayek's, for example. She's got a pretty epic rack. All the more epic for the fact that it's natural. Fake boobs aren't all that interesting, if you ask me. 

I mean: SERIOUSLY.

I Pity The Fool Who Doesn't Want To Hear Mr. T Sing

I have no interest whatsoever in baseball games, but the idea of celebrities singing at them thrills me to no end. So much so, that when I found this video of Mr. T singing at a Cubs game I decided not to write about Brooke Shields like I had originally planned, how she regretted waiting until she was 22 to lose her virginity.  Because seriously, wouldn’t you rather see a 80’s TV icon singing at Wrigley Field than read about Brooke whining about who didn’t come between her and her Calvins?  Besides, it got me thinking about who she lost her virginity to and doing the math I figured it might have been Michael Jackson, and the thought of it made me tense and unable to write.  So thank the Gods for Mr. T and baseball games.

(But just getting back to Brooke and her virginity for a minute, she also could have lost it to any of these studs she dated back in the 80’s: Ted McGinley, Dean Cain, John F. Kennedy Jr., Michael Bolton, Prince Albert II of Monaco.  Who was it Brooke?  Can you give us a hint? Is he dead or alive? Actor or royalty?  Has he ever sang at a Cubs game?)

Rapper T.I. Begins Federal Prison Sentence

Rapper T.I., whose real name is Clifford J. Harris Jr., reported to a Federal prison in Arkansas earlier this week.  He was sentenced to 366 days and will serve the whole term. 

The sentence stems from a 2007 arrest before the BET awards.  He was convicted of possession of three unregistered machine guns and two silencers and possession of firearms by a convicted felon. He was ordered to pay $100,300 in fines as well as the prison term.

RIP Jay Bennett

Sad news: Jay Bennett, who was a key member of the alt-country band Wilco leading up to their commercial success, died on Sunday in Urbana, Illinois. He was 45 years old.

RSS Feeds And Site Polls And Bears, Oh My!

 
Good morning, children! I come to you with two bits of site-related housekeeping that must be taken care of for the greater good of all MamaPopdom. So sit back, relax, and let the site bidness flow around you, enveloping you in the warm, freshly-peed-in-pool feeling of serenity that only interweb administration BS can bring:

1. Our MamaPop Spring 2009 opinion poll is now FINIS. You the people have spoken, and what's clear is that, on average, you want A WHOLE LOT MORE Celebrity News & Gossip, a bit more TV News & Recaps and Books & Print related coverage, and that you secondarily have a fair amount of interest in Movies and Current Affairs. But CELEBRITY NEWS & GOSSIP!!!! We hear you. And we will begin steering the good ship MamaPop to be more aligned with the wants and needs of you, the MamaPop reading public. BECAUSE WE LOVE.

2. You may have noticed (and been annoyed by!) MamaPop's recent RSS feed conversion from full to partial content. Sigh. There's a reason for this. Last week it was brought to our attention that at least one site -- a fairly prominent one at that -- was running MamaPop's full feed as content on their site without our permission. It's called "scraping," and as obviously wrong as it may seem, it's unfortunately very difficult to prosecute when the scraper gives credit to the site of origin (in this case, the offending site had a small button version of our logo and a link to our homepage at the bottom of each post, just before the comments, though individual author bylines were omitted. Regardless, we'd never seen any hits from the site, and the comments sections on our posts there were very active -- clearly readers weren't recognizing or didn't care that these posts came from somewhere else, and were responding to them as though they were original content generated by that site. And UGH.).

Needless to say, this left all of us at MamaPop a bit peeved. All the MamaPop writers work really hard to bring fresh, smart, funny, interesting content to our site, and they deserve attribution and recognition for that hard work. The only way to ensure that scrapers can't continue doing this -- stealing our original content and posting it as their own -- is to go partial feed. And I know it sucks. And believe me, I agonized about doing it. But for now it's the only solution, and we have no other viable option at this point to protect ourselves. Sorry, dudes.

So that's all the haps. As always, if you have any questions about MamaPop, or suggestions for us, feel free to shoot us an email anytime at contact@mamapop.com

Thank you come again!

Kanye West Wrote a Book, And, No, I'm Not Kidding

Reuters.com gave me the present this morning of an interview with Kanye West in which he, unsurprisingly, sounded like a douchenozzle.  He seems to be perpetually afflicted with inflation of the head.

We expect this from Kanye, because he's been practicing douchenozzlery for years already, and it never ceases to entertain.  As a musician, he nearly Autotunes me into a coma — my god, with the boring! — but as an individual, he's quite something to watch.  I've been harsh on Kanye West in past, which makes me feel a bit guilty, because he makes himself such an easy mark, but I can't seem to stop reading about the guy.

So, you ask, what is his latest stroke of genius?  Kanye West wrote a book.