The 2009 World Beard & Moustache Championships

The 2009 World Beard & Moustache Championships, hosted this year by the South Central Alaska Beard & Moustache Club, took place over the weekend on May 23rd in Anchorage, Alaska, and the winners will surely not disappoint.  They never do.  This might surprise you, but I can't wait for the Championships every two years, and as soon as they're over, I end up searching the internet high and low for the year's funkiest facial hair like a sex addict looking for porn.  

There were over 300 people who competed in 3 major categories with 18 sub-categories, and I am wowed every time by the sheer variety of facial hair styles.  You can't help but be impressed by styles with names such as the Garibaldi, the Alaskan Whaler, the Fu Manchu, and the Musketeer.  Just take a look at this fantastic example of what a freestyle beard can be made to do with enough gel, wax, glue, or whatever it is that makes it so what it is:

WOW, huh?  Being a female with only a few regularly plucked whiskers, I'm kind of jealous.  I might just have to invest in a fancy face toupe.

And then there's Keith Haubrich's (aka Ghandi Jones) stunning freestyle moustache:

Offical pictures of this year's Championship are scarce as yet, so until they start littering the internet with their extreme awesomeness, ACVB PR's Flickr photoset of the World Beard & Moustache Championship festivities has a few gems, such as the contestant, Mikhail Siskoff, the Sideburns/Muttonchops winner, Toot Joslin, and the Overall Champion, David Traver, which you must click through to, because Traver's beard is quite the structure.  It looks like he should be farming a herd of gerbils in there.

And, because I can't help myself, here are a few contestants from previous years and their fantastic facial hair formations:

 

 

 

For some reason, these men all look so freaking pleased with their own faces.  They're like little kids that just ate the best cake who I want to scoop up, take home, and dress like toy generals.  Or is that just me?

UPDATE:  This guy has a series of videos called "Journey to the 2009 World Beard & Moustache Championships".  He is full to the brim with adorability:

Comments

[Palinode]

Some of them look so pleased with their crazy facial hair. I strive in vain for such happiness and I'm cleanshaven. Coincidence? Yes. These guys are nuts.

[katherine]

Wow!! But their eyes are shining; they are so proud of their adornments...I like!!!

[Musingwoman]

For some reason I have this sudden impulse to read stories by the Brothers Grimm.

[Ginger]

Holy fuck. That's all I can say.

[Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy]

Things that absolutely fucking terrify me:
-snakes
-masked strangers
-beard & Moustache contests

[indycitygirl]

Just WOW!!! The look of happiness in these guys eyes makes me smile while on the otherhand,I is ascared of the facialpubes!!

[Kelly]

If it makes them this happy, then more power to them. They look so pleased with themselves. However, I must wonder if they futz with their beard as much as some women futz with their hair. Do they use rollers at night, or a beard net? Do they tie it up in a bow or braid it before having hot monkey sex with their wives or who/whatever? These are the questions that occur to me.