Hugh Hefner Can't Tell His Girlfriends Apart

*big sigh*

Hugh Hefner admitted to Fox News that he has trouble telling his girlfriends apart.

Sure at 83 some of it might be that he is addled, but another part of it is that they are identical twins.

They are also 20 years old. 

Fortunately for Hef, one of them (I'm not sure if it is Karissa or Kristina) has a mark on her neck.

Dear Sluts,

1) Gross. He is 83 years old. Sure, he is an attractive 83 year old but we all know you are in this for the money.

2) Gross. You are sisters. As the mother of twins I say "Shame on you!" You should not be having sex with same man. Also, incest is illegal. (I think.)

3) Gross.

4) Gross, gross, gross.

5) You don't want to end up like Anna Nicole Smith, do you? Because that whole story is so sad.

Listen, I like soft core pornography as much as the next guy (Well, probably not as much as the next guy, but surely as much as the next girl.) and I have no problem with May-December romance. But you are really just a dirty old man. A rich dirty old man, but dirty and old nonetheless.

Hugh better hope that thing on the one girl's neck doesn't heal or he will never know who is who. Although my guess is that if you are twin sisters that are both having sex with Hugh Hefner you can't really play the indignant card when he can't tell you apart.

Comments

[heels]

Gross.
And I almost hate to admit that I thought it in the first place, but all I could think was "Dear jeebus, please let it just not be both at the same time."
Gross.

[Jill]

I will admit to being a fan of The Girls Next Door and when the twins first entered the picture, it was documented on the show because they were in the running for something or other. By the time the show aired, it was already widely known that the TGND were on their way out and the twins were in, so it was interesting to watch how they interacted with the other girls and with Hef. But what was truly, truly creepy was that they did their test shots for the magazine together. NAKED TOGETHER. BEING ALL TOUCHY, EVERY-MAN'S-FANTASY-LIKE TOGETHER. How does one (or in this case two) get to the point where one (or two) thinks it's a good idea to get naked with and feel up your sister for all the world to see? That, my friends, is the origins of the Gross, if you ask me!

[Alyssa]

Do we really think Hef is still having sex at this point? I didn't get the impression from GND that he did with anyone but Holly so why would he suddenly be interested in meaningless sex again?

[ozma]

Blonde people all look the same.

No, really. I get blonde people mixed up all the time.

[Palinode]

They should all go back to Blondia where they belong instead of coming here and taking all our reality show and middle management positions.

[natalie]

I have this gut feeling that hugh is not having sex with these 'girlfriends' but rather that it is a marketing ploy. They get choosen because of their ability to induce fantasy in the men types and it keeps Hugh's reputation (which honestly is part of his marketing brand).

Until I have actual proof that he can and is making the lovelies with these young ladies, I will assume that it is one of those things that we just pretend "oh yes old man, you are having sex with these young, blonde girlies" and "yes donald trump your hair is very nice and full"

[michele]

why are they so orange? it is creepy.

[Victoria Mason]

I second that michele. And wearing pink? Why do they always wear pink? Is no other color allowed at The Mansion?

[Erin]

I third that Michele. Lord have mercy on my soul, get those girls OUT of the tanning bed IMMEDIATELY!

[Jenn_C]

Cindy and Mindy always hated visiting their creepy Uncle Phineas, but if they wanted to stay in the will they had to play nice.

[rockle]

Eww. These girls are the same age as Hef's oldest son. And Hef is still married to Kimberly Conrad. This whole thing is, like, "Hogan Knows Best" levels of weirdness (although with less silicone, I suspect).

[JellyBean]

So at 83, I don't think Hef can tell his feet apart, much less a pair of twins. To help, one could keep the fake bake and the other not tan at all. He could remember them as the "orange one" and the "not orange one".