MamaPop™

Mariska Hargitay Is Apparently Worth It

  Would you pay $400,000 to spend an hour with Mariska Hargitay or Christopher Meloni, with frequent interruptions from people trying to sell you allergy medications and hybrid cars?  Maybe you wouldn't, but NBC will.

The Trouble With Twitters or Jeff Goldblum Lives!

Twitter did some good work a few weeks back what with the Iran and the White House and the stuff, but their follow-up needs a little work.

I'm talking about the death rumors that seem to run through Twitter like so many burritos.  It's all crap.

Weeds Recap

Last week, after Sucio disappeared leaving a bloody trail behind him, Nancy fled with Andy, Shane, and Bitchface and had orders from Esteban to await further information from him. This week, Bitchface is out of the picture, though I don't think we heard for sure if they dropped her off at the airport so she could go home or if she and Nancy got in a fight and she huffed off saying she would just walk home to Oakland or if she was attacked and eaten by dogs. Wherever you are, Bitchface, I hope you're well and I hope we see you again this season because you're kind of fun.

OMG Have You Guys Heard of This Show Called 'The L Word'?

While most MamaPop writers have their fingers on the pulse of what's hot on TV, I tend to fall really behind on the boob-tube pop culture. I have basic cable, which I barely watch, and for long stretches of time I will only flip between Bravo, VH1, MTV and the Food Network, as though they were the only channels in my cable package. When I finally do catch on to a popular or critically acclaimed show, it's usually well into its run and, in some cases, after it has ended entirely. Usually this is okay with me — I get to watch it on my time, and if I can't wait to find out what happens, I just watch the next episode right then. It's like delayed instant gratification.

Usher Demands Paternity Test

Admittedly I don't know much about Usher except that he used to date one of the members of TLC and Naomi Campbell. That last fact makes me think he is either likes divas or being beaten by cell phones.

Anyhow, he didn't marry either of those former lovers, he married some lady named Tameka (I was told this is Cherokee for Gold Digger) who earlier this year went to some South American country to get some "work" done. And when I say work, I mean it was reportedly the type of work that results in either an inflation or deflation of the money-maker asset kind. But that fact about Tameka is neither here nor there because as the rest of the world knows except for me, Usher is seeking a divorce from Tameka and it is turning into one of those break-ups of a nasty variety.

Gosselin Divorce: Have They Really Been Separated 2 Years?

By now you have heard.  Jon and Kate have made the announcement, they are divorcing.  But then, Kate shocked everyone by checking the box that said they had been separated for two years on the divorce papers.  How is that possible?  Didn't they just separate?  Have they been lying for the past two years?  Didn't they just renew their vows 12 months ago?

Could they really be that shallow and want free stuff that bad?

Well, yes.  But I honestly believe the box checking was a legal maneuver.  I'll explain.

True Blood Recap: Scratches

So, when we left those crazy Bon Temps kids, Bill was about to do...something to Jessica's family after Sookie stupidly drove her to her parents' house and Jessica went completely berserk, which surprised absolutely no one.

Bernie Madoff Is Sentenced to 150 Years Behind Bars

Bernie Madoff,  the 71-year-old sociopathic thief behind a huge Ponzi scheme that spanned more than 20 years, was given the maximum prison sentence of 150 years for his multi-billion-dollar fraud this morning.  Under the law, Madoff will not be eligible for parole until he is at least 191 years old, so, barring leaps forward in the science of cryopreservation that would enable the revivification of Madoff and his über-stylish George Washington haircut in 2129, the decision to hand down the maximum sentence is mostly symbolic.

What About Jackson's Kids?

*UPDATED!

While it seems many are mourning for Michael Jackson, I'm mourning, too, except I'm sad for the singer's three children; also the boys whose innocence was apparently destroyed by a man whose status as a pop-culture icon enabled him to skate past the law. (The best defense of libel is the truth you don't go buying off your accusers with millions and millions if you're innocent.)

I've read and watched many reports which assert that society drove Jackson to his death. Society had zip to do with Jackson's death, we didn't inject him with Demerol; I'm more concerned with the role society played in mischaracterizing this man's juvenile accusers as antagonists and overlooking his problems. In no other case would children who claim abuse be treated to such venom. Of course, I guess when you know people who were violated in their youth and when you're the parent to young boys, it changes your perspective a bit.

I'm also mourning for Jackson's three children. Debbie Rowe has surfaced again, albeit briefly, to say that she does not, contrary to the reports, want custody of the children.

Thoughts About Why Michael Jackson's Death Made Me Gaze Into The Empty Sky

I've been watching the dust settle from Michael Jackson dying and feeling pretty weird about it. It's fitting, no? Michael Jackson was weird. Hearing he died was weird. But reading the reactions to his death on the internet? My God, it's weirder than sleeping in an oxygen chamber with a pet monkey.

There's a lot of confusing conversation about whether or not we ought to care about Michael Jackson dying in a quirky debate about the ethics of mourning. He was a musical genius! some say, What a tragic loss. While others shriek Good riddance, pedophile!

Eddie Van Halen Got Married (Again)

On Saturday Eddie Van Halen tied the knot with stunt women and girlfriend of three years, Janie Liszewski.

Yes, I said stunt woman. It is a real job! She did stunts for Spiderman 2 and Along Came Polly.

Okay, but good for the couple. I am happy for them. There were several unusual things about the wedding: the groom wore flip flops, the bride walked in to a VH tune, the non-alcoholic open bar, the bride was given away by her mother and a dog (or the dog was just watching or something like that), Van Halen's ex-wife, Valerie Bertinelli, was a guest, they had wax lips as a take away, but here is the part that I find the most surprising -

John Edwards and His Mistress Made a Sex Tape; Edwards' Former Aide Sings Like a Canary With a Book Deal

I don't think Jon Stewart could have been more right when he suggested to Elizabeth Edwards that she consider renaming her book "What the Fuck?  Do You Believe This Shit?".

Because seriously.

Almost one year after John Edwards admitted he cheated on Elizabeth, his wife of 32 years, with Rielle Hunter, and then denied paternity of Hunter's child, his former aide Andrew Young is blowing the whistle.  If you remember, Young was the devoted aide who tried to claim that he had cheated with Rielle Hunter and that the child was his.  Which may have been believable had Young not then moved Rielle Hunter into his house with his wife and three daughters.  ("Yeah, my wife like TOTALLY understands.  We all snuggle.  It's super.")

Young just signed a book deal (OF COURSE HE DID) and now claims that he's ready to tell the truth.  According to St. Martin's Press, the proposal was "impossible to put down".  Among the shockers?  John Edwards is the father of Rielle Hunter's baby.  But, that's not the only proof that John Edwards is a sack of douche.

"The Invention Of Lying" Looks Funny

Ricky Gevais' new film, The Invention of Lying has a new trailer and while maybe you didn't even know it had an old trailer, it did, so quit giving me your lip. The film stars Gervais, Louis C.K., who according to my calculations is the funniest human on Earth, Tina Fey, Jonah Hill, Jason Bateman and Jeffrey Tambor. Just saying Jason Bateman and Jeffrey Tambor in the same sentence gets my geek juices flowing because if Arrested Development was a giant, talking, alien robot that could transform into a car it would change into something so funny and cool that I just crapped my pants. True Story.

It's Official: The Daily Show Makes The White House Piddle Their Pants

Oh ye of little faith! All of you (okay, me too) thought that political comedy was going to be a little thin on the ground once Obama took office, right?  WELL. Everyone on both sides of the playing field take note, cause there's plenty of funny in this story for everyone. Well, unless you're Dick Cheney. Then you're pretty much screwed.

So who is really making politicians sweat these days, and what is the White House doing in order to save face with this superpower? Whoever could it be???

I'll give you a hint: He's a snarky New Yorker on basic cable.

Police Investigating The Death Of Michael Jackson

We knew this one was coming.  The minute I heard about Michael Jackson's death I said to myself, this has police investigation all over it.

The Los Angeles Police spent Saturday night questioning Michael Jackson's personal physician who was at his side at the time of his death.  He was interviewed for 3 hours, and his spokesperson, Miranda Sevcik, said he answered "every and all questions."  She also said he  "helped identify the circumstances around the death of the pop icon and clarified some inconsistencies."

Billy Mays Found Dead at Home

Well, this week just keeps getting weirder. Billy Mays, the iconic infomercial pitchman for products like Oxi Clean, was found dead inside his home in Tampa, FL this morning. He was 50 years old.

The MamaPop Roundtable: Best/Worst Concerts

Nee! And Huzzah! And It's just a flesh wound! And welcome to this week's MamaPop Roundtable, where the MamaPop writers answer enmass a single challenging, thought-provoking, or otherwise engaging question. We then ask that you, the reader, contribute your response to the same question in comments.

We invite readers to submit questions for the MamaPop writers to answer, and if we pick your question you will be handsomely rewarded with PDA and linkage. Please send your Roundtable questions to: roundtable@mamapop.com

This week's Roundtable is [drumroll]:

Q: What were the best and worst concerts you ever attended?