Speidi Returning to 'I'm A D-List Attention Whore...Get Me Out Of Here!'

Did I get the title of that show right? Oh, silly me, I'm so bad with names. 

Yeah. They're back. Janice Dickinson is gone but Speidi are reportedly back on a plane to Costa Rica after quitting I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here!, saying they were tortured and threatening to sue. When questioned about why they were going back given their terrible ordeals, Spencer and Heidi indicated that their very existence was in jeopardy: since no one had talked about them for the last four days, they started to sort of fade away like Marty McFly in Back to the Future does when he alters his parents' past too much. Okay, they didn't really say that, but it's one theory. 

They're never going away, are they? No. They are the mutant cockroaches of D-list celebrities and will outlive us all.

We have compared Speidi to cockroaches before here, I'm sure. I would look up the posts wherein we have at the very least made the connection between Spencer and the most resilient and repugnant member of the Arthropoda phylum, but I'm writing this at 2 a.m. and you can't really expect me to research our archives for you, can you? I mean, honestly, that's just very lazy of you, and you should really go look at everything we've ever written about Speidi anyway, because it's pretty hilair. Despite that fact, it is the very act of writing about Speidi or acknowledging their shenanigans that allows them to exist in any meaningful way. Posts like this are the radiation leakage that Speidi feeds on, which poisonous waste does not kill them, but causes them instead to mutate into two of the more grotesque, irrepressible, unstoppable celebrity creatures known to man.

So, I guess you could say this latest onslaught is actually our fault. Bloggers like us, along with the gossip mags and even the likes of Al Roker are talking about those jackholes, and it is the talk that makes them famous. If you wanted to, I suppose you could waggle your finger at us and say, "THIS IS ALL YOUR DOING!" You'd not be entirely wrong — but you also have to admit that you love watching those two jackholes be jackoles. Don't lie. 

And because you watch, and you hang on every, "did you see what those jackholes did/said?" that we, the media, feed you, don't you see that maybe you need to turn that finger back on yourself? Yeah, that's right, you guys. Now it's your fault! How do you like that? Don't like the shame game when the shame's on you, do you?

The truth is, if we really, really wanted Speidi to go away, we would stop paying attention to them, right?

Actually, some are doing just that.

E! Online did a recent poll, wherein an overwhelming 94% of voters nodded in favor of putting the Pratts on radio silence. Starting today, E! will no longer report upon Spencer and Heidi unless they do something "truly newsworthy." How long will that last? Who can say, but I have my doubts. And what is "truly newsworthy" on a network that airs The Girls Next Door, y'know?

America, you know it's true: we love to hate Speidi. We love that they make us feel better about ourselves. No matter how much of a jackhole you are, you're probably safely assured that you're not as much of a jackhole as Spencer or Heidi. No matter how much of an attention whore you are, you're probably not as bad as Speidi, (unless your name is Kate Gosselin). Speidi make us feel good about ourselves. Speidi make us feel sexier, smarter, more confident, more valuable as human beings and members of society. 

Or am I wrong? Are you sick to death of the Pratts? Do you want us to stop talking about them? I mean, I guess we could do that if you really want, since you're our reason for existing. 

I kind of hope to God you don't, though. Here is it, 3:06 a.m., and I'm done with my article, rather than still pulling out my hair trying to think of something to write about, and I have Speidi to thank for that. So long as they continue to exist and be awful, appalling human beings, the life of a pop culture blogger can remain relatively writers'-block-free.

source, source

Related Posts

Why "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here" Is Not Unlike Black Tar Heroin

Speidi Manage to Make Me Both Anti-Heterosexual Marriage & Pro-Swine-Flu All At Once

Spencer and Heidi: WHATEVER

Comments

[Palinode]

They're like the pigman from that episode of Seinfeld. As George says: "With pigmen walking around, suddenly I don't look so bad."

[Alyssa]

So... are we allowed to vote? Because I vote done.

[BLT]

i dislike them intensely and wish they would go away to the jungle FOREVER.

Team Roker!

[cindy w]

I'm really sorry if it makes your job more difficult, but OMG I would LOVE it if we could stop talking about these two idiots. Please?

[Jen.]

done. pleez?

[Lisa]

I vote for no more news on Speidi! Maybe they will go away.

[Sarah Lena]

I, honestly, admit that I enjoyed following their lame staged press releases and photos UNTIL the began with the Jesus Talk. OMG, the Jesus Talk. Jesus this, and Jesus that, and REALLY, SPENCER, YOU WERE ON THE HILLS AND I'M PRETTY SURE JESUS IS NOT A FAN OF THE HILLS.

So now? I vote them done.

[GhtoPrincess]

So very, very done. I'll admit, when I see the title of an article here that includes the term Speidi I start to read it....once it breaches, yet again, into the "the more we feed it the more it needs" area I'm done. That's fine if people need/want to "report" on Speidi going back, once again to some reality show or other, but why, oh why, oh WHY, must we constantly rehash the "by writing this I'm giving them the attention they don't deserve but so desperatly want and I just hate myself for it". So long story short.....DONE!

[DianaCLT]

I only know anything about them because of this site and my beloved Soup....but didn't that plastic tramp compare herself to Mother Teresa recently?!? REALLY?!? Please - make them GO. FAR. FAR. AWAYYYYY!!!!!

[Jen]

Yeah, so over them. Although the hilarious commentary that Mamapop consistently delivers about Speidi is pretty awesome. Like, it's one thing for freaking CNN to cover their goings-on with any bit of seriousness, but at least you guys share the ridiculousness while further ridiculing.

So maybe I'm saying, maybe their worth it for the humor? But then again, it could also be getting to the point of constantly making fun of the annoying kid in class who won't shut up.

[Suzy Q]

I'm on the done side, too. They're just too...ubiquitous and meaningless. And assholey.

[Katharama]

As I wouldn't even know who Speidi is if not for your website, I have no issues with coverage going away. The articles are funny, but they are clearly douchebags that don't deserve any kind of attention whatsoever.

[ndc]

I have a few websites that I start my day with everyday - one of which is mamapop. I'll admit it, I love me some gossip. However, my other websites of choice are msnbc, cnn and the local news. Point is: if I'm like most mamapop readers, I keep up with pop culture BUT also am very into "real" news (Iran? N.Korea? Anyone? Beuller?). Challenge your readers to a BIT more intellectual news and I think they'll love you even more for it.