MamaPop™

The MamaPop Roundtable: Shake Your Groove Thing Edition

Nee! And Huzzah! And It's just a flesh wound! And welcome to this week's MamaPop Roundtable, where the MamaPop writers answer enmass a single challenging, thought-provoking, or otherwise engaging question. We then ask that you, the reader, contribute your response to the same question in comments.

We invite readers to submit questions for the MamaPop writers to answer, and if we pick your question you will be handsomely rewarded with PDA and linkage. Please send your Roundtable questions to: roundtable@mamapop.com

This week's Roundtable is dedicated to Sparklecorn 2009 [drumroll]:

Q: What songs never fail to get you up on your feet and dancing?

Prisoner Remake Looms Ever Closer - Now with Preview

What are geeks turning themselves into ecstatic/enraged pretzels over this week?  If it's not the replacement of Rachelle LeFevre with Bryce Dallas Howard on the third Twilight movie, or the release of the Watchmen Director's Cut, or the appearance of the unaired thirteenth episode of Dollhouse, then it must be the NINE-MINUTE PREVIEW of AMC's remake of The Prisoner.

AMC premiered the footage at last week's Comic Con.  The remake stars Jim Caviezel (you know, the gory Jesus of Mel Gibson's sadistic imaginings) as Number Six, the man who wakes up one morning to find himself in The Village, a mysterious and kind of psychedelic resort area where you are free to do anything but leave. The original Prisoner miniseries ran for seventeen episodes in 1967, exploring themes of freedom and power in a Cold War world in the midst of the hippie movement. After the jump, let's all see what the 21st century makes of it.

Why Mark-Paul Gosselaar, aka Zack Morris was, Continues to be Cool

Jimmy Fallon has been hoping for a "Saved By the Bell" reunion, and aside from some photos in a tabloid magazine, he hasn't gotten his wish. 

Renewed interest in the series and its stars prompted Dustin Diamond, who played Screech, from threatening the cast with a sordid tell-all book about their times filming the show. It's sort of sad, really: boy is a nerd, boy plays nerd on television, boy grows up and releases a grody sex tape of himself that no one buys, boy threatens former cast mates with a trumped-up book as a desperate attempt to maintain a shred of relevancy in a society that moved on without him a long time ago. 

Mark-Paul Gosselaar was asked about the Diamond tell-all in an interview with Newsweek, to which he responded in his trademark-cool Zack Morris fashion.

"The Goods" Might Actually Be Good

The Goods is a script that was developed by Will Ferrell and his longtime partner Adam Mckay and by that I don't mean "life partner", I mean "writing partner" so don't get all freaked out if you're a right-wing nut job. They're just friends. Seriously. Close friends who kiss sometimes*. That's still just friends. Ask anyone. Just because I kissed that Mike guy in college doesn't mean I'm gay. That's my point. Shut up.

So any way, The Goods stars Jeremy Piven and a bunch of other people who are actually funny so maybe that's a good reason to see it because I wasn't sure how I felt about sitting down and watching Ari Gold for a full movie, but the red band trailer they just released made me laugh at least 2 or 3 times so maybe this will be okay after all. The cast is awesome and if you don't think Ving Rhames is funny then you've never heard him deliver a line about a pig going down on a hyena, because that's a laugh riot. I'm not making this stuff up. Pig oral sex jokes are totally automatically funny by the Geneva Convention or something. 

Jude Law Continues to Sleep His Way Around the Planet

Oh, Jude Law. Who didn't love you just a little bit in Cold Mountain? You've got the accent, the charm, but you're also a complete and total Shady McSleepsAround. Admittedly, I found it kind of adorable that you have that "Sexy Sadie" Beatles' lyric tattooed on your arm in honor of your ex-wife and mother of your first three kids, Sadie Frost. Buuut, she didn't have the nicest things to say of you during your 2003 divorce or, for that matter, during your break-up with Sienna Miller a couple years after. (She's on record saying, "I was very, very lucky that it didn't happen to me.... This is between Jude and Sienna but what I will say is that a situation like this was predictable.") The situation being, of course, that you shacked up with your kids' NANNY while engaged to Miller. To make it that much better, the whole nanny situation came to light because one of your kids found you in bed with said nanny. That's good parenting right there.

And, now, you've gotten 24-year-old Florida model, Samantha Burke, pregnant.

Ooooh, Jude. You'll never learn.

Friday Eye Candy: WHAT HAS YOU DONE WITH OUR EDWARD Edition

Someone stole Edward. Someone stole Edward HARD. And we need you to help us find him.

(We don't necessarily want him back, mind you. I mean, who knows what's been done to him? Unsanitary things, no doubt. We just want to know, you know?)

You can get the full story at the OH HAI WHERE IN THE WORLD IS SPARKLECORN EDWARD page, but in the meantime, today's FEC is devoted to reminding you what he looks like.

Ohio Police Chiefs Arrested in Sarah Jessica Parker Surrogate Scandal

Two suburban Ohio police chiefs suspected of masterminding a break-in at the home of the surrogate mother for Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick's newly born twin girls have been arrested on undisclosed charges. 

Martins Ferry Police Chief Barry Carpenter and Bridgeport Police Chief Chad Dojack allegedly masterminded a burglary to gather information to sell to the tabloids.  Lovely.  I hope they are very proud of themselves and their oath to serve and protect.

Tron: Legacy = Mind: Blown

I posted a bootleg of some of this footage almost a year ago, but now we have the full, glorious mint version, and wow. Just WOW.

And in IMAX. Squee!

The Tron: Legacy site Disney has up is basically just a placeholder page at this point, but that new trailer says 2010, and god I hope so. I feel like I've been waiting for this movie since... well, since 1982.

OH NOES! Edward Kidnapped!

Those of you who were at Sparklecorn 2009 doubtless remember the presence of our friend Edward, who was featured prominently in many a party photo taken that night:

Well at the end of the evening, we were startled to find that... we could not find him. He was GONE. *POOF!*

OH MY GOD SOMEONE HAD STOLEN OUR EDWARD. BASTARDS!

But wait. It gets better. MUCH better.

Asylum.com Issues Megan Fox a Citation For Overexposure

How do you know when the clock is running down on your fifteen minutes? There are many signs and portents, but unfortunately, the time-honored Media Moratorium (wherein sites make a public proclamation that they will no longer write about the celeb unless they do something "newsworthy") has been only marginally successful in the past. The largest piece of evidence for the unreliability of Media Moratorium as a sign of demise is the fact that Paris Hilton continues to crop up in all of her awfulness. 

Despite the limited success of such moratoria, the latest celebrity to receive a citation for media overexposure is Transformers "actress" Megan Fox.

We Don't Want To Party All The Time. Just Most Of The Time.

To be clear, we would love it if we could just party all the time - I think that we have demonstrated that amply - but we're so much more than that, really. Sure, we can dance up a storm and toss back the whiskey, but hey: we has thoughts, too. Also, ideas. And: more thoughts!

Because that was the other thing that we were doing at BlogHer, when we weren't dancing our asses off or carving up unicorns: we were holding forth with our thoughts. And it was awesome.

Tara Reid Enjoys Her Enormous Success in St. Tropez

I can't put my finger on exactly what it is about Tara Reid that makes me want to shout "Knock it off, Tara Reid!".  Is it her hair extensions?  The fact that she had liposuction in 2004 at 110 pounds?  Or is it just that she continues to fund a decade long party with American Pie earnings?

Fresh out of rehab, Tara partied on a yacht in St. Tropez with her German entrepreneur boyfriend, Michael Axtmann.

Pics of the lucky guy after the jump.

Michael Jackson's Hair to be Turned into Diamonds

Because seriously, did you expect a saner conclusion to the man's life? 

LifeGem, the company that makes treasurable diamonds from dead people is going to make a limited edition diamond from the singed locks of Michael Jackson's hair. 

 

"Our plan is to give people an opportunity to own a diamond made from Michael Jackson's DNA," said Dean VandenBiesen, founder of LifeGem. 

Oh no. NOT CREEPY AT ALL. 

Gisele Bundchen's Baby Bump Retouched for London Fog Ads; In Other News, Photoshop Lessons Now Available Online!

Pregnant Gisele Bundchen, who is expecting her first child with husband Tom Brady, appears almost nekkid in a sexy new London Fog ad campaign but her baby bump is nowhere to be found. According to a press release from the company, "...Most of the shots have been retouched to respect her privacy during this wonderful and personal time in her life.” Although, curiously, the statement then goes on to read, “Nobody is sexier or more beautiful than Gisele Bundchen in nothing but a London Fog trench coat, even with her visible baby bump."

Which leaves me with two questions:

1) If nobody is sexier than a pregnant Gisele Bundchen, why Photoshop her pregnant belly?

And

2) What kind of lame ass airbrushing job is that?

Jon Gosselin Doesn't Want To Admit He Is Dating Two Women Because Of Custody Fight

Alternate title: Jon Gosselin doesn't want to admit he is a total sleazeball.

A week after 22 year old Hailey Glassman gushes over her love for Jon, he broke up with her.  And started dating Kate Major, who has a whopping 4 years on Hailey, at 26.  Kate even quite her job at Star magazine to pursue the relationship after he took her to the Hamptons with, get this, Michael Lohan.

If that is his parenting model these kids are in more trouble than I thought.  And can someone, anyone, explain to me how this guy keeps getting 20 year olds to fall for him?  I do not get the appeal.

German Tabloid Calls Britney Spears Fat

I can't believe I am writing about Britney Spears again either. Even more shocking is the fact that I am about to defend her.

You see, after Britney put on a shitty show in Germany her angry fans told a tabloid magazine that her concert wasn't worth the price of a ticket and that she was fat.

I believe the first part of that. While I will begrudgingly admit that some of the tunes Max Martin wrote for her were infuriatingly catchy, I think Spears is a pretty mediocre singer at best and what I've seen of her stage show on television bores the crap out of me.

But do I think she is fat?

Coming to Terms with Russell Brand

Last year, during the VMAs, I realized a few things. 1) I exited the MTV demographic several years ago and I'm cool with that because 2) ALL OF THIS MUSIC SUCKS and 3) Russell Brand was most decidedly unfunny. His jokes fell flat and his presence just added fuel to the fire of annoyance that was that show and I wrote him off as Just Another Person I Hate (and there are lots of them).