The Test Is Positive: I'm Addicted to 16 and Pregnant

When I first heard about MTV's new show, 16 and Pregnant, I cringed a little. In my opinion, MTV is not exactly a somber source for commentary on social issues, at least not lately. Think back to the first season of The Real World, when the cast members discussed things like finding a job, being young and broke, race, sexuality, AIDS, politics. More recent seasons have found the cast members discussing pressing issues like hot tubs, alcohol, and being a bitch.
I really did not want to see some sensationalized, Springer-esque depiction of teen pregnancy.

I know that teen pregnancy is one of those things that's incredibly easy to scoff at, but I've always felt uncomfortable with, if not outright offended by, the chorus of, "You're stupid! You've ruined your life! You've ruined your baby's life, you big dumb statistic!" I was not a teen mom, but I was what nearly everyone in my life considered a "young mom." I had my son soon after I turned 23, while I was still in college and working part-time at a record store. My boyfriend (now my husband) was only 22 when our son was born, he was a part-time pizza delivery guy and we had been together just over a year. (If you do the math, you'll realize that I got pregnant around the 4-month anniversary of our relationship. So...YEAH. Shit was stressful.) No money. No insurance.

We faced a LOT of judgment from friends and family. There were many declarations of, "How could you be so stupid? This will totally screw everything up for you! Your relationship will never survive this!" And as anyone who has been through a stressful, unplanned pregnancy can attest, at that point in your life things seem pretty uncertain at best, and you start wondering if everyone will be right about you.

Anyway, my point is, I didn't want to watch some extremely judgmental show about teen mothers because I feel a certain kinship with them. And really, all mothers get judged enough. There's no need for us to separate each other into categories and beat each other down, you know? Plus, judging and poking fun doesn't really help the fact that there are actual lives involved.

So far, I've been pretty impressed with 16 and Pregnant. They seem to have genuinely made an effort to find mothers from various backgrounds, though I think we've yet to see a mom from a more solidly lower-class background who has to deal with public assistance and all of the stigma that goes along with that. But I suppose that's a whole other can of worms.

I think what they've been at least somewhat successful in doing is allowing the actual people involved in these situations to speak their truth, not just allow the stereotypes to write the show for them. All of the parents that have been on the show so far have had considerable difficulty with their relationships. And I think that's fair. It's very stressful to enter the very beginning stages of adulthood with a child on your hip and I've yet to see a couple that has handled a newborn without at least a little bit of grumpiness.

However, they do show these teens as parents. The way that they gaze at their babies is a universal display of love and wonder that transcends age and experience. So I hope that people who tune into the show salivating with trainwreck lust and the immature desire to feel above some other member of society are able to see that, despite the difficult circumstances surrounding them, the people featured on the show are PARENTS with actual CHILDREN and they need understanding and support. Not judgment and ridicule.

As for being, eh, responsible with portraying such a sensitive topic, MTV makes sure to ask what precautions the teens and their parents took and try to get their thoughts on why those precautions didn't work. Some were very open with sex talks and some not so much, so it isn't quite an abstinence-only-vs-comprehensive-sex-education minefield, at least not yet, but there seems to be a very pragmatic air of, "Sometimes, shit happens." And I can respect that. Especially since that is sort of the story of my pregnancy. Heh. Also, it's sponsored by Trojan.

So far, I've really felt a lot of sympathy for Maci and Farrah. Maci's boyfriend slowly but surely freaks out over his young fatherhood and displays this with avoidance and/or hostility toward Maci and their son. But Maci does an excellent job of trying to figure out what is best for her and her son, despite only being 16. Farrah is single, but has to contend with her mother, who of course wants the best for her daughter but tries too much to order Farrah around. It's pretty cool to see these young women to mature and develop a thicker skin, but still acknowledge their vulnerabilities. Check them out:

MTV's 16 and Pregnant - MTV Shows

MTV's 16 and Pregnant - MTV Shows

16 and Pregnant airs new episodes Thursday nights at 10 p.m., and full episodes are available online. Have you seen the show at all? Were you a young parent? If so, how did you feel about its portrayal of young parenthood?

Comments

[Alyssa]

Yes yes to everything you said. We were 21 and 22 and 4 months along at the wedding, although we were engaged when we got pregnant. Judgment, doubt, shock, predictions of early divorce, all of the above. AND I'm totally hooked on this show, too. DH and I always look and it and go "thank god we weren't teenagers". The maturity level of most of the boys on the show at that age is the scariest thing to me. Because I know my DH had a few years on those boys but sometimes I felt like I had two babies to take care of.

I have been really impressed with the maturity the girls in particular gain throughout their experiences. I think the show really emphasizes to teenage girls that the consequences for sex at that age usually falls mostly on their shoulders most of the time. They always seem to be the ones getting up at night and in the morning, staying up late at night, sacrificing school, activities, basically their entire childhoods. Some of the guys hardly even bother to show up to meet their own kids. One guy took another girl to prom while his pregnant ex sat at home. From what I've seen MTV is doing a good job of showing an actual reality for once without being preachy or judgy.

[KBO]

I think Maci, Amber, and Ebony did a great job handling their responsibilities, but Farrah's a brat. Seriously, bratty, bratty, bratty. Pretty much everything she did annoyed me, including not tell the baby daddy she was pregnant.

I do like that they show that having a baby isn't all peaches and roses. I'd like to see a single teen dad profiled, though I suppose it would be difficult to arrange that.

[Gaby]

The video for Farrah is no longer available, but based on the screen capture, I'm thinking that's the episode I saw. I, too, was pleased to see the topic handled in a respectful way versus a Jerry Springer-esque manner. Although, if the episode was the one I'm thinking of, it was hard to see Farrah's mom belittle her daughter like she did--refusing to consider looking at a style of car? hitting her daughter for back talking her? That mother-daughter interaction really upset me and left me hoping that the young mom was able to find an alternative situation in which to raise her child.

[kdiddy]

"including not tell the baby daddy she was pregnant"

I got a feeling that the dad might have been abusive and/or completely psycho. It was weird how, in this small town, she wasn't harassed more by him, when he was obviously very possessive. Perhaps there were legal issues involved which is why he wasn't discussed much. In any case, I think there was more to her decision not to tell him than just being bratty, you know?

[Rhonda]

Wow – I haven’t heard of this show – but I’m going to try and tune in.

I was pregnant with my first child at 18, a mom at 19. His biological dad is long gone. He was adopted by my husband. Now he is 17 and it scares the crap out of me. I can’t believe I was so young when I got pregnant. Only a year older then he is now. I was headed down a horrible road. I really turned my life around. I knew that he deserved more. So he saved me in a way, which is an awfully big job for a baby. But we turned out okay. He’s wonderful, much better then I was.

[Lena]

I was appalled at the way Farrah's mother treated her throughout the episode. I REALLY loved it when Farrah asked her mom if she would be willing to help with the baby some at night, and her mom said, "Probably not. I need my sleep." Horrible, horrible woman! I think Farrah showed enormous maturity in the face of her mother's behavior and attitude!

[Keli]

I've been pleasantly surprised how well MTV has done. Each woman's story comes off as complex. It's not just "look at these stupid pregnant girls."

I am a little concerned about the fathers on this show. So far, most of them just seem like lazy dumbasses. I'm hoping one of them steps up here pretty soon and gets his shit together. Stop going out and getting drunk and buying Playstations with diaper money and taking naps instead of watching the baby.

Come on guys! I'm rooting for you!

[Mrs Chaos]

I have to admit that I'm surprised by the review. I was 19 (boyfriend/now husband was 18) when my daughter was born and the LAST thing I would've wanted around me were cameras documenting every heartache and hard time surrounding her birth. (She was a miracle and a wonder...the situation and timing was not ideal.)

12 years later, I'm proud of how far our little family has come. My husband and I are still married and have two beautiful daughters. We're very lucky.

And yet I still don't know if I'll ever watch the show.

[christina]

I was 17 when I had my little one, and I wish I had seen this shown then. I like that they go beyond just the birth and show how stressful relationships get when you had a little one into the mix. The girls on the show seem very mature, it makes me cry remembering going through the same shit. I'm so proud of all the moms. MTV actually suprised me.

[LovelyLayla]

Are you on the Bump? LOL.

[LovelyLayla]

Seriously, what happened to MTV? Gone are the days of Pedro and Jon the Cowboy. Instead we have been subjected to Sweet 16 and Next, which shows teens/college students that it's okay to be a spoiled brat and promiscuous. I was relieved when they premiered "True Life" and even more so when 16 came about. After the whole Bristol Palin thing, I think it's good MTV is offering a real life perspective on what pregnancy is like, especially at that age.
I hope that MTV starts coming back to the programs they once had. Now that TRL is out of the way, I think they should focus more on these types of shows, instead of rich bitches getting BMW's and strippers at their 16th birthday parties.

[Cassie]

I think the show's an awesome counterbalance to that trainwreck on ABC Family, "The Secret Life of the American Teenager." I've never seen it, but the commercials for it make me cringe. The girl in that show still has this perfect life: a boyfriend who's very involved, parents who love and support her, etc. etc. And that's not always the reality. For the lucky ones it is, but not for everyone.

I think "16 and Pregnant" does a great job of showing the reality of teen pregnancy, both the good and the bad aspects. It's so REAL, and so far I'm impressed with the job that MTV has done with it.

[[mark]]

your (dead on) indictments of "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" notwithstanding....

it has Molly Ringwald.

Molly. Freakin'. Ringwald.

Nuff said...

[TasterSpoon]

I think I saw five minutes of that episode just by chance, and saw that line where she asked her mom for help. It broke my heart. Although what really broke my heart was that she wasn't even fazed by her mom's callousness. Was her mom trying to 'teach her a lesson' that babies are a lot of work? A little late for that. Anyway, it made me sad so I turned the channel. Maybe I'll check it out again.

[Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy]

I was 20 when I gave birth to my daughter. I always feel a kinship to teen moms. The "how could you be so stupid" lectures sort of make me cringe. I just started watching this show. Did you watch tonight? Whitney's Meemaw was a firecracker. She was cussing the hell out of everyone. However, I wrote down some pretty awesome quotes from her like, "who in the hell you think you are? Paris damn Hilton?" when Whitney confronted her about putting her dollar bills in slot machines.

[maranda]

well im gave birth to my son at the age of 17 and my bf was 18. It was a shock cuz we didnt know i was pregnet, i went to the doctors 3 times and she was like everything is fine, i got my period the whole time, my tummy wasnt even big, like noone could tell i didnt even know till the end of december, like i felt something slimy move in my tummy and was like ok i will wait 2 weeks and see if it goes away or not. 2 weeks after i gave birth to my baby boy that is now 7 months old and love him to death couldnt ask for a better baby