The Tragic Tale of DJ AM

When Adam Goldstein, better known as DJ AM died this weekend under mysterious circumstances, anyone who knew his story was understandably shocked and saddened. The 36 year old spin master was a former drug addict, clean for nine years, and had amazingly survived a plane crash last year wherein he and friend and collaborator Travis Barker were the only two to make it out alive. If people have nine lives, DJ AM was living proof.

Well, now he's dead. Found in his NYC apartment amidst drug paraphernalia, AM was located by police after not being heard from for several days. He was already dead when the police broke down his door. So what happened? How could a man who had escaped death on more than one occasion end up like this? Some people may dismiss this as another junkie celeb who got sloppy and ended up dead, but take a look at some evidence that could change that tune.

Everyone's favorite psychiatrist to the stars, Dr. Drew Pinsky, blames the painkillers that AM was prescribed after the plane crash one year ago, which caused him severe burns.

"It very slowly and subtly reawakens addiction," Pinsky says. "I'm not saying it was inappropriately prescribed, I'm saying he didn't know the risks."

Others say that a recent breakup crushed AM, leaving him depressed and despondent. There's no real answer as to why an addict who has a ton of clean time picks up again, but these are some possibilities.

Addiction is a hell of a disease, and perhaps the disbelief that so many celebrities used Twitter to express when news of AM's death broke will grow into a deeper realization that addiction lingers long after someone gets sober, as AM had been for over nine years. He was even about to premiere "Gone Too Far" a reality show for MTV that followed AM as he reached out to addicts in the hopes of helping them to get clean.

So what the hell went wrong? Was it survivor's guilt over the plane crash? Four people died that day last September, while AM and Barker were able to flee from the wreckage. Or was it the painkillers, as addictive as any other drug, that opened the door to AM's dormant addiction? Or could it have been his recent heartbreak over a girl? We may never know, but what we do know is that this didn't have to happen, and that if you've got someone in your life who struggles with addiction, remember that the addiction is a sleeping dragon, something that can be awakened at any time, even if the person has been clean for years.

Hopefully the sad story of DJ AM will remind people who struggle with addiction that the fight is long and hard, and show people who are loved ones of addicts that this is a disease that never really goes away. It's too late for DJ AM, and that's a hell of a tragedy, but hopefully his passing will do what Adam Goldstein wanted to do - help other addicts to live through their disease, and come out clean on the other side.

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Comments

[rebecca]

my husband is 8 years clean (meth), and it is still something he struggles with. he told me that the craving will hit in any situation, like a sledgehammer, even 8 years later. I am proud of him every day for making the choice to stay clean.
My prayers are with the family and friends. Such a sad day.

[BaltimoreGal]

Very well said, Miss. B.

[Rhonda]

This was a heart breaker. Gone too soon.

[marty]

I love the empathy you have shown here. There is no way we can understand the physical and emotional pain he has been in since that crash. Add to that a history of addiction, and really all that is appropriate to say - is what you have said.

[laurie]

Nice post. I've been thinking about this a lot this weekend. I imagine that no one could know the extent of his stress about that plane crash, which must have played out over the past year in such weird ways. Having your whole life be so public must really screw with the brain at times like that too.

Also, to be that intimately involved with other addicts in trouble while going through some deep shit yourself could be a trigger as much as a wakeup call.

He seems from what I read to have been a very loved person and it really sucks that that honestly can't save you when it gets that deep, but the loss of people in my life from similar addictions has shown me that it can't. I am sorry for him that he died alone, but addiction is the worst kind of isolating thing. I hope the people who loved him best find solace. It's hard to live thinking about how things could have turned out differently when the reality is they just didn't.