Top Chef Vegas Episode 2 Recap: The Bachelor/ette Party

It all began with the high stakes quick fire. The contestants walked into the kitchen and were greeted by Todd English and a big ass craps table.

They had to roll the dice to see how many ingredients they could use in their dish (salt, pepper and oil were freebies) which they had to make out of things they found in the pantry. Nobody wanted to roll a two and nobody wanted to roll a 12 but everybody wanted to win the $15,000.

Poor Laurine got a three, so she made a soup out of asparagus, leeks and lemon.

(spoilers after the break)

I think the top three in this quick fire could be a preview of the finals. Michael V., Jennifer C. and Kevin are my top three picks as the ones to watch.

Mikey V. won with the Nitro gazpacho, compressed cucumbers and toast - which has inspired me. I am naming my next band Nitro Gazpacho. We'll be a death metal fusion band. We will call our first album Compressed Cucumbers and Toast. It is going to be a concept album, but I'm not telling you what it is going to be about or you will try to steal my ideas. (I'm looking at you , Whit.) You can use Mushy on Mushy which is not only how Todd English described Jesse's quick fire dish, but also a pretty good name for an album or a sculpture.

But back to the show.

The main challenge was a boys against girls group contest. The chefs had to cook for a bachelor/bachelorette (the boys cooked for the girls, the girls cooked for the boys) and they had to work their menus around three shots.

Yeah, it is stupid, but it is Vegas, and at least it is a new challenge.

Anyway, a few of the people were upset by the challenge for a myriad of reasons:

Jennifer was pissed because she thinks there should be no difference between boys and girls. I say 1) see biology and 2) give it a rest. You can't draw knives every week. It is only one day.

Ashley was upset because as a lesbian she can't get married. I completely empathize and support same sex marriages 100%, but dude - this is a show about cooking, not about civil rights. They are trying to use Las Vegas themed ideas and a quick wedding in Vegas is a part of our culture. (Tom Colicchio says it better here.)

Whatever people. Relax. Have some dip. They both have valid points, but really they were just mad because the men on the show are a stronger group of chefs.

Aside: Why does this guy always wear this kerchief?

 

So the guys made a bunch of food and and the ladies made some food (seriously people there were 16 individual dishes, if I talked about them all this week you would all have long white beards by the time I was done) and I'm not sure Padma was wearing pants.

 

So the men won. Duh.

And not duh because I am sexist or because I don't think that women can be great chefs (see: Monica Pope, April Bloomfield, Anita Lo etc) I just think that most of the heavy hitters on this season (except Jennifer Carroll) just happen to have penises.

Peni?

The big loser was Eve, and not to be cruel, but I am pleased because I don't think I could listen to her speak for another week. I don't know if it was her accent or her tambre but it was like nails on a chalkboard to me. Good Lord, somebody get her a tape recorder and a voice coach. 

The big winner was Bryan with his Lime Macaroon. The Votaggio's swept episode two. Their parents must be calling everybody they know.

Okay, I'll be back next week with another recap. For now, I need a nap, and one of those macaroons.

[photos: Bravotv.com]

Comments

[Jill]

I was glad Eve was gone too. Wanted her to go last week. She just bugged me something fierce!

[She Likes Purple]

I had this odd urge to kick Eve through the entire episode. Close your mouth! Make a facial expression! Do SOMETHING!

Kevin's my pick to win it all.

I get feeling kind of shitty around weddings in general when the laws suck so hardcore, but let's not get angry at the Top Chef producers for acknowledging weddings exist.

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

Right. The laws are shitty, but they don't stop straight people for
occasionally marrying one another.

And I agree. Kevin seems to be a solid badass.

[tonya]

Kevin's my pick as well. As long as this season doesn't pull another Hosea, I think we'll be right.

Ashley had a solid point, but she could have let it go instead of whining about it the entire episode. She's a chef. This can't possibly be the first time she's had to work a wedding.

The macaroons must've tasted delicious because the concept completely baffled me.

[Accidental Housewife]

And didn't they do a wedding cake last season? You'd think that would be more controversial.

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

And a couple of years ago they DID cater a commitment ceremony.

I know it isn't the same thing, but Top Chef doesn't make the laws.

[Darcey]

Jen C., Kevin & Mikey V. are my top 3, in that order. We have a fantasy football-style TC contest in my office, and those were my faves.

I haven't watched the episode yet (but I knew the results from the office points recap), but am SO GLAD to hear that Eve left -- she was just all-around annoying.

(And yay again for Kevin - if Jen doesn't take it, there are no complaints from me if Kevin does - would love to see more Atlanta props!)

[BaltimoreGal]

Jen C., Kevin, and Bryan V.! THAT'S RIGHT! I picked the other Voltaggio because I like him better.
And if Mike the Douche makes it to the finals, I will be PISSED.

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

I need to have a fantasy Top Chef thing! That sounds awesome.

[Suzy Q]

Padma was wearing formal shorts. Actually, a formal-shorts jumpsuit. Either one is just plain wrong.

I agree with the stoppage of all the whining about gay rights and boy vs. girl stuff. I'm supportive and really don't give a rat's ass who marries whom, but this is a cooking show! Get offa yo' damn soapbox and COOK! (I blame the editors for showing all that angst.)

I really like those twin boys and EVERYTHING they're cookin' up!

[BaltimoreGal]

Just to clarify, they're not actually twins...

[kyslp]

I was happy that Eve got Das Boot, also. I was thinking about using the closed captioning to avoid stabbing someone when she spoke.

[Fairly Odd Mother]

Shoot, I missed this episode and I blame a small hotel room with three kids who needed to sleep. Hope to catch it on rerun but appreciate the commentary.

My sister and I would name our metal band, "Indigenous Norwegian Rock" after something used to make the awards at the Olympics years ago. I think our band and Nitro Gazpacho will be in the Battle of the Bands finals.

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

Good thinking!

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

Well, Nitro Gaspacho is going to be pretty heavy, but Indigenous Norwegian
Rock sounds like black metal so we might be a little scared of you guys.

[Fairly Odd Mother]

You do have a point. Especially since you have to say Indigenous Norwegian Rock in the same deep, thunderous voice as the guy who says "Sunday Sunday Sunday" for the monster truck rallies. But with a British accent.

Don't worry, I think we'll all overdose within a week leaving you guys to sweep the charts.

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

RAWK!

[Goddess in Progress]

While Eve's accent didn't bother me too much (as a native Midwesterner), it was the fact that she always kind of had her mouth open, ready to whine, that she bugged me. Oh yeah, and she didn't seem so great in the kitchen, either.

And Ashley, for cripes sake, get over yourself. I'm all about marriage equality, seriously. But are you never going to cook for a straight married couple because they have something you can't have? I'm all about getting worked up over social injustices, but for the love of Pete, you're a chef. Cook, or go home.

[Just Shireen]

It's two episodes in and I'm already tired on the We're Brothers and We're Rivals, but We Love Each Other, but I WANT TO WIIIIN! which I realize is more Bravo and editing than the Brothers Voltaggio.

Nevertheless, Nitro Gaspacho is a kickass band name.

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

I agree, and you can here in the interviews that they aren't just
monologuing, but that they are answering questions about their brother.

[Issa]

I had to wait until today to read this, because I accidentally deleted this weeks episode, as I was watching it. Sigh. Anyway, I am so with you on the Ashley thing. Shit my SIL is a lesbian and just had a non-legal wedding. I get it, I FULLY do. But hai, this is a competition, a cooking competition. In Vegas. For lots of money. Get with it, stop bitching or go home.