Gossip Girl Recap!

So, I watch Gossip Girl. Do you watch Gossip Girl? Come on, you can admit it. You can even say you just watch it for the clothes even if also watch it to lust after boys who are just so damn young. I'm not a causal, when-nothing-else-is-on-I'll-tune-in watcher, you should know, I'm a regularly-recorded-by-my-DVR, husband-knows-to-leave-me-be-on-Monday-nights viewer. I mentioned before I thought Leighton Meester is grossly overlooked by critics as Blair Waldorf, and I stand by that. So, Gossip Girl, one of those lovely guilty pleasures I don't feel all that guilty about watching.

I'll be recapping this season's episodes, sometime each Tuesday.

Last night's episode was the second of the season. What did we miss the first episode of the season? All the post-Constance kids returned from summers abroad and summers in bed and they're gearing up to start various different colleges and ventures. Let's begin!

Blair is starting NYU and has opted to live in a dorm, to better brainwash the masses. She leaves Chuck's place, in pearls and heels (oh, Blair).

Dan is also heading to NYU for freshman orientation-type shenanigans, but has, thankfully, left his pearls at home. He stops for coffee, and is recognized by another student for his piece in The New Yorker's "20 Under 20" feature. Really? She recognized HIS FACE from his writing being featured in a magazine? This is either insane or she's a pro-googler. Whatever. She's Katie. He's flattered. And, wouldn't you know, she has a writer's group she'd like him to join! What a coincidence! Just like that, Dan is cool, and I'm taken back to my first day of college when I got lost, had to run across campus and then sat in my Anthropology class dripping with sweat for 45 minutes.

Serena is pouting as she packs for Brown while talking to Blair. Serena has been pouting for the last year. 

(Also, I'd really love to see these kids get new phones.)

Cue the NYU-dorm curbside move-in! Dan runs into Vanessa with her new creepy boyfriend, Scott, who is really Serena's and Dan's long-lost half-brother but only Creepy-Eyed Scott knows this. Could they have cast someone with less creepy eyes because all I can think when he's on screen is WHY DOESN'T SOMEONE ASK HIM WHAT HE'S UP TO, HE'S SO DAMN CREEPY? HIS EYES TOTALLY GIVE HIM AWAY!

Oooh, Serena shows up at Chuck's hotel room because she needs a place to stay. "I'm not going to Brown," she says dramatically in a loud whisper. She is either pouting or saying something dramatically in a loud whisper. This is all she does.

Blair seems to be hazing in her dorm room. No, wait, she's passing out gift bags with Tiffany boxes in them. That's the kind of hazing I could get behind. Just as she's feeling pretty good about her standing at NYU, Georgina arrives. She's Blair's roommate, as we remember she carefully orchestrated last year, and I have to say I really hate this character. OK, not the character but the actress. OK, I don't HATE the actress, but I hate the actress in this role. I don't think it's a good fit, and so whenever she's on screen, the scene feels forced and awkward, and I hate, hate, hate it.

Vanessa walks down the hall because she's also on that floor, and I have to stop here and ask, how big is NYU? It seems like this running-into-people-you-hate-from-high-school bit shouldn't be happening at NYU, right?

Also, I do not get Vanessa's style.

Blair calls Dorota. There's really only one thing that can save Blair's first week in college, and that's a party.

Serena is doing more pouting and dramatic whispering.

(Also, how incestuous is this show? In real life Ed Westwick (Chuck) is dating Jessica Szohr (Vanessa), Leighton Meester (Blair) is dating Sebastian Stan (Carter) and Penn Badgley (Dan) is dating Blake Lively (Serena), but on the show none of these people are kissing one another. They are all kissing someone else, and it's just weird. I wonder what lunch on set is like.)

Chuck and Serena are talking, and all I can think is Chuck looks very good in purple. Also, why do I find him to be the most attractive of the guys? I'm bothered by this, but there it is. Serena isn't going to Brown and Chuck wants to open a restaurant/speak easy, they confide in one another.

Then there's Nate, who spends this entire episode in bed with the girl from Reba (also Privileged) and I did not catch her name once. 

Chuck is in a business meeting in his room, and Serena loudly (oh, a new range for her!) barges in on her cell phone. Chuck looks annoyed. (Chuck looks good annoyed.) Somehow, Serena manages to mention to this investor Chuck is meeting with that she thinks opening a club is a great idea, and it's obvious very awkwardly and very quickly that Chuck hadn't mentioned the whole club/speak easy part of his idea to this man. Oops! To Serena's defense, if you wanted this whole grand plan to be a big fat lie, Chuck, you probably should have mentioned that to her.

The party that Blair wanted to throw turns out to be a sushi party, and a sushi party that no one is at except for one lone girl. Everyone else in the dorm is at a movie-watching party thrown by, yep, Georgina. Someone is using Blair's invitation as a coaster, and in the history of the world, I think Blair Waldorf is the very last person whose party invitation you'd want to use as a coaster.

Commercial break: The Invention of Lying preview! October 2, bitches!

Serena is now crashing at Dan's since she and Chuck are in a fight. Doesn't this girl have a credit card? Can't she crash at, oh, I don't know, a HOTEL? And not at her ex-boyfriend's cramped loft?

Georgina is taking the competition up a notch and throwing a Rooftop Rager. To Blair's credit, her invitations were way cooler than the hot pink fliers Georgina printed out at Kinko's. I love how the one emotion you should never show your competitor -- how genuinely PISSED OFF and FREAKED OUT you are, for example -- is the one emotion Blair always, always shows. Anyway, Blair is not happy about this rooftop party. Not at all.

Serena goes to talk to Rufus, for "fatherly advice" it would seem, but Chuck has beat her to it. Oh, Serena is not happy about this betrayal, and zingers start flying. I think she storms out of the apartment (pouting, mind you) by saying to Rufus, "You're actually more afraid of my mother than I am." She immediately calls Carter to invite him out that night. WHAT COULD SHE BE UP TO!?

Blair stumbles upon Dan's writing group in the coffee shop, and you can actually SEE the thought bubble, "Dan is cool. I must use him mercilessly so I can be cool too." And, yes, this is a very predictable case of karma and the tables turning. Blair asks Dan to take her to Georgina's Rooftop Rager, and for some odd reason, I love Blair and Dan's scenes together. Gossip Girl writers, hear that! Write more scenes of Blair and Dan bantering and rolling their eyes at one another!

At the rager, Cobra Starship featuring Leighton Meester's "Good Girls Go Bad" is playing and you have to love that touch. As they walk into the party, Dan says to Blair, "No headbands in college, Blair," and takes off her headband, and, again, I hope to see this awkward, unexpected friendship showcased more often because, damn, the only time I seem to give a damn about Dan is when he's with Blair. Katie, the fan girl from the coffee shop, approaches Blair and asks if everyone in high school was jealous of Dan because he's such a great writer and Blair, without missing a beat, asks, "Dan's a writer?"

JON CRYER, MY GOD, HOW DID YOU GET THAT AWARD?

Nate is still in bed with that girl from Reba but I use these scenes to refill my wine glass and go to the bathroom.

Carter and Serena are at the bar and WOULDN'T YOU KNOW, Chuck is across the bar in a business meeting. She ruins Chuck's meeting -- you didn't see THAT coming, did you? -- and although I love her dress, I want to hit her.

At the rooftop party Creepy-Eyed Scott is talking to Dan, and Dan does not seem bothered by the Creepy Eyes. Now Scott is glaring. Creepy-Eyed, Glaring Scott. Blair takes over the mic and drops her bombshell. She's invited all of Georgina's churchey friends to crash the party! With Jesus pamphlets! But Dan saves Georgina's day and party and embarrasses Blair instead. Damn, NYU is tough on Blair.

Serena and Blair catch up on the steps of the MET and, god, life was so much easier in HIGH SCHOOL, WAH. Blair goes back to Chuck's room and crawls into bed with him.

Serena is waiting for Carter outside of ... somewhere. She tells him she wants him! He's the only one who understands! She trusts him! She's sorry! He wants her too! They kiss! These exclamation points are very sarcastic.

Georgina and Dan wake up on the roof the next morning and they kiss, which is gross. And weird. Unless the rager was so good they're still drunk.

So, there you have it. Gossip Girl is in college, yo.

Comments

[jodifur]

I love Gossip Girl. And 90210. And Melrose Place. I'm actually 12.

[Jill]

I guess I'm 12, too. I'm also all about One Tree Hill. The CW is my crack.

[Anya]

I also think Scott is creepy, but I am holding off judgement - because when Gossip Girl first aired, I thought Chuck was creepy. And, NOW - I love me some Chuck. While watching Gossip Girl, I at times compare Chuck to Edward and say "yeah - he would make a good Edward too". So, now I sound a little creepy. As you were.

[Karen Sugarpants]

It was all so very Cruel Intentions last night, wasn't it?
I still can't stand Chuck Bass. He's all squinty like Renee Zellweger. Annoyance.

[ravenlynne]

Just a point of correction: At the coffeeshop Katie apologized to Dan for eavesdropping on his phone conversation where she heard his name and that's how she recognized him.

[JAR]

Thanks for the recap. I missed the show and forgot to set my DVR. Obviously, the husband let me down on my teenage-TV addiction this week. I'm glad I'm not the only one!