Why Do Some of My Favorite Directors Keep Doing Me Wrong?

It seems that Kurt and I both had the unfortunate experience of seeing Extract this past weekend. In fact, I spent much of the morning writing about all of the ways it sucked, only to look up and see that Kurt had beaten me to the punch. So, with that out of the way, I'll expand on the related rant that I included with my review.

Mike Judge is the creator of my beloved Beavis and Butt-head and two of my all-time favorite films, Office Space and Idiocracy. Because Mike Judge created all of that awesome that I just mentioned, there was no question that I would be seeing his new movie as soon as possible.

Here's the thing about Extract...

It sucks.

It does. It's boring, it meanders, it wastes the talent of everyone involved, and worst of all it's not even remotely funny.

(Note: there are some spoilers ahead because I don't give a fuck.)

Jason Bateman plays Joel, the owner and head chemist of a company, Reynold's, that makes flavorings and extract. Joel and his employees are very close and he knows each of them by name. The company is poised to be purchased by General Mills, obviously a big deal. Due to some bickering amongst the employees on the line one day, one employee is the victim of an unfortunate accident that leaves him with only one testicle. The employee, Step, is perfectly satisfied to take the large insurance settlement and go on with his life. That is, until beautiful con-lady Cindy (Mila Kunis) comes to town and convinces Step to sue Reynold's. The General Mills people pause in their offer-making due to the accident, the lawsuit, and an aborted strike by the dim-witted employees.

Besides this whole debacle, Joel is kind of attracted to Cindy who, as part of her con job, obtained a temp position at Reynold's. While there, she pickpockets the employees and lets a Mexican co-worker take the blame. Anyway, Joel is conflicted over his attraction to Cindy because he's married, but his wife, Suzie (Kristen Wiig), has been less than amorous for some time. But! Joel's buddy/favorite bartender, Dean (Ben Affleck), has the greatest idea: they'll hire a male prostitute to trick Suzie into cheating, thereby morally freeing Joel to pursue Cindy. The plan works, partly aided by Joel's impaired judgment due to Ketamine, but now Joel isn't so sure about Cindy, his suspicions leading him to investigate her mysterious persona.

Also, Joel and Suzie have this really irritating neighbor, Nathan, who talks a LOT and really wants them to go to a rotary club dinner with him and his wife. His persistence on the matter finally causes Suzie to snap at him one day, directly or indirectly leading to his fatal heart attack. Joel and Suzie, who had separated because of Suzie's continued use of the male prostitute, reunite at the funeral.

That's. It. Sound boring? It was. Sound pointless? You bet. Sound dull and unfunny? Well, at least I got a power nap in.

As Kurt noted earlier, there appears to have been some attempt at symbolism with the broken walnuts and extract theme, ie, working people have no balls. Well, fuck you, Mike. If there's some deeper meaning that I'm missing, I'll just cryptically and metaphorically say that if Mike Judge wants me to wear 37 pieces of flair, then he should make the minimum 37 pieces of flair.

What was perhaps most upsetting about the whole thing was that Jason Bateman, Kristen Wiig, Mila Kunis, and Ben Affleck are outstanding comedic actors. I can only presume that Mike Judge was mad at somebody and dragged his friends into his shitty movie with him.

But this movie was only the latest in a number of cinematic disappointments for me this year. I was extremely excited about both Inglourious Basterds and Funny People. Quentin Tarantino and Judd Apatow are also responsible for some of my favorite movies. But, like Extract, I found them poorly crafted and definitely not up to the standards that the directors have set for themselves in my eyes. In fact, this recent trend of phoning it in now has me wary of Steven Soderbergh's upcoming The Informant and the Coen Brothers' A Serious Man.

In fact, the best movie that I saw this year was, hands down, Coraline, followed closely by Up. And the movies that I'm most looking forward to are 9 and Where the Wild Things Are. What do these movies all have in common? They're kids' movies. Somehow the artistic competition shifted and the ante for quality kids' movies has gone way up, leaving movies for grown ups to just kind of dick around, all drunk-like.

It's not that these guys are incapable of screwing up now that they've had a long track record of success. It's not that they're not human and prone to mistakes. I just want to make sure that they realize that they are on notice.

Comments

[rockle]

i'm bummed that so many people didn't like it -- i actually thought it was kind of cute. of course, i am completely and hopelessly in love with jason bateman, so. (then again, my husband liked it too, and i don't THINK he has the bateman crush thing going.)

[sassystitcher]

If you like music, go see It Might Get Loud. It'll make you feel better about movies in general. Thanks to you and Kurt for pushing me over the line to keep this one a rental.