Worst Boob Jobs Ever. No, Really. Ever.

Feeling a little down about The Girls?  A bit saggy?  A wee flat?  Allow me to make your day.  Here are a few of the worst boob jobs ever, celebrity and civilian alike.

Let's start with The Obvious.  Victoria Beckham.

It looks like she's carrying twins in a Baby Bjorn.

I don't know quite how to prepare you for the next one.  Let's just do it quick like a band-aid. (Mostly SFW.)

I don't know who this girl is.  But I thank the baby Jesus she is not me.

Here's another disturbing example of Uniboob:
 
Uniscared.

Bethenny Frankel. We love you, Bethenny.  We love you enough to tell you that we're nauseous.

 
Jewel. Fried Egg Boobs

 
Audrina Partridge. Canyon Cleavage

Tori Spelling. Mommywood?  Mommy shouldn't.

 
Kelly Bensimon (When she said "You're here and I'm here" to Bethenny, I think she was referring to her boobs.)

Reality TV star Aja (aka Tommy Lee's girlfriend)

 
Material Girl.  Aaand that material is silicone.

Now give yourself a hug and The Girls a jiggle.  Because it could be much much worse.

Comments

[Maria]

Madonna's are FAKE?

[Tracy]

Wow. Just... wow.

[Lauren]

GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSss.

[Jen.l]

Oh, my... just disgusting. Can't wait to see what those are really going to look like in 30-40 years, when everything sags except for the implants. Yum.

[Andrea]

How does something like the Uniboob one even happen? Don't they draw on you with marker first? Isn't that your chance to say, "No, really, I wanted two, thanks!"

[Bill]

Good or bad, I loves me some boobs. :)

(Although some of those are pretty bad, I'll admit.)

[Hockeymandad]

Ew. I so prefer natural regardless of size or shape.

[Can Can (Mom Most Traveled)]

*dry heave*

[Lisa @ Unfiltered Insanity]

that was one of the most disgusting things ever. like... for reals. there were several with the "fried egg" issue and I thought I was gonna hurl. Now... not so hungry.

[Y]

I feel weak in the vagina.

[Jenn_C]

*HURB*

I'll keep mine as is, thanks.

[marty]

Jewel should have spent that money on her teeth instead.

[dizzblnd]

suddenly, ny naturally saggy 30something year old size 38c boobs don't look so bad after all!

Lee of MWOB sent me from twitter ;)

[Snarky Amber]

Seriously. If I'm rich, flat-chested and have that snaggletooth, here are my priorities: 1. INVISALIGN! 2. Oo, yay, I don't have to wear a bra! 3. Roll around in my money with my invisible braces on.

[DianaCLT]

You know how cookies and pancakes sometimes ooze together when baking? Yeah - that's kinda how I'm figuring the uni-boobs happened. Maybe, when the implants were actually being made in a factory somewhere, they melted together? And, maybe, the makers didn't want to just waste all that precious silicone, so they discounted them (a la Big Lots! for plastic surgeons)? And, *maybe*, some people are just so desperate for bigger boobs, despite their lack of funds, that they are willing to take these uni-abnormalities and actually have them implanted into their chests, at Clearance price??

Just a thought.

[Anonymous]

YUCK!

[sarasophia]

This is why I love MamaPop.

Where else can I find this kind of quality information?:)

I <3 you guys--can't wait to show hubby this! HA!

[TwoBusy]

Um... what the fuck is it, exactly, that I'm seeing in that Aja picture? Because to be honest, it looks like something out of Total Recall and I'm pretty sure it scares the bejeezus out of me.

[Sweetney]

I love that Madonna's necklace reads "HARD." It's as if she's describing the feel and consistency of her bewbs.

[Tricia Honea]

That was just gross. Can't you get those things fixed?

[Tina@SendChocolate]

I will keep my little 34B's with the push-up bra, thanks! At least they are 1) separate and 2) have cleavage.

Thanks for reminding me that it could be much worse.

[steff]

omg, i love you! we so need more posts like this...

[Christie]

I feel sick looking at these, and have a new found gratefulness for my all-natural boobs. :^)

[Sarcastic Mom]

There are no words.

Just a river of tears.

I am bowing my head in an infinite moment of silence.

There is no decency.

Bewb Mutilation?

*weeping*

[Sweetney]

That uniboob photo with the baby oil? The stuff of future nightmares. GAG.