David Letterman Got Caught With His Hand In The Cookie Jar

Oh, David David David.  Must you end up being like all the rest?

David Letterman announced on last night's Late Show that he received a package 3 weeks ago from an individual attempting to extort $2 million from him in exchange for keeping Letterman's affairs with staff members a secret.

(I suggest taking a very deep breath NOW. This isn't going anywhere good.)

Letterman then divulged that he had contacted the Special Prosecution Bureau of the Manhattan D.A.'s office., which in turn cut a phony $2 million check to the alleged extortionist who was arrested today.

Letterman went on to admit that it was true: he had had sexual relationships with members of his staff and that he had testified to that fact before a grand jury earlier in the day. 

(Which, um? UM?)

(SEX. WITH HIS STAFF.)

(Just please tell me it wasn't Paul Shaffer.)

(Or that freaky red-haired dude.)

(Oh, GOD.)

(I think that we all need to take a moment.)

**MOMENT**

Here's the video from last night's show, for your edification:

Within hours of this announcement, the identity of the alleged extortionist was revealed.

Robert Halderman, a 51-year-old employee of "48 Hours" was arrested for suspected attempted grand larceny in the first degree.  He has been suspended from "48 Hours" pending results of the investigation. Presumably, he is spending his suspension hanging out at home, alone with his massive cojones, wondering how he could possibly have failed in Operation Ima Take Down David Letterman All Y'all!

Somewhat relatedly, David Letterman married Regina Lasko, his girlfriend of 23 years and mother to his son Harry, in March.  I don't know about you, but I'm seeing David's clothes all over the lawn.

And maybe an alienation of affection suit from Paul Shaffer.

Comments

[Sweetney]

I know this will be unpopular, but I'm frankly amazed at how well he handled this. How honestly, openly, and yes, funnily. It's a nightmare -- I mean, can you imagine?

[kdiddy]

HO. LEE. SHIT.

[Alyssa]

well he definitely doesn't cop to them being extra-marital affairs in that clip, if that's what they were... it seems unclear. I mean, it's a good bet it's been within the last 23 years, though, and he seems content to gloss over that fact, which the audience apparently finds hilarious. There was something very twilight-zone about that confession. I'm still not totally sure what's going on and it sounds like his audience members had NO clue.

[Diane]

I'm with Sweetney here. Considering we don't know the details of the relationships (or the status of his relationship with his current wife at the time), I think the way he handled this took ENORMOUS chutzpah. Like, how badass do you have to be to say, "Yeah, go ahead, try to extort money for some SCANDAL. How about I just announce it to my millions of viewers while your ass goes to jail?" Betting Mr. Extortionist didn't see that one coming.

[Kim]

Not that I condone it, but it doesn't come as a great surprise that David Letterman was having affairs with women other than his longtime girlfriend. Again, not that I condone it, but some people have open relationships, and what does and doesn't fly is up to them. I am glad, though, that David had the balls to just come right out with it and not pander to the blackmailer.

[michele]

nothing says she didn't know about it. and you are right nothing says it was while he was married. i think he did the right thing. and really--is anyone shocked? of course he got around with someone or the other on that show. i bet everyone on that show has gotten with another crew/cast member. it is tv not the convent.

[The Queen of Hyperbole]

I'm not sure what this says about me, but I cried as I watched this. Shit, we all make mistakes. Kudos to Dave for beating the tabloids to the bunch, and for revealing this with, as Sweetney mentioned, humor and honesty.

[AmyC65]

I'm with Sweetney. I looooove David Letterman. LOVE. Would totally have sex with if were employed by David Letterman, btw. My 16 yr old son idolized the man and made me traipse all over 3 malls to find tassle loafers before I finally realized WHY they had to be tassles. It's a Dave thing. So, I read the blurb on my front page and automatically fired up the TiVo from lastnight. It was uncomfortable but I thought he handled it well, considering. ANd I pray Regina sticks with him. Who knows how much she has already known, and how long ago these relationships took place? Doesn't make it right, I know. But we shouldn't presume Regina is the last to know.

[Jessi]

I thought it was handled super-well. A guy on GMA this morning said that our elected officials could learn something from Letterman and I agree. How refreshing to just hear someone say, "Yep, this is what I did."

[iambellaluna]

Sweetney—add me to the "unpopular" side. I thought he handled everything swimmingly. Actually I think that's the best way he could have handled things. Now he comes out looking like the good guy (for someone who sexed up his staff) and the other guy looks like a large douchey villian for trying to take him down by blackmail.

[Jane]

This has absolutely no bearing on anything, but . . . I would never in a million years have guessed that the woman in that photo is married to David Letterman.

(I feel like an ass for saying it, but I can't be alone?)

[mstiegirl23]

Agreed. John Edwards could learn a lot from Dave Letterman. As any PR person will tell you, taking charge of the situation is 90% of the battle.

[Catherine]

TEAM LETTERMAN FTW!

[Palinode]

Well, that was exciting.

[Angela]

While I don't condone extramarital affairs (IF that's what happened, but like pp said, we don't know how long ago these happened), the best way to take away a blackmailer's power is to be honest. Truly this shows that honesty is the best policy. He's coming out of this smelling like a rose. Unlike several of our politicians.

And laughing at yourself? Best way to deal with something embarrassing like this too.

[lori]

I can't watch the clip (stupid job with it's stupid expecting me to work) but my first reaction when I read this was "why is it surprising that he had affairs with his staff?" Wasn't he known for his behavior previously? Drinking and carrying on etc.

I love LOVE David Letterman and the fact that he came forward with this is awesome. I have to think that his wife and he probably have worked all this stuff out if she's been with him for that long.

[Erin]

I commend his honesty (well, his honesty at this point in the game, anyway), but Jeebus H.--is EVERY famous dude a douche nowadays?

[Lena]

TOTALLY AGREE. Politicians could take away some pointers from this.

[tricia]

His affair was with his former assistant before he was married or before he had a kid.

that said, Team Dave FTW

[Regina (not married to Dave, darn)]

Ditto. Dave is Awesome. Handled beautifully. Wish John Edwards had been that smart.

[Erin]

Call me old-fashioned, but being in a monogamous relationship with someone (as he has apparently been with his now-wife for 23 years), whether you are married or not, means that sleeping with someone else = cheating. I don't get this justification of "he wasn't married and he didn't have a kid." He's human--I'm not saying good people don't do bad things--but being girlfriend-boyfriend rather than married doesn't make cheating okay in my eyes.

[Lisa]

Agreed, he handled it well... and this wouldn't really affect how I feel about him anyway, because consensual sleeping around amongst adults is their own business. That AND it's not like Dave has been holding himself out as a model of domesticity, for goodness' sake. John Edwards went wrong in a hundred ways, but the hypocrisy of his behavior was a big part of his problem. I don't think that enters into it for Dave.

[Andrew]

It's possible he and his wife have an open relationship. Who knows why they were together for so long without being married. Who knows what sort of arrangement they have now that they are married. I guess we'll know soon enough whether he and his wife split up over it.

I delight in the fact that Dave robbed the blackmailer of his power by taking it straight to the cameras.

[ozma]

I never care about celebrity scandals--and rarely about political sex scandals.

But Dave Letterman--I admit--I have always loved him. Maybe had a crush on him in grade school. I used to watch his morning show with my sister! But my interest is not really a crush. It's like--I think I get the Johnny Carson thing now--he's just so FAMILIAR. And funny.

My take on this is the whole thing is dumb. But it gets me because then I worry about Dave Letterman. I'm realizing that in an unconscious way, it has always bothered me when Leno had better ratings. Almost a Red Sox/Yakees thing--like 'are you a Leno person or a Letterman person?' Walmart or Target?

Then I realize I'm dumb.

It's only a SCANDAL, reasonably, if he made the woman/women sleep with him in threat of her/their job(s) or some such thing. I strongly suspect this was not the case. A quid pro quo situation. Otherwise, it just seems like someone's private life getting thrust into the public.

It's not the smartest thing to sleep with your staff. But it's not illegal. If you are in a monogamous relationship, it is wrong. But it is a private wrong.

Anyway, not a scandal unless this is 1859 or something.