Fresh Hell: Mall Cop Director to Remake Short Circuit

Here's some input I didn't really need: Steve Carr, the d-bag responsible for Paul Blart: Mall Cop, has been signed by Dimension Films to direct a remake of Short Circuit, the 1986 sci-fi-lite flick in which a robot out-acted Steve Guttenberg and Ally Sheedy, which is almost an impressive feat.

Steve Carr's other shameless directing credits include such unnecessary sequels as Next Friday, Dr. Dolittle 2, and Are We Done Yet? and fresh turds Daddy Day Care and Rebound.

Short Circuit, if you've forgotten, is about a military robot, Johnny 5, designed to be a cutting-edge warfare weapon that gets struck by lightning and develops a soul. He befriends local snack truck owner, Stephanie (Sheedy), and Newton Crosby (Guttenberg), one of the scientists who developed him. Stephanie and Newton work to protect Johnny 5 from the government, who seek to destroy the malfunctioning robot. Then some other stuff happens and the white actor who plays an Indian scientist says some funny, broken English things because nothing brings the lulz like dem dern foreigners, and Ally Sheedy cries, and El Debarge performs the theme song, and I think there might even be a moral in there somewhere.

Short Circuit was an HBO mainstay in the 80s and therefore I've seen it at least 600 times. I even watched the ill-advised sequel a couple of times.

However, I honestly don't know who will go to see this, unless Carr has actually developed a following of mouthbreathers who savor his ouevre. People do like paying to see themselves as caricatures mocked on-screen, though. And Carr's films have grossed about $300 million domestically. I guess the economy could use the boost. And I could use an excuse to get drunk and cry.

Comments

[iambellaluna]

Nooooo! Please world, DO NOT BASTARDIZE Short Circuit. Loved that movie in mah childhood...I don't think I'll love the remake Hollywood, Mmmkaythanxbai.

[marcoda]

Wanted: New Ideas
Please send to: Hollywood, CA

[mommymae]

johnny...5...is...alive!!!!!!

[BaltimoreGal]

The white guy playing an Indian scientist was FISHER STEVENS. How crazy is that?

[tom]

kdiddy, i have to pull your card. i've watched "Next Friday" with you at least 4 times. you know Mike Epps was hilarious in that shit.

anyway, it's not as if Short Circuit 2 didn't suck an insane amount anyway. i don't think anything could further tarnish the franchise's reputation after that turd.

[helenel]

Oh Lord, I thought you were talking about ALLAN Carr..he of "Can't Stop the Music" ("The Musical Comedy Smash of the 80's!"). It seemed right. Although, he did produce "Grease", as well.

[helenel]

Aaaand, gotta say, I kind of liked Paul Blart - barely any profanity, not much violence, cool parkour stunts, nice sentiment, Bobby Cannavale.

[atheists eat fish]

Let me just say from behind this barracade that I loved BOTH these movies. Also, Mall Cop was the only comedy that I've been to in years that my whole family-aged 6 to 40- enjoyed (#$%# off- no I'm not the forty year old, I just spend too much time in the sun. It is extremely difficult to find comedies that are anywhere near appropriate for the young teenagers that aren't geared toward two year olds. And, let me just say, it is not my fault that fat people and foreigners are funny (I am biased, however, as I am a chunky Mexican and I find my self hilarious).

[cz]

I liked Paul Blart Mall Cop, except only when it was Ben Klingston Mall Guard on Paulsen and Krenn on WDVE 102.5 morning shizow.

Short Circuit 2 was pretty bad except for the part where he breakdances.

Short Circuit the first one is awesome awesome awesome and should not be sullied by a remake. Worst idea ever.

T&K - Did yunz watch Friday After Next? I couldn't bring myself to.