Matt Damon and Ben Affleck Are Related? Sure Why Not.

Talk all the smack you want about the New England Geneological Society, but there's an organization that knows how to drop a bombshell.  According to the NEGS, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are more than just childhood friends and collaborators, if you get my drift.

Don't get my drift?  They are full-on tenth cousins, once removed (that vibration you just felt? The Earth. Shaking).  Both claim a common ancestor in Colin Farrell William Knowlton Jr., a bricklayer who came to the New World from England in the 1630s.

The ramifications for these scrappy Boston-born celebs will be far-reaching.  What will they tell their daughter Violet?  I'm a bit fuzzy on the law, but will she be permitted full citizenship in light of this scandalous development?  Or will she be exiled to Canada and forced to fight bears in the Toronto Arena?  And what's more, did Damon and Affleck know about their family bond before engaging on their life together?  Was their passion too strong to let their shared ancestry hold them back?

One day the answers will be known. And on that day I will be down at the pub, having completely forgotten about the whole thing.

Source

Comments

[tonya]

Isn't that the most exciting news you never needed to hear?

[Tracy H]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that thought this was ridiculous news. It also noted that Ben Affleck is also related to Princess Di and 16 US Presidents, including Barack Obama! Hellloo, really aren't we are related somehow????

[Palinode]

Also note that the source story doesn't specify that Matt Damon is related to anyone besides Ben Affleck. Could this mean that Matt Damon is only related to Ben Affleck? Could it? Well, no, but that would be pretty weird.

[iambellaluna]

OH MAH GAWD. MAH WORLD IZ CRUMBLING!!1!