Anvil Made Me Cry

I don't  watch documentaries because there is usually a distinct lack of killer robots or flesh-eating undead or terrible visions of future dystopias in them. But this weekend's Box Office had little to offer so I rented Anvil: The Story of Anvil, and was pleasantly surprised because even though it was about Canadians and heavy metal I still enjoyed it immensely.

I want it to be known right here and now that IF a guy cries during a Canadian heavy metal documentary it isn't because he's soft or weak. It's because he is so used to rocking hard and living fast and he is incredibly in touch with his emotional well-being and is so completely masculine that he is comfortable with himself being vulnerable. Also, the guys in Anvil are REALLY sincere and want to make it SO BAD, and being Canadian they are super-polite and hard-working, so guess what? Sincere.  That you can have a name like "Lips" and play a guitar with a dildo and still be sincere means you are probably the next stage of human evolution or something.

The other thing that was great about the documentary is it played like Spinal Tap for most of it and there were even nods to that great mockumentary only it was the guys in Anvil's real life so that makes it heart-breaking and and funny at the same time which is the trifecta of perfect feelings if "trifecta" meant "two" and not "three". I don't feel like looking up whether or not "duofecta" is a real word.  The point is it was like watching a dog give birth to a kitten. And the dog wants to love it because it just gave it life, but the kitten hates dogs on a instinctual level. And then a clown comes in and he's suicidally depressed and completely drunk and he blows a slide whistle. That's what Anvil: The Story of Anvil was like.  You'll cry too, I bet. Pussy.

I don't want to give away the ending, but you should go rent Anvil : The Story of Anvil even if you don't like heavy metal or Canadians being earnest or dildos because it really is a great story. Best documentary I've seen since that one where the bears ate that guy. That was awesome because he was trying to understand how bears behaved and ended up as a delicious snack. Go Bears!

Comments

[TwoBusy]

Outstanding, and I agree completely on all points. Including the one about the bears.

[schmutzie]

I LOVED ANVIL. I adored it. And it did make me feel really sad, but also warm and believing in humanity. Canadians + heavy metal = pure awesome.

[Jen O.]

I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but Canadians + anything = pure awesome.

Sorry.

(we Canadians say 'sorry' all the time, even if it isn't required or even appropriate)

Sorry.

[Irma]

Totally true: this past summer Anvil opened for AC/DC on all their Canadian dates, which should be the happy ending to all this, right? Except apparently the boys lost money on it, just paying for their bus cost more than what they were being paid. Like another Canadian band sang, "Rock and roll is a vicious game."