Dear Hollywood, Back Off of My Berenstain Bears. Please?

It seems many of Hollywood's recent movie hits are remakes and/or ripped from our childhoods, which I know is nothing new, but I kinda want them to back off my beloved memories a wee bit, yanno?

Confession: I wish Where The Wild Things Are had remained a classic book.  (Which yes, it still is, but the movie is so scary I won't take my 5 year old son to see it. It really should have remained a book where a child could fill in the blanks with his imagination.  I never imagined any chicken's arm getting ripped off, did you?)

Now I'm hearing rumblings about bring the beloved Berenstain Bears to the big screen. My Berenstain Bears.  *sob*

The Berenstain Bears are a true favorite in our house for their simple delivery of good morals in every story.  Walden Media CEO Michael Bostick says that the Berenstain Bears will get a 'make-overs' for a "slightly modern spin on their look."

Oh leave them alone, pretty please Hollywood?  Go makeover those slutty Bratz dolls, or Grey's Stupid Anatomy, or Jon Gosselin for douchebag's sake?

Director Steven Levy says, "I'd like the film to be un-ironic about its family connections but have a wry comedic sensibility that isn't oblivious to the fact that they're bears," Levy says. "The comedy comes from this bear family coexisting in a more recognizably real world.  I think the movie will be witty but never sarcastic," he says.

I think some films have certainly gotten it right when it comes to childrens' stories. I was at the L.A. movie premiere of Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (thanks to Sony) and LOVED the film.  I had never heard of the book before, but everyone I spoke to who loved the book as a child said the movie did it justice.  So yay.  Score 1 for Hollywood.  Score seventy hundred billion for the directors, who both loved the book as children.

The Berenstain Bears certainly work as a television show, though they aren't exactly as popular as Dora or Sesame Street obviously.  But then what do kids know? A bunch of rugrats in some study were offered two choices for a snack: an apple & a rock with a Spongebob sticker on it.  The rugrat majority chose the rock.

I do hope Hollywood can bring all the Berenstain Bears morals to the full length feature film.  Goodness knows these smartass rock-eating punks today could use a few good morals.

Now get offa my lawn!

Comments

[jodifur]

I've started downloading the shows on demand for my 4 year old and they are great. Don't change them!

[Miss]

I'm thinking this is going to go along the lines of Alvin and the Chipmunks. Which makes me dry heave.

I loved these books as kids and I totally agree with you here. Leave it alone! Not everything has to be made into a movie! Wanna bet it will be in 3D?

[Sara]

At the risk of upsetting the MamaPop betches, I have to say that I hate the Berenstain Bears with a deep and unrelenting passion. I have never read such unapologetically didactic crap in my life. But that's just me. Kisses, betches.

[Jill]

Really? does everything need to be "updated?" ugh.

[Krystle @snarkykisses]

First of all, congratumalations at being here!!!! And second of all; what in the hell... I loved The Berenstein Bears, they were my FAVORITE in my youngin' years.

I agree though; now they've got things that are all REALITY!!!!!!!! OMG, JON GOSSELIN JUST USED THE BATHROOM BY MY HOUSE! Oh Ma Gah!

What happened to ...once upon a time, susie and jack were running through the trees, and all of a sudden a BIG GREEN BLOB jumped out at them, and susie ran screaming the other way while the...

Yeah, what happened to them? Clearly if I were in charge of writing fictional stories; well... i'd hate to see what would come out of that when it turns into it's real life show some day. Sheesh!

And geez, IIIIIIIIIIIII don't even want to go to see "where the wild things are".

[iambellaluna]

Ugh. Hollywood ruins another of my childhood faves. I LOVED their books as a youngster. Hollywood call me when you're done bastardizing the 80's.

[Jessi]

Well, obviously someone loves the Berenstain Bears, but I can't imagine. I've always hated their sappy, moralizing nonsense. "Oh, no, fighting is bad. You just have to act happy and you will be!!" I'm all for teaching morals, but let's do it while acknowledging that the world, I don't know exists.

Also, what the fuck their names?!? What happens when Sister grows up and gets marries, what will she name her kids? Or will her name magically change to Mother? I hate that crap. Give characters real names! Honey Bear got the best deal out of the whole naming process and hers was chosen by kids who want to eat stickered-up rocks.

[DianaCLT]

Am LOLing. Jessi - when my daughter was born, my son, without prompting, naturally started calling her "Sister." I can only assume it came from Berenstein Bears, which he never even watched on a frequent basis. I certainly never encouraged it, though it's grown on me over the past 2 1/2 years. ;)

[Loraleee]

Your first post! YAY!

I am not sure I'm going to see Where the Wild Things Are...I just love the book SO MUCH.

And LOVE LOVE LOVE these books and really don't want to see them onscreen.

[Hope]

A slightly modern spin?

Now I'm scared.

[Amber Gail]

There's a reason Cloudy was described in the opening credits as a film made "by a lot of people". That is not your typical Hollywood film. It was not even your typical major feature animation studio film (which, by the way, are not based out of Hollywood at all). It was the brain child of the creators of Clone High, an animated TV series, and a large LARGE selection of fantastic, creative individuals.

The only thing to credit "Hollywood" for in the creation of Cloudy is that it was ever financed at all. Marketing did nothing but gut it - all promo material for that film looked worse than garbage.