Friday Combo Platter: In Defense of George Harrison Edition

People often ask me*, "kdiddy, the MamaPop writers seem like such a fun-loving bunch, warm, caring, and considerate of each other's feelings. They really reserve their shit-talking for everyone else in the world, huh?" I am here to show you that that is not true at all. We're often cruelest to each other.

*This is a total lie.

Thread of the week subject line: video roundtable reminder

Palinode: Just a reminder to get me your video roundtable submissions by tomorrow evening.

BHJ: I'm bored, Mamapop distro. Can you die of boredom?

CIII: Sure. Happens every day. Folks get bored, eat a bunch of shit that's riddled with empty calories and promises, get fat, get heart disease and such. Die. Go for a run, BHJ.

Good Squad Sarah: Can you come over here and do some laundry because I am slammed?

Miss Banshee: You could come over here and vote in my place. I can't stand ANY of the crooks that are running in NJ.

Palinode: Civilization itself breeds a kind of boredom that longs for destruction and fire. So yeah, that shit kills in an oblique way, when you open the city gates to let in the barbarian hordes.

Sweetney: Is BHJ a laundry gnome? I need one of those. And a vacuuming elf. Palinode?

Palinode: An elf, maybe. But vacuuming, I don't know.

Sweetney: someone just found us by way of this search: Youtube AND Batlestar Galactica AND The Plan AND topless bartender. Nice going, Palinode.

Palinode: I thought the word 'topless' would get us some hits. Now let's see what 'gold fist' from my last entry lands us. 

CIII: That stands to reason as I do all my Battlestar Planning completely topless. But never bottomless cause, you know, Battlestar Planning can splatter sometimes and that shit is hot.

Palinode: I rollerskate topless around my neighbourhood at night, screaming "Come out and fucking FIGHT ME, George Harrison!" to no one in particular.

Sweetney: I think I've found our new tagline! MamaPop: Come out and fucking FIGHT ME, George Harrison!

CIII: You gotta be careful George Harrison was a Southpaw and that shit comes out of nowhere and...wait....it was Jimmy [sic] Hendrix that was a Southpaw. I'd never call out Jimmy [sic] Hendrix. Note: We here at MamaPop are not responsible for people who don't know that Hendrix went by "Jimi."

Palinode: When the history of the 21st century is written (with lasers), it will simply be called "The War Between MamaPop and George Harrison."

Goon Squad Sarah: Yeah, well, that fucker is asking for it.

SnarkyAmber: I won't be having you all talk like that about my favorite Beatle. In the war between MamaPop and George Harrison, you are going to pit blogger against blogger, and I don't know yet where my allegiance will fall.

Jodifur: Want to supervise my son's playdate? B/c two 4 year old boys may kill each other...or so I am told.

Palinode: The time has come to decide, Amber. The storm is upon us, and now you have to choose where you will stand: in the Frank Lloyd Wright-inspired split-level of MamaPop, with its austere but comfortable furnishings, or out in the shitty cold rain with George. That's right, while you're out there singing 'My eyes have seen the glory of the strumming of the George' and catching a cold, we'll be inside enjoying raspberry sours and laughing at Spencer Pratt.

BHJ: How the hell is George anyone's favorite Beatle?

Palinode: Oh, he's not not anyone's favourite Beatle...he's Amber's. *makes drinking motion* *does dizzy hobo face thing* *puts on barrel with suspenders for emphasis* *gets arrested* *again*

Sweetney: (is laff-crying)

Palinode: You laugh, but you want to live there.

Sweetney: I like the idea that MamaPop is a Frank Lloyd Wright-inspired split-level. I was thinking more Winchester Mystery house, honestly, but that'll do.

Goon Squad Sarah: Don't you mean the shity rain?

Palinode: Cheep shity gettho rain!  Now this is started to sound like a Jay-Z song.  I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT SHITY GETTHO LOSERS AIN'T ONE.

Sweetney: "Cheep shity gettho rain" -sung to the tune of "Purple Rain". You know, Prince DOES need a comeback record...

Palinode:

I only wanna see Amber singin...

Only wanna see Amber singin...

IN THE SHITY RAIN.

 

Shi-Shi-ty rain

Shi-Shi-ty rain

 

etc.

sweatpantsmom: I'm home with a sick teenager, I'm starting to feel feverish and it appears our sewer line is acting up. Hearing Amber sing might keep me from slitting my wrists.

Sweetney: Wait -- sweatpantsmom, I think you might've mistakenly woken up today in MY life. Try going back to sleep and see if when you wake up things don't completely suck. Srsly.

sweatpantsmom: Sweetney, I would love to go to sleep, but everytime I close my eyes that's when the haunting, mocking voices start. Oh wait - that's just my kids.

SnarkyAmber: I see that while I was dying of the plague you were all trashing me for loving George Harrison. To you, I have only the following to say:

By the way, the "you're cool" is for George Harrison, who a) wrote the best Beatles song ever ("While My Guitar Gently Weeps") and had the best solo album ("All Things Must Pass") out of any of the Beatles. SNARKY AMBER OUT.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Our comment of the week comes from Renee of mommyblogyay, who commented thusly on Weezer Snuggies: The Perfect Marriage of Nerdery and Warmth:

Weezer understands so much about what I'm about. (P.S. I am in a race to get old before everyone else so I can start my Weezer cover band, Geezer, with all my retirement home peeps. If you steal my idea, I will hit you with my cane.)

Holy fuckin' GENIUS, Renee! Count me as your first volunteer to be either a member or groupie of Geezer.

Comments

[BaltimoreGal]

I gotta back Amber on this one, y'all. My favorite solo Beatle is John but my favorite group Beatle is definitely George. He was the glue.

[tonya]

When I first read George Harrison, for some reason I pictured George Hamilton...puts a much different image in your mind to hear some yell "fucking FIGHT ME George Hamilton!"

[Mrs Chaos]

I knew I loved Snarky Amber for a reason. (Even if I can't commit to one favorite Beatles and have to have 2.)

Also, I adore MamaPop. That is all.

[inkypop]

George is totally my favorite beatle too. I'll stand and fight them all to the death with you for him, Amber!

[Renee]

As the commenter of the week, and the mother to a son NAMED AFTER George, I feel I should weigh in. Mamapop would totally kick George's ass. The only Beatle worthy of the ring was Richard Starkey. *rimshot* **rimshot for making a rimshot joke about a drummer**

ON FIRE THIS WEEK

[Bitchilla]

George RULES!!!!

[Snarky Amber]

The readers have spoken, and what they appear to be saying is that the rest of you can suck it.

[indycitygirl]

Not only does George rule but when I quit my gettho job at the store I work at,I am goin out scarface style and I dream about it daily

[iambellaluna]

"I got 99 problems but a shitty ghetto looser ain't one"

Genius.

[Sils]

Um, George wrote Something, which is an amazing song. I'm with Amber.

Can one of you please dicuss the Twilight Volvo commercial next week? www.whatdrivesedward.com No joke, well, in that it's a real advertising campaign. Look for an upswing in wealthy 16 year olds driving safe cars.

[Heather]

I'm also with Amber, and George (may he rest in peace).