Today Should File Under - "Things that Confuse and Generally Piss Me Off" Or, Why Can't Life Be More Like Footloose

I'd like to preface this post with the fact that I'm not super bright.  So, maybe it's me.  Maybe I'm the silly fucker in the "Dunce" cap in the corner.  All slack-jawed and drooling and waiting for re-runs of Mama's Family.  Probly.

It's always seemed to me that smart-folk are consistently up on all things politics.  Smart-folk watch CNN and other shows with some sort of ticker at the bottom with letters and numbers and green up/down arrows.  Shows where handsome men and women talk in very matter of fact voices and wear sensible clothing and have very serious expressions on their face like my 3rd grade teacher, Mrs. Rexroat.

Me?  I'm more of a Wipeout kind of guy.

Also, politics mostly piss me off.  Maybe my mistake with Politics is that I oversimplify.  Perhaps, one of the afore mentioned Smart Folk could straighten me out.  Cause, I don't get it.  Here I thought we, as a Nation, were slowly moving forward.  Growing out of that Pouty Teenager phase and into a sort of Young Adulthood.  Because really, honestly, we're pretty young still as a Nation.  We're only 233.  There are fucking trees here older that our Nation.  We were bound to fuck up a few times.  Like my youngest daughter.  Moving at light speed all the time with a devil may care attitude, and always two steps ahead of Now.  Jabbering and babbling away, walking backward - fast - and turning...BLAMMMO!! right into a door jamb, piece of furniture, appliance, etc.  When you're little, you fuck up.  You make mistakes and grow.  I get that.

What I don't get, is making that bad decision over and over.  I'm at a loss.  And I'm frustrated and I feel like I'm watching my 2 year old daughter repeat the old "butter knife in the outlet" maneuver over and over and wanting to scream, "Stop that shit!  Don't you know that's the wrong thing to do?!  That's a BAD decision!  Please, for the love of all things Good and Pure, stop making those terrible decisions!"

I'm looking at you, Maine.

Seriously.  What the fuck?  Does it really matter that there are maybe two men, or two women that are so taken with one another that they want to spend the rest of their life (maybe) with each other?  Really?  I mean, this really shouldn't be an issue, should it?  

Oh, I reckon it's not all your fault, Maine.  California and Hawaii did it first, I know.  Our own government won't even recognize gay marriage.  Whether it's the fact that gay marriage is so, terribly atrocious that it's voted upon over and over, discussed and filibustered and lobbied for and against, or maybe the thought of gay marriage scares the Big Wheels so much, they just ignore it.  The elephant in the room.  I don't know.  I'm not real bright, remember?

But I find myself fuming on days like today.  When people - my people, your people, our people - decide that they've had enough Forward Movement.  I say this because I need to live vicariously through progressive states.  States like Massachusetts, Iowa, Vermont, Connecticut, and until today, Maine.  I need to see a glimpse of hope.  A ray of, Maybe.  Like a middle school dance.  It takes a few brave (drunk) souls to step foot on the parquet, but after the ice is broken and those unsure kids realize that it's probly gonna be okay to get their groove thing on, it's a par-tay.  And there's absolutely No Parking on the Dance floor.  Like Footloose.

I need to count on those other more progressive states to be my Kevin Bacon.  To rail against the oppressive preacher man and his congregation.  To pull Kurt Vonnegut novels out of that burning pile.  To go to war with the town bully and his army of barrel chested cronies and have a good old fashioned game of Chicken on tractors.  I need this like a Junkie needs his/her fix.  I need it like Sid needed Nancy.

Nobody said shit when my wife and I decided to get married 13 years ago.  We walked, arm in arm, all in love and shit, down to the Courthouse, filled out some paperwork, convinced a couple of people that we weren't brother and sister, and Bob's your uncle - married.  I guess it was okay because I have a penis and my wife, a vagina.  Or, maybe I'm oversimplifying again.  Can it be a penis/penis thing?  A vagina/vagina thing?  I've heard people call gay marriage "unholy".  "Unnatural".  That type of bullshit fascinates me and infuriates me, both at the same time.

I thought it was just Love.

But, maybe I'm oversimplifying again.  

Comments

[Sils]

Civil Rights shouldn't be determined by what is, essentially, a public opinion poll.

I'm going to leave it at that.

[Me]

Many of us don't see legalizing gay marriage as moving forward. Just because we don't agree with you, doesn't mean we are stupid. We just plain don't agree.

[Raye]

Things that make me sad: when Mamapop turns political.

I agree wholeheartedly with "me" (above, am not referencing self :). This IS a divisive issue and disagreement does not = stupidity, on either side. When I want to delve into the politics, I head to those ticker shows. When I come to Mamapop, I am looking to be thoroughly amused by the oh-so witty commentary from the obviously incredibly talented contributors. I guess I’ll file this post under "disappointment."

[Kelly]

Whoa! Somebody's blood sugar is low or something, because WTF to Raye and Me? This is a place to come for more than just the latest John and Kate news or sparkly vampires and sparklier unicorns. I think this issue is very much a part of our culture, and this is a Pop CULTURE blog. Whether you agree or not, don't tell someone(whose job it is to write here)what you don't like them writing about.

Consider these replies as something that has confused and pissed me off. Ok, cIII, jump out of that VW bug and start dancing around a deserted warehouse for me.

[cIII]

Raye,

Sorry to disappoint. I have to say though, this is hardly the first time I've been the bearer of disappointment. It's kind of my thing.

I don't think, and forgive me if I'm wrong, I likened your or Me (again, above commenter. Not "me" personally) as "stupid". I reread my post and failed to find that particular word at all. But then again, I read it pretty fast, kind of how I wrote it. No. I would never tell someone that they were stupid because of what they believed. Not to their face anyway. Mostly. Christ, that's how wars are started. And I think we can all agree that we've had just about enough of those damn things.

Again, sorry to disappoint. But if this particular topic ain't Pop Culture, then I'm confused cause there are a whole shit-ton of folks talking about it. And, I'm the new guy. I don't quite know the rules yet.

[Alex]

I, for one, think it was an excellent post.

[nukegirl]

I'd rather have a post like this than yet another Jon-and-Kate Plus Whatever post. In fact, I've taken to boycotting those posts because I don't want more of them. And I agree with you. I'm very much saddened by what happened in Maine, because I was hoping we'd made more progress than that. Someday, it won't be okay for people to take the other side on this issue because everyone will recognize that it is a civil rights matter. We take love where we can get it. We can't afford not to.

[Stephanie]

Wow. Yeah, Mamapop is tabloids, and sparkle and fluff, not issuing deragatory blanket political statements. If I agree with you I'm all good, if not??

[Amy]

It also wasn't THAT long ago that interracial marriage was not allowed & my wonderful husband and I would be pariahs. Change takes a long time and hopefully we'll look back on this issue and wonder why it took so long for this civil right to be granted to all consenting adults.

[Jgamma]

I don't read this site for politics either, but no one forced me to read this entry. It's a well-written opinion piece, either read it or don't, just like anything else on here. I personally CANNOT GET ENOUGH of the Jon & Kate saga and I come to this site for the reality TV recaps. Anything else interesting is bonus material.

[BaltimoreGal]

This was perfect. I will be sharing this.
Sils had a good point as well.

[Deb on the Rocks]

I wish it were about the shy states who need progressive others to break the quiet cloud over the dancefloor. The opposition is vehement, unreasonable, resourced and oppressive, and they leverage the fight on a huge spectrum, ranging from moral grounds to state v. federal rights. When you read opposition, or even allied opinions like this one, substitute the word "race" for the queer words.

"I guess it was okay because I'm white and my and my wife is white. Or, maybe I'm oversimplifying again. Can it be a race thing? A color thing? I've heard people call marriage between two people of color "unholy". "Unnatural". That type of bullshit fascinates me and infuriates me, both at the same time."

I think gay marriage is about justice and equity more than love--many of us make formal and even legal commitments guided by our love, and that won't change.

[Daffodil Campbell]

I shared this link on Facebook, because I don't get it either. And there are plenty of celebrities involved in this "political issue", so maybe you gotta just throw in some photos of Neil Patrick Harris (swooooon -matter of fact, you could just put up some photos of him for no reason at all, m'kay?) and it'll be all better for the folks that don't come here for their "politics".

[Jamie]

For many it is a penis/penis, vagina/vagina issue. I have NO problem with gays, gay love, civil partnerships, "partner" rights, etc. I do however have a problem with gays getting MARRIED. Marriage was created by god, designed as a partnership between a man and a woman (penis/vagina) for the purpose of creating an everlasting partnership and for procreation.

[Snarky Amber]

I love how Charlie's continued assertions that HE is not real bright are interpreted as assertions that people who disagree with him aren't real bright. I'm not about to call anyone here stupid, but I do detect some reading comprehension failure.

[Palinode]

Same-sex marriage? Wuh? But don't people have sex when they get married? How are two men or two women supposed to have sex together? This is the first I've heard of such a thing. I'm going to Google that. Tonight. When my wife's asleep.

For the next thirty years.

[Amy C]

Jamie, I respect that you have your personal beliefs, and include the sanctity of marriages consecrated before the god of your choosing as one of these beliefs. BUT my hetero marriage was before a judge, not a priest. There was no mention of anything divine in our ceremony. And there are plenty of hetero marriages that have no plans for procreation. Should we be "civil unions" too? As long as the federal and state governments grant legal benefits to heterosexuals that aren't available to homosexuals, then this is a fundamental civil rights issue. No one's forcing churches to perform ceremonies at odds with their teachings. Those of us who support gay marriage see it as basic equality before the eyes of the law. It shouldn't have anything to do with biblical views of the institution of marriage. If that's the definition of "marriage," then make mine a civil union please, and make it available to my gay brothers and sisters. And thanks for the piece, cIII; there's always room for insight and wit on Mamapop, no matter the subject matter.

[Amy C]

Jamie, I respect your belief that marriage before the god of your choosing is sacred. But my hetero marriage was before a judge, and plenty of hetero marriages have no plans for procreation. So should we be deemed "civil unions" too? Should hetero couples who can't have children or don't want children be denied "marriage"? The legal definition of marriage, and the accruing legal benefits, have nothing to do with the biblical definition or biblical "purpose" of the institution. If that's the case, then make mine a civil union, please, and make it available to my gay brothers and sisters, because we never mentioned anything divine in our ceremony. As long as the law confers benefits on heterosexuals that it denies homesexuals, this is a fundamental civil rights issue, and no one is going to make your church perform ceremonies at odds with its beliefs. It's just about equality before the law. Thanks, cIII, for your insight and wit; there's always room on Mamapop for intelligence and humor, no matter the subject matter.

[Amy C]

Sorry for the double posting. Got a little carried away there and thought the first one didn't take. Mybad.

[cIII]

No worries, Amy.  I admire your tenacity. 

[KBO]

This is absolutely relevant to this site. You don't get to swoon over NPH but essentially claim he's a second-class citizen. Compartmentalizing that is hypocritical and only serves to justify one's own bigotry.

[Katya]

Seriously. And I don't see the logic in Jamie's ideas, nor do I feel the need to preface what I have to say with a disclaimer. I shouldn't have to kowtow to beliefs that foster opporession before I can say my piece. And I won't.

That said, if god had created marriage, you wouldn't need to file for a license with the county. That's like saying "god-given liberties." That phrase is ludicrous. God didn't give you liberties, which is why you break out a law book to learn your rights, not a holy book, and why you go to a lawyer with legal troubles, not a priest.

Enough with the invalid syllogism, and enough with pretending that anyone needs to apologize to the people who perpetuate it.

[TwoBusy]

First off: Charlie, this was a beautiful post.

B) The evolution of civil rights - any form of civil rights - is a process. Hence: evolution. There are those who instinctively protect the status quo, and those ready to go to bat for the underdog to try to make equality a little more equal.

Fourth) That said, civil discourse and discussion on civil rights issues is rational and necessary. Regardless of whether or not you agree with Charlie (or me, for that matter), the propriety of raising it as a topic of cultural (and, yes, pop cultural) importance is self-evident.

VIII) The Maine vote was a step backwards.

But it won't be the last step.

[Sherri]

Beautifully said, and exactly how I felt when I heard the results of Maine's votes. For those who claim marriage is only a holy union...how about filing your federal and state taxes as single and seeing if there's inequality under the law? Oh, and make sure they tax you for your spouse's health and dental insurance payments as well...and I mean even for the amount your employer pays. Also, make sure you can't use any pre-tax money for ANYTHING for your spouse. Trust me, it's nowhere near equal. That's just the start of all the things that are different for those of us that can't legally marry in our society.

[Leah]

I liked your post. Planning on sharing it. And yes, frankly I'm thankful to not read or see another word on Jon and Kate.