MamaPop™

Where the Wild Things Are Review

A rough day. Disappointment. Some shouting. Going too far. Slamming doors. Desperate escape from life. Sometimes, it's really hard to face how alike childhood and adulthood are.

An Open Letter To Ralph Lauren: Women Are Not Bratz Dolls

Dear Ralph Lauren:

There has been a great deal of press surrounding your ex-employee Fillipa Hamilton, the model who was photoshopped to a ridiculous degree and then summarily fired for being too fat. I have to wonder aloud why someone who is 5'10 and 120 pounds can ever be considered overweight, as a BMI of 17, which Ms. Hamilton has, is actually considered underweight. By a lot. But that's not the world of modeling, right? Of course not. I should just go about my business and let you fire women who dare to have even a modicum of realism to their figures. 

Bullshit.

Going Bump In The Night: Six Movies For Your Hallowe'en Viewing Pleasure

 In a stunning piece of news that might've slipped beneath your usually impeccable radar, it's October. I'm not even kidding — you could look it up. In even more stunning news, the end of October means Hallowe'en, a night of trick-or-treating fun and stupid-ass parents who like to pretend they're stuffed scarecrows sitting in a chair next to the front steps until some cute little kid comes along and suddenly they jump up and scream bloody terrifying murder and scare the living bejeezus out of some sweet boy or girl who's been waiting all year to go out as a fairy princess or Superman. I fucking hate those parents.

What were we talking about? Oh, right... Hallowe'en, October... blah blah blah. More pertinently, October is the month where all right-thinking Americans (and the occasional right-thinking Canadian) choose to celebrate the dimming of the day and the fleeting popular embrace of ghosts, witches, demonic were-creatures and other critters not usually welcomed into genteel society by engaging in the time-honored tradition of watching lots and lots of horror movies. Why? Because, unlike children, we can make the conscious choice to be scared — because we understand and experience it as entertainment, as 90 minutes of escapist fun that frees us from the dreary bonds of our day-to-day and provides us with the vicarious thrill of gambling with our lives.

Awesome Documentaries about Very Specific Things

Because I am a frazzled working mom, I'm often way behind on seeing movies with smaller releases. This obviously applies to documentaries since I'm not in a huge release market and these things tend to fly through theaters anyway.

Thankfully, Netflix (and other such services) exist, so I'm able to catch up on some of the awesome stuff that I miss. Most recently, I rented and adored two documentaries that are about subjects so very micro that they're almost ridiculous: Helvetica (the font) and Donkey Kong.

Couple's Retreat is Funny, if You're Deaf and Blind and Are Reading Dirty Jokes in Braille.

My mother always says if you can't say something nice, don't say anything but she's a dumb, lazy whore so why should I listen to her? (Get it? I'm NOT doing what she says and calling her a whore so that's double funny for anyone keeping score at home.) Any way... I saw Couple's Retreat this weekend and only saying nice things about it is like a Battle of the Network Stars, and on the ABC Team is Mr.T, and Michael Knight, and Murray from Riptide, and my team is the PBS team and all we have is Grover, and that claymation Davey kid from the religious show that was on before Sesame Street, and Jordie LaForge with eyes from Reading Rainbow so it's pretty much an uphill battle, is my point. 

MamaPop Video Roundtable: Breakfast Confessional Edition

Welcome to MamaPop's not-inaugural video roundtable!  This week, the ginormous brains of MamaPop talk about their favourite childhood breakfast cereals.  In the process we uncover the bitter truth about the powerlessness and anomie of children.  Also, no one mentioned porridge.

The MamaPop video roundtable is a weekly round-up of opinions and noodling from all the MamaPoppers in which we attempt to answer en masse your questions about pop culture.  Don't forget: we want to hear from you.  Get your speak on in the comments.  And keep the questions coming.

Top 5 Reasons Why Spike TV Can Kiss My Sweet Ass

Spike TV, a division of MTV Networks that has made itself synonymous with blood, beer, and babes, has staked out some strong territory in the American television market. Its violent and misogynist programming can be found piping bone-crunching, blood-letting UFC gore into bars across the continent to the cheers of the alcohol-steeped masses. Few stations have been able to garner so much free advertising to such a cognitively submissive crowd, and so it comes as no surprise that Spike TV and its online arm have muscled their way into 98 million homes.

If you are at all familiar with Spike TV, it will also come as no surprise to you that this makes me more than a little stabby.

Here are the top 5 reasons why Spike TV can kiss my sweet ass:

Gourmet Folds But Curiously Miniature Donkey Talk Magazine Survives

Gourmet magazine announced earlier this week that it would cease publication after nearly 70 years in print. I wasn't a regular reader of the magazine since I could never understand why fifteen steps were required to make a scrambled egg, but I would pick it up occasionally if I wanted to get more adventurous and cook up something that required exotic ingredients and fancy gadgets. I think I remember a recipe that called for the use of a food mill, a nutmeg grater, a stapler and a pound of butterflies and it was delicious.

Not surprisingly, Gourmet's publisher Condé Nast blamed the magazine's demise on the tough economic climate. But how to explain the survival of some other more obscure publications that seem to be weathering our economic downturn? Yes, rest easy - you'll still be receiving your issues of Miniature Donkey Talk in the mail and your Girls and Corpses magazine subscription won't be running out anytime soon either.

Here's a rundown of some choice titles that have managed to outlive Gourmet at the newsstand:

Flashback Friday - S**t I Wasn't Allowed To Have Edition

We all have toys we weren't allowed to have when we were kids, right? And sometimes we think the rationale behind our parents' decisions to deprive us of the latest toy and, therefore, a modicum of playground cred, were probably well-reasoned. But in other cases, twenty years later, you still want to say, "WTF, parental units? Why couldn't I have Garbage Pail Kids trading cards?"

Win Vs. Fail: The New Season Premieres

We start out running with a FAIL: I *think* I understand why CBS Monday has created the schedule it runs, and I'm not happy about it. The schedule sandwiches two positively dreadful shows (Accidentally on Purpose and Two And A Half Men) between How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory, which are fantastic shows. That way, you tune in at 8 for HIMYM, and stick around through the two bad shows to watch BBT at 9:30. 

Pretty sneaky, sis, but I'm not happy about it. Let's see what else is going on in the new season thus far; Win vs. Fail style!

Roman Polanski is a Rape-Rapist

*Disclaimer:* This article describes sexual violence that may be triggering to some readers. 

Quick poll: what word or phrase would you use to describe the act of inviting a 13-year-old girl to your friend's mansion, giving her champagne and quaaludes, and then penetrating her anally and vaginally while she protests and drifts in and out of consciousness? I'm guessing a lot of you would categorize those acts as rape. Some of you might actually not be able to form words for that sort of thing, because you're too sick to your stomach imagining such a thing happening to your child or the child of a loved one. 

Now let's say you're Whoopi Goldberg. Well, then I guess your answer is something like, "it wasn't 'rape-rape.'" Interesting.

Top Chef Vegas Recap: Episode IV, A New Hope

Fine, it wasn't really "A New Hope", but it did have an Obi-Wan/Yoda type hero. This episode was full of stars and this post is full of spoilers so if last night's Top Chef is unwatched on your DVR you might want to wait until tomorrow to read this.

Vivre Las Vegas, bitches.

The high stakes Quickfire was high stakes indeed.

Worst Boob Jobs Ever. No, Really. Ever.

Feeling a little down about The Girls?  A bit saggy?  A wee flat?  Allow me to make your day.  Here are a few of the worst boob jobs ever, celebrity and civilian alike.

Let's start with The Obvious.  Victoria Beckham.

It looks like she's carrying twins in a Baby Bjorn.

I don't know quite how to prepare you for the next one.  Let's just do it quick like a band-aid. (Mostly SFW.)

Chicks with Dicks: Why Is Lady Gaga Asked for Proof but Prince Gets a Pass?

Lady Gaga has been put under the microscope for supposedly being misleading when it comes to her gender representation, by which I am referring to a recent video crotch shot of her at the Glastonbury Festival which supposedly reveals a larger bulge between her legs than one might expect. Personally, I don't really see it, but enough people have been so moved by her supposedly monumental mound that they have been typing out the word hermaphrodite all over the internet with the feverish zeal of a witch hunt.

Why does a barely-there crotch bump on someone publicly identified as female cause people to feel that they have the license to ask her for proof of her genital structure when Prince, a somewhat feminine male whose crotch bump is often barely apparent, is left in relative peace as it concerns his specific anatomy?

I Think The Twilight Phenomenon May Be Approaching Maximum Ridiculosity

I know, this is sort of like the National Weather Service issuing a tornado warning when you're halfway to Oz. Nevertheless, the number of people and manufacturers crawling out of the woodwork to grab a piece of the Twilight-related merchandise pie has reached a critical mass. If you don't believe that it's worse than any other popular film, maybe you should take a look at some of this crap.

Top Chef Vegas Episode 3 Obsevations: Thunderbirds Recap

I'm still loving Top Chef Season 6. The competition this year is intense and the dead weight is being weeded out quickly.

Observations during the Quickfire:

1) Mike - You don't have to be a douche. Even if you want to educate the audience on risotto there are considerably more charming ways to do so. Instead you just come off like an asshole.

2) Ashley is really sweaty, but she made her own cheese, so that is something.

3) If I were Ashley I would have beaten the crap out of Preeti for being and idiot and stealing my water.

4) Poor Jesse. She isn't going to last long. I actually almost feel sorry for her. She always knows what she did wrong, but she always does something wrong.

5) Mark Peel seems know that he is a badass.

6) The Essence of the Potato - I changed my mind about what I am going to name my band.

Observations during the Elimination Challenge:

Is Spencer Pratt The New Andy Kaufman?

Because seriously, as I sit here writing about him for the umpteenth time, vowing, as I always do, that I will never write about him and his facial pubes ever again, ever ever ever, I have to give the little bastard credit. He knows exactly what he's doing. He loves what he does, and he's extremely successful at it. So as much as you and I hate him (and I hate him, oh, we hateses him so much) there's a kind of poetry to what he does.

Case in point: Spencer has decided, if his sound byte to US Weekly is to be believed, to legally change his name to "King Spencer Pratt." Now after you clean up the spit take you just did, let that sink in for a minute. And then you tell me if this isn't the greatest performance art this side of professional wrestling.