MamaPop™

Please Don't Let Grau Wal Hair Jewelry Be the Next Big Thing

Certain fashion trends need to die. The return of popped collars? Horribly reminiscent of American Psycho era high society serial killers. Tissue paper thin jersey anything? Guaranteed to make anyone look lumpy and dowdy. Really long and pointy toes on shoes? If freakishly long and misshapen feet are your thing, all the power to you.

Some fashion trends, though, should never be born...

I Think The Twilight Phenomenon May Be Approaching Maximum Ridiculosity

I know, this is sort of like the National Weather Service issuing a tornado warning when you're halfway to Oz. Nevertheless, the number of people and manufacturers crawling out of the woodwork to grab a piece of the Twilight-related merchandise pie has reached a critical mass. If you don't believe that it's worse than any other popular film, maybe you should take a look at some of this crap.

Michael Jackson's Hair to be Turned into Diamonds

Because seriously, did you expect a saner conclusion to the man's life? 

LifeGem, the company that makes treasurable diamonds from dead people is going to make a limited edition diamond from the singed locks of Michael Jackson's hair. 

 

"Our plan is to give people an opportunity to own a diamond made from Michael Jackson's DNA," said Dean VandenBiesen, founder of LifeGem. 

Oh no. NOT CREEPY AT ALL. 

Ice Skater Brian Boitano to Host Cooking Show, Thus Making the Lord's Creation Complete

Many years ago, some hopeful young lads from the town of South Park asked themselves, "What would Brian Boitano do?" Based on his experiences in the 1988 Winter Olympics, fighting grizzly bears with his fire breath, fighting the evil robot kings of the future, and building the Great Pyramids of Egypt and defeating Kublai Khan in the process, Brian Boitano rose to prominence as a wise sage and prophet, just like Jesus and those other dudes.
Now he turns his powers to the insurmountable challenge of....PAELLA! AUUGGHHHH!!!!!

Bloom Bling Burgled

Sorry, but when the opportunity to do an awesomely ridiculous alliterative headline à la Page Six arises, you gotta carpe the diem, know what I'm saying? But, you guys, it is totally not funny that Orlando Bloom's Hollywood Hills home was robbed of over $500K worth of jewelry, so you just stop your giggling. This is serious business.

I am probably not the first to do so, but I would like to implicate Lindsay Lohan in this case, because if something in Hollywood goes missing, there's like a 60% chance that Lindsay thought you said she could have it one time and then pocketed it when you went to the bathroom.