MamaPop™

Amy Winehouse: In Ur Nitemarez, Stealin Ur Babeez

A warning: the image that follows the jump is NSFYS (Not Safe For Your Soul)

This Week in Nekkid Celebrities Part 3 - Revenge of the Nipple

O hai dere. It's been a while since I brought you the latest news in nekkid celebs. Celebrity nipples have been pretty thin on the ground, unless you count Levi Johnston as a celebrity, which I don't. This week brings us Whitney Houston busting out of her dress, Meghan McCain's not-that-scandalous Twitter scandal and Elisabeth Hasselbeck's accidental MMS nipple.

Miss Plastic Hungary is Real, Well Sort Of

If you live in Hungary and really want to be in a beauty pageant but you are ugly - or even slightly sub-standard looking, fear not, there is an event just for you.

Well, fear not if you have piles of money.

The Miss Plastic Hungary pageant actually requires that a contestant has had extensive surgical enhancement to qualify.

Oh how I wish I were making this up.

Dita Von Teese Makes Wonderbra Hotter Than My Mother Made It Out To Be

Dita Von Teese has launched a new lingerie collection, the Wonderbra Party Edition, and, frankly, I think I love it.

Generally, uber-femininity looks like crazy drag no matter what kind of genitalia is being concealed beneath the champagne pink silk gusset, but this nod to pin-up glamour from the mid-20th century is a kind of costuming I can get behind.

Is there such a thing as costume lingerie? Or is lingerie, by nature, costume? Well, no matter, because if lingerie is costume, then the Wonderbra Party Edition collection does it up good.

Jon & Kate-Inspired Pr0n Exists. Commence Barfing Now.

Thankfully, the pr0n in question is not of the estranged Gosselins. Not yet, anyway. But you know with their meteoric rise to "fame" a sex tape is due any day now.

No, the *ahem* film that I'm referring to belongs to that mainstay of the adult film genre: the parody.

Worst Boob Jobs Ever. No, Really. Ever.

Feeling a little down about The Girls?  A bit saggy?  A wee flat?  Allow me to make your day.  Here are a few of the worst boob jobs ever, celebrity and civilian alike.

Let's start with The Obvious.  Victoria Beckham.

It looks like she's carrying twins in a Baby Bjorn.

I don't know quite how to prepare you for the next one.  Let's just do it quick like a band-aid. (Mostly SFW.)

Giada de Laurentiis' Cleavage is Out To Get Us

What do you think of Giada de Laurentiis' cleavage? When you see the Food Network chef's bosoms, does it make you reach for a nice Chianti, or do you find it disturbing and start to feel funny down there? At least one person watching doesn't appreciate Giada tossing her big, ripe tomatoes in with the pasta, and they've started a petition to stop her from corrupting the planet.

Called the 'Cover Giada De Laurentiis's Cleavage on Food Network' campaign, it aims to keep the Everyday Italian star from using her boobies to destroy unsuspecting minds. Here's the compelling argument:

Dolly Parton's New Video Should Be Enjoyed Only On the Radio

Dolly Parton has a new video out and it's absolutely awful. It's for a song called 'Change It' which is exactly what you'll want to do to your TV channel if this video ever comes across your screen.

Look, I'm not hatin' on Dolly, I just think she deserves better. Although I'm not a fan, I know she's got a gazillion of them out there and they should all be hootin' and hollerin' mad that Dolly's record company decided to spend only $15 making this video. At least that's what it looks like. Well, make that $16.95 because it appears they may have sprung for a couple of new wigs for the 'Queen of Country Music.'

Besides the fact that the entire thing takes place in that most-overused of video shoot locations, a photo studio (I'm guessing the local 'real-life recording studio' was booked, as well as the 'empty, gritty warehouse') it contains a number of bizarre costume changes and, inexplicably, a segment where Dolly shaves a guy's head. Hee haw!

Jessica Simpson Has A New Football Player Boyfriend

Jessica Simpson must have some sort of fixation with NFL Quarterbacks. The grapevine is saying that she has been electronically "seeing" the third string quarterback for the Washington Redskins.

Ouch.

Not that Colt Brennan is a bad looking guy, or a bad person, it just seems like if a QB is what you are after going from the starting Quarterback for America's Team (YOUR Dallas Cowboys) to the third string, sixth round pick from Hawaii who has never taken a snap in a regular season game...

Posh Spice aka Victoria Beckham to Replace Paula Abdul on American Idol

Since Paula Abdul is leaving American Idol there is a gaping hole where the crazy should go. Who will step up to fill the void? Fear not, Idol fans, Victoria Beckham will be temporarily replacing Abdul.

Even though I have concerns that Beckham is far to sane to really replace Paula Abdul in our hearts she does have that I won't smile or eat on camera thing going so you know she isn't 100%.

An Actual Conversation Between Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears

Britney: HEY Y'ALL! Look who I'm hanging out with!!!!

LiLo: Heh heh. Hey.

Britney: Betcha never thought you'd see the two of US together again, huh??

LiLo: Or at least, never see us together without fire raining from the sky, right??

Britney: But here we are!!

LiLo: Yep, the Two Weaveheads of the Apocalypse.

Britney: Blondes have more fun, YAY!

Asylum.com Issues Megan Fox a Citation For Overexposure

How do you know when the clock is running down on your fifteen minutes? There are many signs and portents, but unfortunately, the time-honored Media Moratorium (wherein sites make a public proclamation that they will no longer write about the celeb unless they do something "newsworthy") has been only marginally successful in the past. The largest piece of evidence for the unreliability of Media Moratorium as a sign of demise is the fact that Paris Hilton continues to crop up in all of her awfulness. 

Despite the limited success of such moratoria, the latest celebrity to receive a citation for media overexposure is Transformers "actress" Megan Fox.

Gisele Bundchen's Baby Bump Retouched for London Fog Ads; In Other News, Photoshop Lessons Now Available Online!

Pregnant Gisele Bundchen, who is expecting her first child with husband Tom Brady, appears almost nekkid in a sexy new London Fog ad campaign but her baby bump is nowhere to be found. According to a press release from the company, "...Most of the shots have been retouched to respect her privacy during this wonderful and personal time in her life.” Although, curiously, the statement then goes on to read, “Nobody is sexier or more beautiful than Gisele Bundchen in nothing but a London Fog trench coat, even with her visible baby bump."

Which leaves me with two questions:

1) If nobody is sexier than a pregnant Gisele Bundchen, why Photoshop her pregnant belly?

And

2) What kind of lame ass airbrushing job is that?

Check Out Denise Richards' Funbags!

Any parent who's ever thrown a kid's birthday party knows the most labor intensive part of the entire process is putting together the dreaded Goodie Bags. Who invented this masochistic, time-consuming, crappy tradition? Invite a bunch of kids to a party, babysit them, feed them, and then send them home with a bag of knick-knacks that probably cost more than the gift they brought? Why not just hand out $20 bills at the door?

But check it out - maybe for your next party, save yourself some time and trouble and have Denise Richards' bring over her Funbags! As she says in the following video, "I've been showing off my Funbags at parties for years, and now they're yours to enjoy!" And the kids love them. "Her parties are the best! I can't wait to get my hands on her Funbags!" says a satisfied 10-year-old.

Hugh Hefner Can't Tell His Girlfriends Apart

*big sigh*

Hugh Hefner admitted to Fox News that he has trouble telling his girlfriends apart.

Sure at 83 some of it might be that he is addled, but another part of it is that they are identical twins.

They are also 20 years old. 

Fortunately for Hef, one of them (I'm not sure if it is Karissa or Kristina) has a mark on her neck.

Dear Sluts,

Black Hockey Jesus Interviews Megan Fox - Not Much More Than Meets The Eye

I recently sat down with Megan Fox in her sprawling library (see left) to interview the stunning Transformers star. OK that's a total lie. Because you know: books. But I'm lying about the interview too. See. Normally, interviewers lie about what people actually say. But I lie about the whole interview itself. Because MamaPop is a groundbreaking collective of Pop Culture reporting that pushes the boundaries of lying and deception. Anyway, I interviewed Megan Fox in her library (nudge nudge) and she assaulted me with pearl after pearl of luminous wisdom. It was like she had an automatic pearl weapon of mass wisdom and she was like ratta-tatta-tatta with the wisdom. She blew my face off with wisdom.

Interview is after the jump. It's actually a collage of things that Megan Fox has actually (I'm serious) said (genuine quotes are in italics) in various recent interviews. Let me repeat: yes, she really said these things. Just not to me. But that doesn't detract from their profundity.

This Is Marketing Genius

I love viral marketing because there is no other medium being used today with the philosophy of "Who Effing cares?!" as it's core value. The Producers of Dead Snow, the delicious Norwegian, Nazi Zombie film have decided that to bolster the sales of their upcoming DVD release in their homeland and also the US theatrical run, they would produce a viral marketing piece entitled "My Ass" which features a scantily clad Norwegian supermodel named Linni Meister dancing around and singing about how great her ass looks. 

Of course they did.